Jokes corner

[Conjurator]

I'm experiencing heavy call volumes. Please hang up or I'll smash them on your head.

[Conjurator]

You: "Siri, why am I still single?"
*** Siri opens front-facing camera and shows the obvious***

[Conjurator]

People are like trees, if you chop them with an axe, they die.

[Conjurator]

Behind every man's success is a woman. Behind every man's downfall usually is another woman.

[Conjurator]

I can't afford to take my kids to WaltDisney's maze this year, so I'll take them to IKEA instead.

[Conjurator]

Your face looks like something I drew with my left hand.

[Conjurator]

You want to know what "Boob" really means? "B" is the aerial view, "oo" is the front view and "b" is the side view.

[Conjurator]

What has eight arms and a total IQ of 20? Four blondes drinking.

[Conjurator]

How did the snowman lose his head? Someone sat on his face.

[Conjurator]

Make-up tip: You're not in the circus.

[Conjurator]

What do pregnant teenagers and their baby have in common? They both think my mom's going to kill me.

[Conjurator]

How do blonde braincells die? Alone.

[Conjurator]

What's the first a blonde does in the morning in front of her mirror? Introduce herself.

[Conjurator]

Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

[Conjurator]

When can you say there's a possibility that a blonde is about to say something thoughtful? When it starts by: "Somebody told me that...".

[Conjurator]

War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

[Conjurator]

Why did the female snowman delete her Tinder account? She was getting too many snow cone pictures.

[Conjurator]

My apocalypse survival plan is to die right now.

[Conjurator]

Nurse: Doctor, why is there a thermometer behind your ear?
Doctor: Damn, some asshole must have my pen!

[Conjurator]

Scooters and fat girls are both fun to ride. Until your friends see you.