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Let's go play railroad: I'll be the train, you'll be the tunnel.
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What's the best thing about being a meth addict? Only one sleep 'til Christmas.Comment
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You are the proof that girls reach puberty way before boys. Girls develop tits around the age of 13 and you, man, had to wait until 40 to develop some.Comment
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Met a nice drug dealer. Nice guy. Funny. Tells jokes. Always cracks me up.Comment
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In principle, I won't hurt you. Thing is, I don't have principles.Comment
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What's the difference between a sperm and a lawyer? None. Both have a chance in a million of being a human being.Comment
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What is an eskimo's favorite sex position? Sled-doggy style.Comment
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What do you call a dictionary using drugs? Addictionary.Comment
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For safety reasons, if your coworker has on her desk a picture of her and her dog labeled "Beauty and the beast", etiquette wants you not to ask her which one is which.Comment
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Being the stud that I am, I have to admit I sometimes hid my girlfriend's inhaler for kicks so neighbor would hear her panting and screaming "Give it to me".Comment
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My new year's resolution is to be more optimistic and keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka or whiskey.Comment
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Why can't blondes count to 70? Because 69 is quite a mouthful.Comment
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God must love stupid people, he made legions of them.Comment
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How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they'll probably just beat the room because for being black.Comment
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I hate that part of a conversation when the other person says things.Comment
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What do you call a pizza you find in a toilet? A pi'ss'a'shit.Comment
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I'm a social psychic, I can see in advance that I won't talk to you.Comment
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Yo mama's so fat, her paintball teammates hide behind her.Comment
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The only difference between the girls I dated and Tonya Harding was that Harding had at least the decency to look like a basket-case right when I first met her.Comment
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Twitter is just Linkedin for the chronically unemployed.Comment
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