How do you effectively build and maintain a roster of men?

[Theogqueen]

I have officially deleted Bumble as of yesterday. Partially because these men online aren't exciting me and I realized that I was only on there out of pure boredom. I deactivated all my social media and have been off for 3 weeks now, so I needed some sort of attention, LOL. But I have a target and he's helped me get rid of these dating apps since scoring him is my goal. It's actually a motivator for me, haha. I know this sounds weird on the outside looking in but I'm not sure how to explain it without giving myself away.

A lot of men no longer put in effort because women are okay with accepting the bare minimum. A lot of this shit is the fault of women with low standards. When you meet enough women who are okay with having drinks and pretending it's a date, you're going to put two and two together and think this is what most women want these days. Cheap women ruin it for the rest of us who appreciate effort. BUT it also helps cut out the wrong guys.

You’re motivating me. I don’t have any targets currently but a big part of me wants to delete all my dating apps. I just have OKC and bumble. But it’s boding and I’m only on for attention. I know the guys I like aren’t on there but always have a glimmer of hope. It just doesn’t work. Instead I’ll focus on just putting myself out there more in person. I don’t have a 9-5 so I have plenty of time to explore new places and hang out in cute lobbies and bars.

Good of luck with that target tho!

Yes cheap women have ruined it. We as women teach the world how to love us and they’ve been setting some bad standards and now I’m called high maintenance because I say no to dive bar meetups (I don’t even drink ugh)

[colorfulaura]

You’re motivating me. I don’t have any targets currently but a big part of me wants to delete all my dating apps. I just have OKC and bumble. But it’s boding and I’m only on for attention. I know the guys I like aren’t on there but always have a glimmer of hope. It just doesn’t work. Instead I’ll focus on just putting myself out there more in person. I don’t have a 9-5 so I have plenty of time to explore new places and hang out in cute lobbies and bars.

Good of luck with that target tho!

Yes cheap women have ruined it. We as women teach the world how to love us and they’ve been setting some bad standards and now I’m called high maintenance because I say no to dive bar meetups (I don’t even drink ugh)

The drink dates are low effort but I can't stand anything more than coffee "dates." It's like meeting up for a job interview for a real date.

[Theogqueen]

The drink dates are low effort but I can't stand anything more than coffee "dates." It's like meeting up for a job interview for a real date.

Coffee and tea dates are better. Or tapas but sitting at the bar so it’s a little more low pressure and not as you said like a job interview haha. Drink dates are “I’m trying to get you drunk and loose so I get you in bed quickly and easily without having to spend too much time and effort on you.” It’s a step above Netflix and chill.

[Ildergreier]

The IG generation has made finding a man a lot worse than it needs to be.

[colorfulaura]

Coffee and tea dates are better. Or tapas but sitting at the bar so it’s a little more low pressure and not as you said like a job interview haha. Drink dates are “I’m trying to get you drunk and loose so I get you in bed quickly and easily without having to spend too much time and effort on you.” It’s a step above Netflix and chill.

If it's a bar restaurant you can gauge them by ordering food with your drinks. Drink dates are more unclear because it can turn into a dinner date but it'll depend on the man. I was watching a video of a dating coach who uses drink dates as tests. She'll ask the guy about the food on the menu and if the guy says something like "I'm not hungry" to push her to drinks she gets up and leaves.

[Theogqueen]

If it's a bar restaurant you can gauge them by ordering food with your drinks. Drink dates are more unclear because it can turn into a dinner date but it'll depend on the man. I was watching a video of a dating coach who uses drink dates as tests. She'll ask the guy about the food on the menu and if the guy says something like "I'm not hungry" to push her to drinks she gets up and leaves.

Like straight up leaves? Lol and who is this coach I’d love to watch her videos. I had a guy do that. We went on a double date to what was more of a barcade type thing but when I got there he kept giving us cash to get drinks because they were a dollar for ladies night. First strike but no big deal taking advantage of the happy hour I GUESS. Then when I asked about food he was like “I’m not hungry.” (Like ok I didn’t ask if you’re hungry I said I’m ready to eat lol)But I was, so I asked for a menu. He had the nerve to be like “oh am I buying you food?” After buying nonstop alcohol for 2 hours lol. Then of course got upset when I was ready to go home to sleep (id had a long day) instead of go home with him.

[Vicki Lee]

He had the nerve to be like “oh am I buying you food?” After buying nonstop alcohol for 2 hours lol.

My reaction:


Ohhhh you tryna get me loose, LOOSE.

Some similar shit happened to me.... Dude more than likely saw me pay for the food (error on my part), But apparently had all the money in the world to keep buying me shots of 1800 tho.... G.L. Lambert said no liquor on the first date, now next time I know better... Never again.

Someone had written an article about the problematic promotion of "ladies drink free" nights... Like literally those nights are perfect for predators looking for prey if you think about it. Think about how many young 21 year old girls go out, get cute, proably don't have a clique of friends, then a dude comes over and gas them up, and liquor them up... You catch the drift. Those are the nights IMO are for you and your girlfriends, I will never be on the look out for a dude under those cirumstances. That's why in the club scene we as women need to link up together even if we don't know each other because men don't give a damn.

(sorry if I went far left with it, lol it's been on my mind lately)

[colorfulaura]

Like straight up leaves? Lol and who is this coach I’d love to watch her videos. I had a guy do that. We went on a double date to what was more of a barcade type thing but when I got there he kept giving us cash to get drinks because they were a dollar for ladies night. First strike but no big deal taking advantage of the happy hour I GUESS. Then when I asked about food he was like “I’m not hungry.” (Like ok I didn’t ask if you’re hungry I said I’m ready to eat lol)But I was, so I asked for a menu. He had the nerve to be like “oh am I buying you food?” After buying nonstop alcohol for 2 hours lol. Then of course got upset when I was ready to go home to sleep (id had a long day) instead of go home with him.

