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  • Do you find it hard to make lady friends?

    As you know, I'm creating an app specifically for women to make friends and network with each other. I came up with this idea for a couple of reasons, but the main reason is that it's just so hard for women to make friends! Women aren't very nice to each other because of this imaginary competition (for men, careers, etc)! The only girl I can say that I've been friends with for a "long" time is the girl I wrote about in my journal. She's younger than I am, and it almost made us not compatible. She's ask me for advice and turn around and keep making stupid decisions. At some point, I felt like I was wasting my energy on her and we fell out and now we're friends again, but it's different this time bc I'm learning who she is and I'm learning that she's still learning and if I do make the choice to stay friends with her, then I'll need patience. We all have that one friend who does not always listen to us, lol. However, when we became friends again, she told me how much she's learned from me and I'm glad she's started becoming ruthless with men now (haha). I find that I get along better with older women. I also find myself getting along much better with women who follow hypergamous ideas. The last thing I need is someone in my friendship circle telling me I should only marry for love, lol. It's all an interesting phenomenon.

    Anyway, one of my reasons for going to a lot of events is to make friends. Although some girls seem enthusiastic about meeting up again in the near future, they never follow up. I'll admit, it's also pride on my part that if someone isn't texting me, then i'm not going to text them until I see that it is a mutual thing. But it's hard to tell in the beginning. They appear to be responsive when I try to make conversation, but sometimes I wonder if they're just in the moment. I've also wondered if it's because I don't live in the city and so they feel that they shouldn't even try building a friendship with me? I remember doing an internship at the U.N. only a year ago and every single one of them shunned me from the group. Now, they're watching me on social media + trying to get back into my good graces once they realized what I'm about. It's always interesting to see how people are quick to push you to the side when they think you can't do anything for them, and then their behaviors towards you change when they realize you've become somebody they're going to want to know. Last year, around my birthday, the ring leader of it all (who is actually the first girl that I met in the internship, she's Nigerian), sent the group chat (which had been inactive for a while) saying that this was the time when we developed a friendship and that we should celebrate my birthday together. I ignored it. I'm not down with that. One of the brown girls hated me. The guy she was sleeping with was going to a basketball game with us, and since they've shunned me from all group outings previously, he hadn't seen me in a while. He was making small talk... until she literally came from the other side of the train to put his arm around him, walk back to the other interns, and then walked back over again. It was as crazy as it sounds! I have never experienced such thing in my life with a group of people.

    Do you find it hard to make lady friends or have you gotten lucky in that department? What kind of women do you find yourself getting along with much better?
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  • #2
    Originally posted by Cheerio View Post
    Do you find it hard to make lady friends or have you gotten lucky in that department?
    I was unlucky before, because of the causes you tell about, now there isn't much of that anymore.

    Originally posted by Cheerio View Post
    What kind of women do you find yourself getting along with much better?

    Women with other goals then just being someones wife and mother.
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    • #3
      Originally posted by Ildergreier View Post

      I was unlucky before, because of the causes you tell about, now there isn't much of that anymore.



      Women with other goals then just being someones wife and mother.
      Do you find that making friends gets better with age?

      I told my sisters, who are in high school, that the friends they have now may not be the same friends they're going to graduate high school with and they might not even be the same friends they have when they're in their senior year of college.
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      • #4
        Originally posted by Cheerio View Post
        Do you find that making friends gets better with age?
        Yes, since I now make friends through mutual interests and not through school, like it was when I was young.

        Originally posted by Cheerio View Post
        I told my sisters, who are in high school, that the friends they have now may not be the same friends they're going to graduate high school with and they might not even be the same friends they have when they're in their senior year of college.

        Smart.
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        • #5
          Originally posted by Ildergreier View Post
          Yes, since I now make friends through mutual interests and not through school, like it was when I was young.
          Bingo!

          Although, someone did tell me that I'd make close friends in graduate school and while that was actually going well, she recently distanced herself from me out of nowhere in March. I didn't try to talk to her because I've gotten tired of becoming friends with people only for it to not work out. I've contacted mediums and psychics about this and they're all telling me the same thing. I originally thought that it was because we were just getting so busy and stressed out with our thesis papers, but she'd be on social media hanging out with her "regular" friends, I guess. The first time I texted her in a while was the day of graduation because her and this other girl I sat next to (who I actually just found out her brother is verified on IG bc he's a football player -- but that's a discussion for another time lmao) didn't see her and the ceremony was about to start. She seemed fine and sat right next to me. Thinking we're on good terms and it was only the semester stressing us out, I texted her about the paper (making small talk), no response. But she's one of the first to watch my IG stories? It's so weird, man.

