Do you find it hard to make lady friends?

[OutspokenOne]

Right! I feel you! Honestly if it wasn't for contacts and braces I don't know if I'd be getting the privilege! I have worse eyes than some 80 year Olds. It ain't right!

Oh yes I feel you on that, I have shitty eyes (been wearing glasses since the 4th grade). If I couldn't wear contacts, I wouldn't be able to hypnotize men with my seductive eyes

[Mysticbeauty]

Yeah I kinda don't like when women just others regarding what they do or how they act in their romantic relationships. Yeah some women do dumb shit but I think it's just being naive as well as being blinded by love that they make those decisions. Instead of tearing women down, we should encourage them to have courage and self love that can help them get out of useless/toxic relationships.

Yes! Absolutely. You said it better than I was going to! I just think back when I was doing dumb shit, settling for less than my worth:I was judging myself so hard, I already assumed every one else was judging me as well. I needed tough love but a hug at the same time ya know! I didn't have the courage back then, and I'm pretty smart. Even smart women can act a fool. I agree it's so important to encourage and help each other empower ourselves!

[Mysticbeauty]

I agree! You may not have a lot in common with someone at first but you never know what you could have in common with them down the road. Also it's good to get to know/work with people who are different than you. It can change your perspective on some things.

Not every one is ready to just show you every thing right away either. We've all been burned and I feel like even with friendships some women aren't going to just put it all on the table right away. It takes time and trust. Things come out eventually. Yes there are soo many perspectives!

[OutspokenOne]

Yes! Absolutely. You said it better than I was going to! I just think back when I was doing dumb shit, settling for less than my worth:I was judging myself so hard, I already assumed every one else was judging me as well. I needed tough love but a hug at the same time ya know! I didn't have the courage back then, and I'm pretty smart. Even smart women can act a fool. I agree it's so important to encourage and help each other empower ourselves!

I totally know where you're coming from. When I was 22-24 (still currently 24), there was this one guy I kept giving a chance but with other dudes, I would cut them off immediately the minute they did disrespectful shit. Anywho, I was really forgiving with this guy. And when I told people about him, I would get judged so hard so I stopped talking to people about it. Which wasn't a good idea because I would bottle up all the hurt/thoughts I had about him and become obsessive. It wasn't until I spoke to my therapist about him, that I was able to move on. She didn't insult me or made me feel stupid however she was real with me and told me why he shouldn't be in my life. Had I had another woman who helped me out that same way, I probably would have got over the guy sooner.

We've all acted a fool for men, it's nothing to be ashamed about. We just didn't know any better. Now to continuously be a fool after being warned multiple times...that's not something I can defend.

[OutspokenOne]

Not every one is ready to just show you every thing right away either. We've all been burned and I feel like even with friendships some women aren't going to just put it all on the table right away. It takes time and trust. Things come out eventually. Yes there are soo many perspectives!

Very good points made. Like I say, it's always wiser to be open-minded

[Mysticbeauty]

Oh yes I feel you on that, I have shitty eyes (been wearing glasses since the 4th grade). If I couldn't wear contacts, I wouldn't be able to hypnotize men with my seductive eyes

Glad you get it! Lol

[Mysticbeauty]

I totally know where you're coming from. When I was 22-24 (still currently 24), there was this one guy I kept giving a chance but with other dudes, I would cut them off immediately the minute they did disrespectful shit. Anywho, I was really forgiving with this guy. And when I told people about him, I would get judged so hard so I stopped talking to people about it. Which wasn't a good idea because I would bottle up all the hurt/thoughts I had about him and become obsessive. It wasn't until I spoke to my therapist about him, that I was able to move on. She didn't insult me or made me feel stupid however she was real with me and told me why he shouldn't be in my life. Had I had another woman who helped me out that same way, I probably would have got over the guy sooner.

We've all acted a fool for men, it's nothing to be ashamed about. We just didn't know any better. Now to continuously be a fool after being warned multiple times...that's not something I can defend.

