Do you find it hard to make lady friends?

[Cheerio]

Also, this is more of a reason why I need to be a CEO. I don't want to deal with bitter ass, jealous ass women.

[Ildergreier]

Never believe men is easier to be social with.

[Mysticbeauty]

Never believe men is easier to be social with.

Yes men have their own issues as well. They get moody, just like women and some need their ego stroked or won't like being under a woman. There is always going to be personality conflicts no matter where or who you are.

[Mysticbeauty]

Also, this is more of a reason why I need to be a CEO. I don't want to deal with bitter ass, jealous ass women.

Also they will be even more jealous when you are CEO.

[Mysticbeauty]

Ladies, now that I've been at my job for almost a month, I made a couple of observations

- Women gravitate towards those who don't make them feel threatened. I find myself wanting to be alone most of time. Even though I do want to make friends, I don't get that vibe from some of the other girls (but the amount of girls who are "nice" to me is higher than those who pretend I don't exist)
- This was a hard one for me to admit, but women who aren't feminine + don't put effort into their appearances really dislike those who do. I wear heels, dresses, and stylish clothes very often in the office and the girls I started with come in with jeans, etc. The Asian girl sorta exudes masculine/alpha energy, and the Latina doesn't. I think she has a unique look to her. She isn't ugly. But looking at her IG, it's full of insecurities bc all hre pics are filtered (like those obvious flower filters, etc).
- I really can't become friends with women whose values do not align with mine because I can't relate to their stories. For instance, there were three new recruiters (me, an Asian girl, and a Latina). Both of them have boyfriends that they live with + split bills with. Y'all know me. I can't relate to that shit, lmao & I'm not sharing my views in the workplace -- however, the Latina follows me on Instagram so she knows where I stand. The Asian girl said once that she is a strong independent woman. Funny how society makes you believe that all Asian women want to be SAHM/housewives + are "smarter" than Black women in terms of things they tolerate from men. Yeah, Black women definitely have work to do, but this shows you that these generalizations are ridiculous.
- However, the other girls are generally nice and they always smile at me when they see me. But the one girl who interviewed me treats me like a complete stranger, lmao. I wonder if she felt offended that I didn't even remember who she was when I started. Or maybe she just has RBF or is just stressed out from all the work she's been doing. She is a Senior Recruiter after all.

It really pains me to say these things but you know when you can feel the energy in the room and you know there's tension there? I literally just exist (and look good doing it) and have noticed yet again, being shunned. The Asian girl's desk is next to the door and as I was walking out, I saw that her and the Latina took pics together in the photobooth. They usually leave the room together, etc. I kinda feel like because they have more experience than me w/ recruiting tied w/ the fact that I was really struggling with my manager (I switched managers, woohoo), they felt above me. And this always happens, like clockwork, where people judge me in the present, based on whatever struggle I'm experiencing, and then their tune changes once I start excelling. This is literally a play by play of what happened w/ the internship. At that time, I struggled with money so they felt better than me, and now their tune has completely changed from wanting to celebrate my bday with me, telling me that they "thought we were close friends," etc. Also, another worst thing to admit is that I get along very well with the guys. I don't talk to them much, but they are so much easier to talk to... because they aren't competing with me! Women are so socially inferior, goodness.

So quick question. Are you smiling at these women? How is your energy coming off? If you are already feeling like you have nothing in common with them, they are probably feeling that from you. I definitely get wanting to be around people who think and behave like you, but just remember there is a bunch of stuff that connects you with these women whether either of you are aware of it or not.
And don't think for a a second that those guys will be rooting for you if you excel above them.
There is always some common ground.

[Ildergreier]

Yes men have their own issues as well. They get moody, just like women and some need their ego stroked or won't like being under a woman. There is always going to be personality conflicts no matter where or who you are.

Exctly.
Men has huge egoes where women tends to get jealous.

[Ildergreier]

Anyway, judging people by their clothes is something you should not do. A good wardrobe is expensive, no matter the style you like.

[Mysticbeauty]

Anyway, judging people by their clothes is something you should not do. A good wardrobe is expensive, no matter the style you like.

Also even if you are just thinking it, they can probably feel it and it's playing on their insecurities.
EVERYONE HAS INSECURITIES!

[Mysticbeauty]

Also in terms of clothing, if you feel you put in more effort, it's probably more that they are intimidated than jealous.
That's happened to me and I forget all the time I can be intimidating, but then I smile or I'm kind to someone and their guard is let down a bit.

[Blackpool]

Definitely agree here. They might be intimidated.

[Ildergreier]

Also in terms of clothing, if you feel you put in more effort, it's probably more that they are intimidated than jealous.
That's happened to me and I forget all the time I can be intimidating, but then I smile or I'm kind to someone and their guard is let down a bit.

I am in my forties, so I do not care that much about other womens clothes. We have a dress code in our office though, and everybody is slaying it. Can perhaps be intimidating for visitors.

[Cheerio]

Are you smiling at these women?

Always smiling + saying hi. However, I was told by the Asian girl that I have resting bitch face but this was when I was also focused on doing my work and not talking to anyone in the office.