          I actually want to go back and identify whether it's also around the time I started wearing pheromones to class.

          I do have a theory on why this keeps happening to me, I'm too nervous to actually tell anyone, though. Lol.
          Collection: Innocence, DM+, Sexy Confidence, Vibe, Sweetness, Bitch, Love Boat, Bliss, Happiness, Neno, PSEL, Temptress, Engage, Madame, Comply, Thinker, Glow, DHEAS, Outspoken (+s), Sport, Flirt, Goddess, Tease, P82, P83, P96, xs194, xsr69, xsr46, xs189, xs190, xs191, xs130, xs196, xs201, xs202
          different color = sample (s)

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          • #6
            Cheerio, I would just quit her access to your social media, if I were you. She is snooping around, probably gossiping about you to her "real" friends.
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            • #7
              Originally posted by Ildergreier View Post
              Cheerio, I would just quit her access to your social media, if I were you. She is snooping around, probably gossiping about you to her "real" friends.
              I agree with you and I hadn't actually thought about that. I recently unfollowed her. But now, I've actually deactivated on my social media (to focus).

              But you're right on the mark with people who gossip about me to their friends. So the people from the internship I mentioned, two of them (the brown girl + lebanese drama queen guy, who is "straight") follow me on Instagram. They are sometimes the first people to watch my stories as well. The Nigerian girl who was the ring leader of the bully squad doesn't even follow me on social media, but she'd watch some of my Instagram stories as well. I'm sure they gossip amongst each other. When I mentioned that I needed volunteers to fill out surveys for my app, the brown girl was very quick to respond. Now, I never had a problem with her, but the fact that she's very close with two people who talked so much crap about me, makes me side-eye her. I used to be okay with having conversations with her, now I don't respond to her because I feel she's just fishing for information to give back to the others. This is probably the reason why the other girl wanted all of us to get together again, because social media isn't enough, they needed to know how everyone is doing in person to make judgement afterwards.

              Making friends is so hard for me and I hate it because I'm a great friend. I'm so good to people. I want to see everyone around me flourish. However, I do have faith that once I move to Manhattan, my social life should get better. One medium told me to refrain from making friends before I move.
              Collection: Innocence, DM+, Sexy Confidence, Vibe, Sweetness, Bitch, Love Boat, Bliss, Happiness, Neno, PSEL, Temptress, Engage, Madame, Comply, Thinker, Glow, DHEAS, Outspoken (+s), Sport, Flirt, Goddess, Tease, P82, P83, P96, xs194, xsr69, xsr46, xs189, xs190, xs191, xs130, xs196, xs201, xs202
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              • #8
                These people are toxic, I am chocked.
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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Ildergreier View Post
                  These people are toxic, I am chocked.
                  The worst part is I was the second black girl in the group, so you'd think the two black girls would have each other's backs? Nope.
                  I'm not saying someone has to latch onto any one black person they see in a group (because I sure as hell don't do that often). But, to try to show out and shun me for a group of people? I was very quiet and she was very loud. It's almost as if she wanted everyone to know that she was THE black girl that everyone should be friends with and to ignore the other quiet black girl.

                  Anyway, I'm happy to be able to vent about it, lol.
                  Collection: Innocence, DM+, Sexy Confidence, Vibe, Sweetness, Bitch, Love Boat, Bliss, Happiness, Neno, PSEL, Temptress, Engage, Madame, Comply, Thinker, Glow, DHEAS, Outspoken (+s), Sport, Flirt, Goddess, Tease, P82, P83, P96, xs194, xsr69, xsr46, xs189, xs190, xs191, xs130, xs196, xs201, xs202
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                  • Mysticbeauty
                    Mysticbeauty commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Someone was talking to me about this the other day and about historical trauma. Basically, competing and not supporting our own race and culture has been instilled for a long time. It's sad.

                • #10
                  Originally posted by Cheerio View Post

                  The worst part is I was the second black girl in the group, so you'd think the two black girls would have each other's backs? Nope.
                  I'm not saying someone has to latch onto any one black person they see in a group (because I sure as hell don't do that often). But, to try to show out and shun me for a group of people? I was very quiet and she was very loud. It's almost as if she wanted everyone to know that she was THE black girl that everyone should be friends with and to ignore the other quiet black girl.

