Jokes corner

[Conjurator]

Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.

[Conjurator]

WHat did one boob say to the other boob. You are my breast friend.

[Conjurator]

My wife does not believe that autocorrector changed you're psychic to you're psycho.

[Conjurator]

It's a miracle! I just turned wine into barf!

[Conjurator]

I downloaded the Pinterest app and now my phone is stuck in a mason jar.

[Conjurator]

I'm at my most amazing when no one is paying attention.

[Conjurator]

Where do you find a no-legged dog? Right where you left it.

[Conjurator]

Knock knock, who's there?
-Annie.
-Annie?
-Annie body home.

[Conjurator]

I haven't been ignoring you, I have been low-prioritizing you.

[Conjurator]

New year's eve forecast: mostly drunk with a chance of passing out.

[Conjurator]

She's so ugly, if she's looking for a man to take her breath away, I hope gagging counts.

[Conjurator]

Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to whisper a secret.

[Conjurator]

What can strike a blonde without her ever knowing it? A thought.

[Conjurator]

Time is a great teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its pupils.

[Conjurator]

You're so fat you have more chins than Chinatown.

[Conjurator]

Do you want to see something really stupid? Just look in the mirror.

[Conjurator]

Marriage and smoking are similar. You start because you want to, you carry on because you have to.

[Conjurator]

Heard about the new drug for lesbians? Tricoxagain.

[Conjurator]

English can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

[Conjurator]

Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane? Because it was overbooked.