Yes same thing happened to me. I started being so embarrassed and ashamed that I was with hi., I stopped talking to my friends about him. I know that's a warning sign now. I know now that no human is worth losing my dignity for. I wish I would have gone to therapy. That was smart of you! I wish I knew in my 20's what I know now. I'm 31 and I LOVE MY THIRTIES. so if you have that mindset now all the power to you! That makes me happy!

[Cheerio]

Yes there is definitely a "pretty privledge". I usually get along with most men too because they find me attractive and a bunch of other things.

Exactly. Men are nice to you depending on how attractive you are, lol. It's bad but it's true.

I have a hard time hiding my emotions from my face.

Me too! As much as it's hard to admit, lol. My personality is great, but my face doesn't show it.

Even reading women on here spending extra time and energy on a guy, who isn't reciprocating is hard to read.

Tell me about it. I've learned to just keep my comments to myself at this point. Just generally hearing about the kinds of things women are settling for is... unsettling for me bc women are meant to be choosy.

It can change your perspective on some things.

They definitely won't be changing my perspective on splitting bills, LOL.

[Cheerio]

We've all been burned

I have been way too many times to the point I just tread lightly and maybe I automatically distance myself from other women. But over and over again, I realize how much I get along sooo much better with older women than young.

[OutspokenOne]

They definitely won't be changing my perspective on splitting bills, LOL.

Yeah it doesn't have to be about that, but they can give you different perspectives on other areas of life. You never know.

[Cheerio]

Yeah it doesn't have to be about that, but they can give you different perspectives on other areas of life. You never know.

I guess. The only thing they really changed my perspective on is where to move around NYC (I was very strict on only Manhattan). But as far as relationship stuff, I've learned that that is not a topic I want to discuss with anyone who isn't close to me or whose beliefs don't align with mine because not many women are aiming to marry monied men and a whole lot of women are into splitting bills, etc.

This might sound bad but I am more likely to want to take advice from someone way older than I am than someone who is also in their 20s. Only because most of the things I know now have come from women who've already experienced life. I don't want advice from anyone who isn't living the life I want to live or hasn't experienced much. These two girls are 24 & 27. They may be good for fun conversations like travels and vacation, but idk how likely I am to consider anything deeper than that. Just my experience.

[Mysticbeauty]

I have been way too many times to the point I just tread lightly and maybe I automatically distance myself from other women. But over and over again, I realize how much I get along sooo much better with older women than young.

Yes I prefer older woman, BUT I've had many younger women surprise me, so I stay open minded. I've met immature older women and super mature younger women. You just never know.

[Cheerio]

Yes I prefer older woman, BUT I've had many younger women surprise me, so I stay open minded. I've met immature older women and super mature younger women. You just never know.

Honestly, I think I'm not too sold on that idea because of the little petty incident that occurred yesterday with the 24 speaking aloud about a problem her friend was having with an ex-gf that he was basically spoiling. I don't really know if I believe in coincidences. I did notice the girl she was talking to barely said anything and tried to respond in a way that sounded like she agreed w/ her but also didn't want no problems, like responding under her breath. I'm not at all surprised it's the younger girl who was being Ms. Petty Betty. I'm more likely to want to chat with the other girl (who is 27) than the younger girl. She sounded extra salty.

But also, all the women I've been burned by were younger than I was which makes me believe I'm not at all compatible with anyone younger than I am.

[OutspokenOne]

Yes same thing happened to me. I started being so embarrassed and ashamed that I was with hi., I stopped talking to my friends about him. I know that's a warning sign now. I know now that no human is worth losing my dignity for. I wish I would have gone to therapy. That was smart of you! I wish I knew in my 20's what I know now. I'm 31 and I LOVE MY THIRTIES. so if you have that mindset now all the power to you! That makes me happy!

It's a warning sign but however I think it's still healthy to talk to someone about what you're going through even if it's embarrassing. It's really about the constructive criticism they give and if they can't give it, well there is no use in speaking to them about it then.