                  Anyway, I'm happy to be able to vent about it, lol.
                  It doesn't sound like she are a huge loss. :hugs:

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                  • #11
                    Originally posted by Ildergreier View Post

                    It doesn't sound like she are a huge loss. :hugs:
                    She isn't. Neither of them are.
                    I guess because the Lebanese guy comes from a wealthy family, she wanted to latch onto him and see how far that would take her.
                    *shrugs*
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                    • #12
                      Originally posted by Cheerio View Post

                      She isn't. Neither of them are.
                      I guess because the Lebanese guy comes from a wealthy family, she wanted to latch onto him and see how far that would take her.
                      *shrugs*
                      A leech on??
                      Oh my fucking Christ, things like that is just too obvious.
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                      • #13
                        Originally posted by Cheerio View Post
                        As you know, I'm creating an app specifically for women to make friends and network with each other. I came up with this idea for a couple of reasons, but the main reason is that it's just so hard for women to make friends! Women aren't very nice to each other because of this imaginary competition (for men, careers, etc)! The only girl I can say that I've been friends with for a "long" time is the girl I wrote about in my journal. She's younger than I am, and it almost made us not compatible. She's ask me for advice and turn around and keep making stupid decisions. At some point, I felt like I was wasting my energy on her and we fell out and now we're friends again, but it's different this time bc I'm learning who she is and I'm learning that she's still learning and if I do make the choice to stay friends with her, then I'll need patience. We all have that one friend who does not always listen to us, lol. However, when we became friends again, she told me how much she's learned from me and I'm glad she's started becoming ruthless with men now (haha). I find that I get along better with older women. I also find myself getting along much better with women who follow hypergamous ideas. The last thing I need is someone in my friendship circle telling me I should only marry for love, lol. It's all an interesting phenomenon.

                        Anyway, one of my reasons for going to a lot of events is to make friends. Although some girls seem enthusiastic about meeting up again in the near future, they never follow up. I'll admit, it's also pride on my part that if someone isn't texting me, then i'm not going to text them until I see that it is a mutual thing. But it's hard to tell in the beginning. They appear to be responsive when I try to make conversation, but sometimes I wonder if they're just in the moment. I've also wondered if it's because I don't live in the city and so they feel that they shouldn't even try building a friendship with me? I remember doing an internship at the U.N. only a year ago and every single one of them shunned me from the group. Now, they're watching me on social media + trying to get back into my good graces once they realized what I'm about. It's always interesting to see how people are quick to push you to the side when they think you can't do anything for them, and then their behaviors towards you change when they realize you've become somebody they're going to want to know. Last year, around my birthday, the ring leader of it all (who is actually the first girl that I met in the internship, she's Nigerian), sent the group chat (which had been inactive for a while) saying that this was the time when we developed a friendship and that we should celebrate my birthday together. I ignored it. I'm not down with that. One of the brown girls hated me. The guy she was sleeping with was going to a basketball game with us, and since they've shunned me from all group outings previously, he hadn't seen me in a while. He was making small talk... until she literally came from the other side of the train to put his arm around him, walk back to the other interns, and then walked back over again. It was as crazy as it sounds! I have never experienced such thing in my life with a group of people.

                        Do you find it hard to make lady friends or have you gotten lucky in that department? What kind of women do you find yourself getting along with much better?
                        I'm so happy you made this topic (Also shout out to Steve for making this sub-forum). This is such a good topic because I've been struggling with the friend department ever since college. You brought up a lot of good points. I'm gonna ramble because I have a lot to say haha.

                        Originally posted by Cheerio View Post
                        Women aren't very nice to each other because of this imaginary competition (for men, careers, etc)!
                        YES! It's this weird cattiness shit that a lot of women have going on. One thing I realized in college is that the women I was around were very insecure with theirselves and when they were jealous, they took it out on you. They were jealous if you looked cute or you had a guy interested in you or you're doing well in career. They are some ladies who are so miserable/insecure that they feed into being catty/being a bitch. It's weird AF and those are women you don't want to be friends with anyways.


