Jokes corner

[Conjurator]

I thought reverse psychology was when you made your psychiatrist cry.

[Conjurator]

The only dates I get nowadays are software up dates.

[Conjurator]

New Years Day. Now's the best time to make your annual good resolutions. Next week you can start paving hell with them as usual.

[Conjurator]

My grilfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. I know she'd come back crawling to me.

[Conjurator]

Five secrets to successful people. 1- Don't 2- Tell 3- Anyone 4- Your 5- Secret

[Conjurator]

What food describes most college jocks? Jerky.

[Conjurator]

How do you know you're an ugly girl? When you know the price of all drinks at the bar.

[Conjurator]

The speed of light is when you take a beer out of the fridge before the light comes on.

[Conjurator]

I'm a people's person, but from a distance.

[Conjurator]

Men mostly hate two words: "not" and "enough". Unless you say them together.

[Conjurator]

What's the difference between the Pope and your boss? The pope expects you only to kiss his ring.

[Conjurator]

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

[Conjurator]

Why do I always know where I was going when I am canoeing? Because I "canoe" it.

[Conjurator]

What does Santa say when he is sick? Ho Ho No!

[Conjurator]

What's a runner favorite subject in school? Jography.

[Conjurator]

I date a zombie. So someone finally wants me for my brain. - A blonde.

[Conjurator]

Why the summer school teacher did not need sunglasses? Because the class wasn't so bright.

[Conjurator]

My teen just called child protective services because he still has an Iphone 5s.

[Conjurator]

What's the difference between a blonde and a yoghurt? The yoghurt has culture.

[Conjurator]

If your grandma says her joints are getting weaker, tell her to roll them tighter.