Jesus what a loser! And yep she does leave! But she'll pretend to use the bathroom and leave him waiting LMAO.
I think it was this video:

[Muestereate]

She set off my red flag so I just clicked the stop button, and now I'm going to the bathroom. lol.

[Muestereate]

I saw a red flag of mine the other day. She looked deeply into my eyes and they were not dilated despite her enrapturement with me. Instead, her pupils were like pinpoints. Heroin. Asked around because other people had noticed the hit too, Newly widowed from a heroin overdosing husband. GTFO now Muestereate.

[lafemme]

You’re motivating me. I don’t have any targets currently but a big part of me wants to delete all my dating apps. I just have OKC and bumble. But it’s boding and I’m only on for attention. I know the guys I like aren’t on there but always have a glimmer of hope. It just doesn’t work. Instead I’ll focus on just putting myself out there more in person. I don’t have a 9-5 so I have plenty of time to explore new places and hang out in cute lobbies and bars.

Good of luck with that target tho!

Yes cheap women have ruined it. We as women teach the world how to love us and they’ve been setting some bad standards and now I’m called high maintenance because I say no to dive bar meetups (I don’t even drink ugh)

The apps that have been the most successful for me have been Hinge and Raya; perhaps you'd try those out??

And yes, please try meeting men out in public instead. Are you often high glam when you go out? I've toned mine down a few pegs, and men out in the wild react to me in a much more positive and verbose way; strange, but less is attracting more; for me.

[Vicki Lee]

Jesus what a loser! And yep she does leave! But she'll pretend to use the bathroom and leave him waiting LMAO.
I think it was this video:

I love Mikki Pink! ????

[Theogqueen]

The apps that have been the most successful for me have been Hinge and Raya; perhaps you'd try those out??

And yes, please try meeting men out in public instead. Are you often high glam when you go out? I've toned mine down a few pegs, and men out in the wild react to me in a much more positive and verbose way; strange, but less is attracting more; for me.

Well I don’t consider it high glam, I only wear black dresses and have toned it down to flats. I don’t even wear full face makeup anymore! I hate wearing pants but I wear FN high waisted jeans with a body suit but I’m in Florida and it’s about 90 degrees 90% humidity every day ???? but in The Tao of Dating he did say to dress to the 7’s not the 9’s

[Theogqueen]

My reaction:


Ohhhh you tryna get me loose, LOOSE.

Some similar shit happened to me.... Dude more than likely saw me pay for the food (error on my part), But apparently had all the money in the world to keep buying me shots of 1800 tho.... G.L. Lambert said no liquor on the first date, now next time I know better... Never again.

Someone had written an article about the problematic promotion of "ladies drink free" nights... Like literally those nights are perfect for predators looking for prey if you think about it. Think about how many young 21 year old girls go out, get cute, proably don't have a clique of friends, then a dude comes over and gas them up, and liquor them up... You catch the drift. Those are the nights IMO are for you and your girlfriends, I will never be on the look out for a dude under those cirumstances. That's why in the club scene we as women need to link up together even if we don't know each other because men don't give a damn.

(sorry if I went far left with it, lol it's been on my mind lately)

Yes I read something that said when ladies drink free, we are the product. I always think of that now lol. And yes liquor on dates is so bad and you can tell a guy’s intention by how hard he pushes it. I love that about not being a drinker, it really eliminates a lot of guys haha

[Isis]

Yes !! Like lafemme mentioned. Hinge has more quality men, and i noticed the same with coffee meets bagel.

I did meet my new boo on okc though !

[Vicki Lee]

Yes !! Like lafemme mentioned. Hinge has more quality men, and i noticed the same with coffee meets bagel.

I did meet my new boo on okc though !

New boo?

[Isis]

???? same one. He's new to me. I been single for 4 years lmao

[Ildergreier]

Yes !! Like lafemme mentioned. Hinge has more quality men, and i noticed the same with coffee meets bagel.

I did meet my new boo on okc though !

Another one?

[Isis]

Haha ! No, same one

[Ildergreier]

Isis Ok.

[colorfulaura]

Hinge seems to have the most interesting pool of men. I use the League but it's overrated at least in my area. Same dudes on Tinder.

[Mysticbeauty]

Your list reminds me of my husband manifestation list. I was extremely specific because I'll never forget reading how someone manifested the perfect man... but he was gay! LOL. So now I say "is heterosexual" & "was born a man." I do not need any surprises or complications.

I'm going to make breaded chicken breast and eat it with the rest of my angel hair pasta w/ shrimp.
This is what I made a few nights ago:

Chicken Alfredo Fettuccine


I'm just going to make the chicken again.

I actually found that my man manifestation worked better when I included myself and how I want to be in the relationship and how we relate to each other, instead of specific traits (not saying you did that, but I have in the past) I really wrote out how he treats me, how I treat him, the activities we do together, values etc. Not only have I rose more to the occasion, because I realized I wasn't everything I envisioned quite yet, but also it was flexible enough to let more prospects come into my atmosphere. I just looked at one from 2016 and the guy I'm with now could easily fit my ideal relationship scenario.

[Mysticbeauty]

Yes I read something that said when ladies drink free, we are the product. I always think of that now lol. And yes liquor on dates is so bad and you can tell a guy’s intention by how hard he pushes it. I love that about not being a drinker, it really eliminates a lot of guys haha

Yes alot of dudes didn't get far with me because I don't drink.