                        Originally posted by Cheerio View Post
                        Although some girls seem enthusiastic about meeting up again in the near future, they never follow up. I'll admit, it's also pride on my part that if someone isn't texting me, then i'm not going to text them until I see that it is a mutual thing. But it's hard to tell in the beginning.
                        THIS RIGHT HERE! Men even do it too. One thing I've realized about friendship is that it's harder to make friends when you grow older. Look at elementary school kids, they are all open to getting to know each other and playing with each other. As you progress into middle school, high school, college, and with a job/upper education (Masters/PhD) programs, you become MORE selective with who you become friends with. Friendship is exactly like dating except platonic. Think about it, you just met someone but you're not sure where you stand. You want to invite a potential new friend to a concert but you're not sure if they are into it or if they're even into YOU. You keep hanging out until you see if you two could be friends...and possibly even good/best friends (similar to seeing if a guy can be potentially your boyfriend/husband). Some of the women you meet may have good intentions but they are either too fearful to put theirselves out there or they aren't interested enough.

                        Also another tidpoint I wanted to add is everyone thinks they are social but they are not. We live in a very anti-social society right now. Yes its partly due to technology but it's also do to humans as well. The people who are the easiest to become friends with are people who either love making friends/outgoing and people who are SEEKING for friendship. Going back to my point on how making friends is similar to dating; a lot of people who have their own friend group/best friends are not interested in making new friends. Some of them will say they are but they won't go out of their way to initiate or continue a friendship. It's just the cold hard truth. If you have a boyfriend (unless you are a serial cheater), why would you seek another relationship with a man? You don't have to because you already have a boyfriend. That's how some people respond to when it comes to friendship. They are already have friends so why put energy into making new friends?

                        I'm not gonna lie...I'm more interested in dating because with dating, people go on dates because THEY WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU. They are interested in seeing if you can be apart of your life. And yes, maybe it's because they wanna see how you can benefit them (after all, relationships are beneficial to everyone involved in it). When it comes to friendship, how many people are trying to get to know you to become your friend? And genuinely want to be your friend, not because they want to use you for an advantage? Please don't think I'm trying to say no one wants to make friends in adulthood because a lot of people do...the problem is people just don't know how to go about it...just like dating. Also friendships just come naturally...just like relationships...you'll make great friends when you're being yourself and just going with the flow.
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                        • #14
                          Also I wanted to add, not only is it hard to make friends but it's hard to KEEP friends. Shit I won't say I'm always the greatest friend because I put my career/education first before socializing..but then again, I feel like my previous experiences in life made me that way. It's not always good but it's something I'm working on.
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                          Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Flirt, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow

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                          • #15
                            Originally posted by Cheerio View Post
                            I texted her about the paper (making small talk), no response. But she's one of the first to watch my IG stories? It's so weird, man.
                            I hate when people fucking do that...especially men. I need to start calling those people "fans" lmao
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                            Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Flirt, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow

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                            • #16
                              Originally posted by Cheerio View Post

                              I agree with you and I hadn't actually thought about that. I recently unfollowed her. But now, I've actually deactivated on my social media (to focus).

                              But you're right on the mark with people who gossip about me to their friends. So the people from the internship I mentioned, two of them (the brown girl + lebanese drama queen guy, who is "straight") follow me on Instagram. They are sometimes the first people to watch my stories as well. The Nigerian girl who was the ring leader of the bully squad doesn't even follow me on social media, but she'd watch some of my Instagram stories as well. I'm sure they gossip amongst each other. When I mentioned that I needed volunteers to fill out surveys for my app, the brown girl was very quick to respond. Now, I never had a problem with her, but the fact that she's very close with two people who talked so much crap about me, makes me side-eye her. I used to be okay with having conversations with her, now I don't respond to her because I feel she's just fishing for information to give back to the others. This is probably the reason why the other girl wanted all of us to get together again, because social media isn't enough, they needed to know how everyone is doing in person to make judgement afterwards.

                              Making friends is so hard for me and I hate it because I'm a great friend. I'm so good to people. I want to see everyone around me flourish. However, I do have faith that once I move to Manhattan, my social life should get better. One medium told me to refrain from making friends before I move.
                              Ewww that friend group sounds so pathetic. They want to be in contact with you again just to talk shit about you? Those are the type of people who don't have a life. I hope you blocked them all on social media. They seem weird AF.

