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  • #41
    One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, a bottle of vodka, by three hours and a workday, by eight hours.

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    • #42
      BDSM, for IT persons, consists in configuring hard drives in the master and slave positions.

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      • #43
        I wasn't planning on giving any Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung phones.

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        • #44
          How do we call a scared gay dinosaur? A parano-sore-ass

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          • #45
            Is your make-up by Picasso?

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            • #46
              How does a blonde turn on the light in the morning? She opens the fridge door.

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              • #47
                What do you call a blonde skeleton in a closet? Last year's winner of hide-and-seek competition.

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                • #48
                  You're so fat the scale screamed 'get the fuck off'.

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                  • #49
                    Why are blondes so easy to get to bed? Who cares?

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                    • #50
                      Did you hear about the gay security guard who got fired from his job? He was caught drinking on the job at the sperm bank.

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                      • #51
                        Why do blondes wear tight miniskirts? To keep their thighs closed.

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                        • #52
                          What do you call a very short (**insert favorite ethnical humor scapegoat here**) person? By their name, you racist.

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                          • #53
                            What is the blonde's favorite fairy tale character? Humpme Dumpme.

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                            • #54
                              You are so gay your favorite game is leapfrog with unicorns.

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                              • #55
                                I'd rather have a bottle-in-front-of-me than a frontal lobotomy.

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                                • #56
                                  Why did the prostitute got fired? She screwed up big time.

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                                  • #57
                                    Staring at an eclipse without glasses is less painful than staring at your face.

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                                    • #58
                                      Attending a KISS concert with an ear stuck to the main soundboxes is less excruciating than listening to your voice.

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                                      • #59
                                        You have the special talent to actually make me mean every insults I shoot out.
                                        - A Tourette's syndrome sufferer

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                                        • #60
                                          Marijuana is illegal in prisons because it destroys cells.

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