Jokes corner

[Conjurator]

What travels around the world but stays in a corner? A stamp.

[Conjurator]

Squirrels. Nature's speed bumps.

[Conjurator]

In America, you'll always find a party. In USSR, the Party will always find you.

[Conjurator]

I was at an ATM and an old lady asked me to help her check her balance. I gave her a light push. She obviously had none.

[Conjurator]

What did the zero say to the eight? Nice corset!

[Conjurator]

If you must chose between two evils, at least pick the one you haven't tried before.

[Conjurator]

When there's a will... I want to be in it.

[Conjurator]

How does a farmer counts cows? With a cow-culator.

[Conjurator]

What do Michaelangelo and Hitler have in common? They both used their brain to paint a ceiling.

[Conjurator]

I wonder how many miles I've scrolled with my finger.

[Conjurator]

We need to show compassion for the mentally ill but not let them run for president.

[Conjurator]

Don't feel sad. Don't feel blue. Frankenstein was ugly too.

[Conjurator]

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go.

[Conjurator]

How do trailer trash celebrate Halloween? Pump kin.

[Conjurator]

I only drink on days beginning with T: Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tomorrow.

[Conjurator]

When you were born, your parents hit the jerkpot.

[Conjurator]

Tr*mp won't get reelected if we just stop fixing our grandparents Wifi.

[Conjurator]

What do Eskimos get from sitting on ice for too long? Polaroids.

[Conjurator]

What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A space invader.

[Conjurator]

I almost felt like a hero once when I went out looking for a lost hiker in the woods, but when I heard him yelling 'I'm here. I'm right here.', in the distance, I realized that since he knew exactly where he was, he wasn't lost, at all. So I called off the search.