                              I feel you on the bolded part. I feel that way about dating...shit I'd make a great girlfriend! WHERE IS MY MAN?!?!?! lol anyways, I say just keep focusing on you. Keep wearing pheromones and just have fun. Don't even worry about making friends, it will come when you least expect it. Are you currently working now, hun? Although I understand being cautious of making friends at work, it doesn't hurt to bond more with your coworkers. I bond a lot with my new coworkers and although I wouldn't call them "friends" I do see myself being friends with them if I didn't meet them in a work setting.
                              Current Arsenal:

                              XS (Full Bottles): Xist (women), Engage, Bliss, PSEL, Babe, Desire Me+, XS196 (Girlfriend Blend), Fantasy, Love Boat, Tease, Goddess Blend, Sweetness, P86, Connections, Mascot

                              Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Flirt, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow

                              LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha

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                              • #17
                                I find it so hard to make female friends! I graduated college a year ago and I find it's easier to date than find girlfriends. It's really disheartening, most girls stay within their already established packs. The girls I met at work are opportunists and only want to go out to parties to social climb, not just hang out one-on-one. I'm planning to move to a different city where my college girlfriends are becauses I really do need my social circle back.

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                                • #18
                                  Originally posted by OutspokenOne View Post

                                  I'm so happy you made this topic (Also shout out to Steve for making this sub-forum). This is such a good topic because I've been struggling with the friend department ever since college. You brought up a lot of good points. I'm gonna ramble because I have a lot to say haha.
                                  Ramble on, girl! I'm thinking this should be a thread where we can vent about our friendship-making woes, lol.


                                  YES! It's this weird cattiness shit that a lot of women have going on. One thing I realized in college is that the women I was around were very insecure with theirselves and when they were jealous, they took it out on you. They were jealous if you looked cute or you had a guy interested in you or you're doing well in career. They are some ladies who are so miserable/insecure that they feed into being catty/being a bitch. It's weird AF and those are women you don't want to be friends with anyways.
                                  I really wanted to mention the whole jealousy thing but didn't want to come off as arrogant. But now that you've mentioned it, I feel comfortable saying something about it. I think I am pretty. I do get a lot of attention. I'm quite feminine and soft as well. The thing with the internship girl is that she was tall (5'9"), extremely loud/hyper-social (she had to let everyone know each time she was in the room), and her aura/presence wasn't feminine at all. I'm not saying her being tall is not feminine because she is of average height to be a model BUT she was very masculine in the sense that she'd try too hard to be one of the guys and to be cool with everyone instead of just shutting up sometimes. I study Psychology, so the whole time I'm trying to diagnose her and have realized that she is insecure. She is loud because she's insecure. She talks a lot because she wants you to believe you know a lot about her but she's really saying all of nothing. I swearrrrr I wish I had these pheromones around the time of the internship. I'd have tons to report.

                                  As a matter of fact, I believe I wore pheromones a little bit during the internship. I vaguely remember reporting about how one of the guys (there were two guys in the internship, a white guy & the Lebanese guy who is stuck with the other drama queen) kept coming closer and closer to me when I was wearing a pheromone. Not sure if it was an oil or spray. I'm betting it was a spray. Also, speaking of him, he was generally nice to me. Strange right? The only white person in a group of POC was the one who was nice to me. And that's why it sorta frustrates me when Black people assume every single Black person experiences negative behavior with white folks, the only people who've given me issues were other people of color/Black people.

                                  See, now I'm rambling, lmao. Back to the original point, it's almost as if she tried to one up me, but couldn't. She'd also make shady comments around me like, "some people text me thinking they're my friends and I'm like, you're not." I knew she was talking about me. You guys!!!!!! This is the very same girl that I would go out with to parties in Manhattan in the beginning of the internship (in 2017)! The year started and she completely changed!