How is your energy coming off?

Thanks for really making me think about myself + the energy I'm giving off. The same Asian girl who told me I have RBF also asked me one day if I'm okay because I looked like I'm tired of life, lol. This was also during the time I felt stuck with my manager and she wasn't being communicative to me.

If you are already feeling like you have nothing in common with them, they are probably feeling that from you.

Probably! I don't remember where I posted it but that Latina girl speaking aloud about the whole boyfriend who spends money on his gf thing really rubbed me the wrong way. What are the chances that she's also the youngest of all 3 of us. That just screamed immaturity to me.

And don't think for a a second that those guys will be rooting for you if you excel above them.

Well, the girl who is managing me is a friggin' powerhouse. They all get along with her and like her as well. She's also very sassy. I like her, lol.

[Blackpool]

Kill them with kindess! If you don't like that... When everyone likes you, it will make them look bad.

[Cheerio]

Never believe men is easier to be social with.

When you're pretty, men are usually easier to socialize with. They are easier to talk to (for me). But also, our conversations haven't been "deep" or anything like that. Actually, I've noticed the Asian girl's manager is sorta starting to ignore me as well, LOL. But yesterday was an interesting day. It was off.

lso they will be even more jealous when you are CEO.

I believe it 100%.

People want to see you doing well, but not better than them.

[Mysticbeauty]

When you're pretty, men are usually easier to socialize with. They are easier to talk to (for me). But also, our conversations haven't been "deep" or anything like that. Actually, I've noticed the Asian girl's manager is sorta starting to ignore me as well, LOL. But yesterday was an interesting day. It was off.


I believe it 100%.

People want to see you doing well, but not better than them.

Yes there is definitely a "pretty privledge". I usually get along with most men too because they find me attractive and a bunch of other things.

[Mysticbeauty]

Always smiling + saying hi. However, I was told by the Asian girl that I have resting bitch face but this was when I was also focused on doing my work and not talking to anyone in the office.


Thanks for really making me think about myself + the energy I'm giving off. The same Asian girl who told me I have RBF also asked me one day if I'm okay because I looked like I'm tired of life, lol. This was also during the time I felt stuck with my manager and she wasn't being communicative to me.


Probably! I don't remember where I posted it but that Latina girl speaking aloud about the whole boyfriend who spends money on his gf thing really rubbed me the wrong way. What are the chances that she's also the youngest of all 3 of us. That just screamed immaturity to me.


Well, the girl who is managing me is a friggin' powerhouse. They all get along with her and like her as well. She's also very sassy. I like her, lol.

I'm glad you didn't take it offensively. I have to check myself all the time because I have RBF,but like you said sometimes it's just something on your mind that you are focused on. I have a hard time hiding my emotions from my face. I'm always making crazy faces lol. It is hard to hear certain things from young women, I totally get that. Even reading women on here spending extra time and energy on a guy, who isn't reciprocating is hard to read. At the same time though, we've all done things we wish we could change or that we've learned from. So it's best to be compassionate, because we've all been there in one way or another.

[Mysticbeauty]

We are all very different on here, yet we all have connected over pheromones! There is so many little things like that, which connect us with others, and we overlook them.

[OutspokenOne]

Yes men have their own issues as well. They get moody, just like women and some need their ego stroked or won't like being under a woman. There is always going to be personality conflicts no matter where or who you are.

Sometimes men can be worse than women. No sex is better/friendlier than the other.

[Blackpool]

Amen to that.

[OutspokenOne]

Yes there is definitely a "pretty privledge". I usually get along with most men too because they find me attractive and a bunch of other things.

I have a love and hate relationship with pretty privilege. However I still love benefiting from it though

[OutspokenOne]

I'm glad you didn't take it offensively. I have to check myself all the time because I have RBF,but like you said sometimes it's just something on your mind that you are focused on. I have a hard time hiding my emotions from my face. I'm always making crazy faces lol. It is hard to hear certain things from young women, I totally get that. Even reading women on here spending extra time and energy on a guy, who isn't reciprocating is hard to read. At the same time though, we've all done things we wish we could change or that we've learned from. So it's best to be compassionate, because we've all been there in one way or another.

Yeah I kinda don't like when women just others regarding what they do or how they act in their romantic relationships. Yeah some women do dumb shit but I think it's just being naive as well as being blinded by love that they make those decisions. Instead of tearing women down, we should encourage them to have courage and self love that can help them get out of useless/toxic relationships.

[Mysticbeauty]

I have a love and hate relationship with pretty privilege. However I still love benefiting from it though

Right! I feel you! Honestly if it wasn't for contacts and braces I don't know if I'd be getting the privilege! I have worse eyes than some 80 year Olds. It ain't right!

[OutspokenOne]

We are all very different on here, yet we all have connected over pheromones! There is so many little things like that, which connect us with others, and we overlook them.

I agree! You may not have a lot in common with someone at first but you never know what you could have in common with them down the road. Also it's good to get to know/work with people who are different than you. It can change your perspective on some things.