Jokes corner

[Conjurator]

One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, a bottle of vodka, by three hours and a workday, by eight hours.

[Conjurator]

BDSM, for IT persons, consists in configuring hard drives in the master and slave positions.

[Conjurator]

I wasn't planning on giving any Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung phones.

[Conjurator]

How do we call a scared gay dinosaur? A parano-sore-ass

[Conjurator]

Is your make-up by Picasso?

[Conjurator]

How does a blonde turn on the light in the morning? She opens the fridge door.

[Conjurator]

What do you call a blonde skeleton in a closet? Last year's winner of hide-and-seek competition.

[Conjurator]

You're so fat the scale screamed 'get the fuck off'.

[Conjurator]

Why are blondes so easy to get to bed? Who cares?

[Conjurator]

Did you hear about the gay security guard who got fired from his job? He was caught drinking on the job at the sperm bank.

[Conjurator]

Why do blondes wear tight miniskirts? To keep their thighs closed.

[Conjurator]

What do you call a very short (**insert favorite ethnical humor scapegoat here**) person? By their name, you racist.

[Conjurator]

What is the blonde's favorite fairy tale character? Humpme Dumpme.

[Conjurator]

You are so gay your favorite game is leapfrog with unicorns.

[Conjurator]

I'd rather have a bottle-in-front-of-me than a frontal lobotomy.

[Conjurator]

Why did the prostitute got fired? She screwed up big time.

[Conjurator]

Staring at an eclipse without glasses is less painful than staring at your face.

[Conjurator]

Attending a KISS concert with an ear stuck to the main soundboxes is less excruciating than listening to your voice.

[Conjurator]

You have the special talent to actually make me mean every insults I shoot out.
- A Tourette's syndrome sufferer

[Conjurator]

Marijuana is illegal in prisons because it destroys cells.