Jokes corner

[Conjurator]

You're so ugly, even Hello Kitty says goodbye.

[Conjurator]

I bought a fridge for my wife's birthday. You should have seen her face light up when she opened the door.

[Conjurator]

You remind me of a box of chocolates?
Why?
Because I want to take your top off.

[Conjurator]

Each day I spend a few hours on a running track, next week I might even turn it on.

[Conjurator]

Girl we can play zoo and you can tame my monkey.

[Conjurator]

What do you call a man having a seizure in a pile of dead leaves? Russel.

[Conjurator]

You look like the Grinch with a plastic surgery gone wrong.

[Conjurator]

The trick to enjoying people company is not to spend much time with them.

[Conjurator]

Everybody loves success but they hate successful people.

[Conjurator]

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.

[Conjurator]

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers tonight. Why? Oh, I'm just a narcissist.

[Conjurator]

I speak swedish with a Ikea accent.

[Conjurator]

I'd invite you for a drink, but I have butterflies in my stomach... and a parakeet... and a panda... Well you get the idea.

[Conjurator]

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

[Conjurator]

I'm not a facebook status, you don't have to like me.

[Conjurator]

The recommended age for the Ouija board is 8 years old. The legal age for drinking is 21. So you can get drunk only at 21 but in the meantime you can summon the devil.

[Conjurator]

A new study suggest that people will read a sentence to the end if it contains the words "a new study suggests that".

[Conjurator]

I feel sorry for wild animals because it's like they're always camping without beer.

[Conjurator]

Politics is just showbusiness for ugly and stupid people.

[Conjurator]

I was in a marching band. I accidentally took an extra step when I was at the top at the stairs. I'm now in a rolling band.