We live and we learn. Thank you! I loved therapy! I miss my therapist actually, she was great to talk to. It's probably one of the best decisions I made in my 20s.

[Mysticbeauty]

Not every relation ship fits in the same box. I know some woman who are with men who pay all the bills thos men also use that as power against them. I don't know them enough to know if the signs were there before they got married or not. I also know couples where the guy pays for everything and he's a nice guy but lacks in other areas. I know couples where they both work and they have a great relationship and some that don't. I definitely see the appeal in money and security and I don't want to ever be in a relationship where I feel like I have another child to take care of, but at the same time money could be gone in a second and then what's left? Is there substance, connection, love, in that relationship? People get married and enter partnerships for different reasons, as long as both partners are aware it's not a big deal. But I think there are alot of unsaid assumptions/expectations on both ends.
My point is good relationship advice can come in all shapes, forms, and dollar amounts.
The relationship you see on the outside isn't the best picture of what's going on behind closed doors.

[Mysticbeauty]

Honestly, I think I'm not too sold on that idea because of the little petty incident that occurred yesterday with the 24 speaking aloud about a problem her friend was having with an ex-gf that he was basically spoiling. I don't really know if I believe in coincidences. I did notice the girl she was talking to barely said anything and tried to respond in a way that sounded like she agreed w/ her but also didn't want no problems, like responding under her breath. I'm not at all surprised it's the younger girl who was being Ms. Petty Betty. I'm more likely to want to chat with the other girl (who is 27) than the younger girl. She sounded extra salty.

But also, all the women I've been burned by were younger than I was which makes me believe I'm not at all compatible with anyone younger than I am.

Yeah I don't go searching for younger people to hang out with. I assume we don't have things in common, but the ones that show up in my life, I'm open to it because they've surprised me.
And that's work, work honestly is like high school half the time. People are bored with their lives and like to gossip, that's going to be every where. Sometimes you get lucky and it's not, but I usually just expect it. Even if they love their lives outside of work, people like to make the day more enjoyable and people like drama. Me not so much, but most people do, they thrive on it, it's exciting to them, and they can still get away with it while getting a paycheck.
Work is more fun with friends but it's not required ya know?
????

[OutspokenOne]

Yes I prefer older woman, BUT I've had many younger women surprise me, so I stay open minded. I've met immature older women and super mature younger women. You just never know.

Very true! I like your mindset, I agree with a lot of the posts you've made in this thread haha

[Mysticbeauty]

Cheerio Also older women can gossip even harder if they choose too. With that experience comes alot to shit talk about. Age doesn't equal maturity unfortunately.
Though, like I said I prefer women older than me. Just have an open heart and mind to attract the right people to you and go on with you life smiling and having fun;you'll run into them!

[OutspokenOne]

People always gossip at work. It's nothing new. Now when people go to work to intimidate/bully others, that's an issue and something I don't take lightly. People who do that are miserable and come to work to do that shit.

[Cheerio]

Cheerio Also older women can gossip even harder if they choose too. With that experience comes alot to shit talk about. Age doesn't equal maturity unfortunately.
Though, like I said I prefer women older than me. Just have an open heart and mind to attract the right people to you and go on with you life smiling and having fun;you'll run into them!

Thankfully, I haven't met any older women who gossip because they're just too busy living their lives. This doesn't mean they don't gossip with their other friends, lol. Just not to me.

I'll try to move forward with an open mind. I came into this job with an open mind and it slowly started to diminish once I realized I was being "left out." It's weird to me how things changed quickly. I'm only a month in, so there's still time!

When I went to Charlotte for work, one of the girls actually messaged me saying she missed me in the office, lol. I think I feel this way for a couple of reasons:
1) My pheromones might be affecting their natural reactions to me... they feel weird emotions + can't explain it (I can, it's the mones)
2) Mercury Retrograde (lmao)
3) I'm afraid because I've been burned plenty times before and have had enough
4) They are hot and cold with me

I have spent soooo much time really thinking about these things, in general. At some point, I wondered if I was autistic or something, lol.