Jokes corner

[Conjurator]

A camel can work 10 days without drinking. I can drink 10 days without working.

[Conjurator]

My doctor said I have the body of a 25 year-old. I had to kill him and bury him next to it, this way, he can't spill the beans about that.

[Conjurator]

I'm not an alcoholic. An alcoholic needs a drink. I already have one.

[Conjurator]

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're feeling much better now.

[Conjurator]

Don't forget that alcohol helps remove stress, bra, panties and other life's problems.

[Conjurator]

Why name hurricanes lame names like Sandy? Name them Fricking Hurricane Death Megatron 3000 and I guarantee people will evacuate like they should.

[Conjurator]

Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm.

[Conjurator]

What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? They both swallowed a lot of seamen.

[Conjurator]

Wine improves with age, you improve with wine.

[Conjurator]

For the last time, stop asking me if I'm Drunk! I'm not Drunk. Who in hell would name their child Drunk?!

[Conjurator]

What's the difference between a blonde and a Lamborghini? You don't let your friends borrow the Lamborghini.

[Conjurator]

I drank so much. When I die, I'll donate my liver to science fiction.

[Conjurator]

If I wanted your opinion, I would give it to you.

[Conjurator]

Friend: "I don't want to bore you with my problems, but..."
Me: "GOOD! Thank you."

[Conjurator]

So after the beating the crap out of that nerdy kid who always gets answers right, I went back to the front of the classroom and resumed teaching.

[Conjurator]

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. But roses are wilting, violets are dead, sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

[Conjurator]

I called the Child Abuse Hotline. A rude kid answered, called me an hopeless fat cunt and told me to f*ck off. So... as advertised, 5-stars rating, thank you.

[Conjurator]

Boy: "Is playing the organ a sin, father?
Priest: "No. As long as it has keys."

[Conjurator]

Want to know if I'm coming or going? Easy, sperm is white and pee is yellow.

[Conjurator]

Let's pretend you and I are squirrels and I bust my nuts in your hole?