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Auto-correct changed morning run to morning rum. So change of plans, guys.
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A work cubicle is just a padded cell for crazies without a door.Comment
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The wind was so stron last night, I struggle to light up a cigarette. After 20 minutes trying, I stopped my motorcycle on the hard shoulder.Comment
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Two reasons why I never give money to homeless people: 1) They would spend it on alcohol, 2) I want to spend it on alcohol too.Comment
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What's the difference between chickens and turkeys? Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving.Comment
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins. I thought: "That's a turtle disaster!".Comment
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If cats could text you back, they wouldn't.Comment
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What's a difference between a mechanic and a doctor? The mechanic fixes his mistakes. The doctor buries them.Comment
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Masturbating, in people's eyes, is wrong. And it burns too.Comment
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Why did the chickens cross the Moebius strip? To get on the same side.Comment
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We never knew he was drunk until he showed up at work sober.Comment
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Why did God create alcohol? So ugly people would have a chance at sex.Comment
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When I was in school, 60% of students were good at maths, I was in the other 20%.Comment
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"Who the hell allowed me to be born in this head?"... **A blonde's thought said before killing itself.**Comment
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My parents read the book I was writing. They said they hope the main character dies at the end. Kinda sad. It was my autobiography.Comment
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What are the worst six years in a blonde's life? Third grade.Comment
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Blondes think that quarterbacks are slot machines that will eventually give them all their quarters back. That's why they keep messing around with their levers.Comment
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You're so idiot you'd study before a blood test and still fail it.Comment
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You're so fat you'd try to eat Eminem at the Grammies.Comment
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What sound does a bouncing plane make? Boeing.Comment
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