                                  She always rocked box braids, but I'd rock my natural hair at times. I remember catching her looking at me from the corner of her eyes, especially when the Lebanese guy would be talking to me. It's sad bc the Lebanese guy was cool with me and I'm not sure what she told him but that was over and he started being shady with me. Keep in mind that this guy was fairly new to New York that year and was probably trying to fit in with the cool kids. I guess you can consider her cool. The girl has A LOT of friends and I mean A LOT. Most, if not all, of her female friends are non-Black and it's the guys who are Black + non-Black. But you want to know why she has a lot of friends? Because she's fake. It's easy to call someone "friend" or "my friend." I even catch myself using that term loosely when I don't know any other way to describe someone without seeming too shady (I mean, who really says "my acquaintance?"). But yeah, she'd always rock box braids. Well, low and behold, she has a new hairstyle guys. Big, curly hair... like mine. I only saw this bc I got nosy one day and looked at the Lebanese guy's IG story & she was on there (of course). This isn't a coincidence. I noticed the new hair happened after she found my social media. I bet she was pissed to find out I no longer wear glasses because I'm even more gorgeous without them. I promise, you guys, I'm not cocky at all. I have my insecurities. But i also know I'm beautiful and some girls will not want to be friends with me just because of that. Also, throw in the fact that I am very clear about looking for a husband, and to them, it screams "competition!"

                                  For two people who aren't dating, she seems to be all over him, his friends from home, and his family (she follows his mother & sisters) on Instagram. Yes, I got nosy and looked (just to confirm my suspicions haha).



                                  THIS RIGHT HERE! Men even do it too. One thing I've realized about friendship is that it's harder to make friends when you grow older. Look at elementary school kids, they are all open to getting to know each other and playing with each other. As you progress into middle school, high school, college, and with a job/upper education (Masters/PhD) programs, you become MORE selective with who you become friends with. Friendship is exactly like dating except platonic. Think about it, you just met someone but you're not sure where you stand. You want to invite a potential new friend to a concert but you're not sure if they are into it or if they're even into YOU. You keep hanging out until you see if you two could be friends...and possibly even good/best friends (similar to seeing if a guy can be potentially your boyfriend/husband). Some of the women you meet may have good intentions but they are either too fearful to put theirselves out there or they aren't interested enough.

                                  Also another tidpoint I wanted to add is everyone thinks they are social but they are not. We live in a very anti-social society right now. Yes its partly due to technology but it's also do to humans as well. The people who are the easiest to become friends with are people who either love making friends/outgoing and people who are SEEKING for friendship. Going back to my point on how making friends is similar to dating; a lot of people who have their own friend group/best friends are not interested in making new friends. Some of them will say they are but they won't go out of their way to initiate or continue a friendship. It's just the cold hard truth. If you have a boyfriend (unless you are a serial cheater), why would you seek another relationship with a man? You don't have to because you already have a boyfriend. That's how some people respond to when it comes to friendship. They are already have friends so why put energy into making new friends?

                                  I'm not gonna lie...I'm more interested in dating because with dating, people go on dates because THEY WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU. They are interested in seeing if you can be apart of your life. And yes, maybe it's because they wanna see how you can benefit them (after all, relationships are beneficial to everyone involved in it). When it comes to friendship, how many people are trying to get to know you to become your friend? And genuinely want to be your friend, not because they want to use you for an advantage? Please don't think I'm trying to say no one wants to make friends in adulthood because a lot of people do...the problem is people just don't know how to go about it...just like dating. Also friendships just come naturally...just like relationships...you'll make great friends when you're being yourself and just going with the flow.
                                  You know what's strange? How men do it too but men are able to make friends easily and be cordial with each other. I really think some women can take a page out of a man's book when it comes to social relationships with the same sex.

                                  I agree that making friends is like dating. I have no idea why women make that shit so damn hard. I even tried Bumble BFF and a lot of girls weren't swiping on me! And the girls who were swiping on me... were lesbians!!! And if they weren't lesbians, they never wanted to actually go out but would tell me how they met someone off the app and hung out with them? Maybe this was stupid of me but I intentionally set my filters to be friends with women who are married and in relationships, because when you have friends who are locked down, your chances of meeting someone is higher. But I don't think that's how they saw it and I didn't even think about what they might have thought (even though they can't see my filter options).

                                  YESSSSS to the bold! Exactly! People will die if they don't have their phone in their hands to distract them from awkwardness of not having anyone to talk to.

                                  a lot of people who have their own friend group/best friends are not interested in making new friends.
                                  This is my problem. Every one that I hope to be friends with always mentions their "best friend" or something and I'm like I'm trying to become the best friend!! I want to be someone's best friend!

                                  And yes, I'm with you. Dating is easier than making friends. With dating, something is missing from that person's life (a special person), so you're more likely to develop something beautiful in hopes that both of you can become something special to each other. Honestly, I think when I get a boyfriend, he'll probably be my only friend.

                                  Unless I get well known off this app and then I'll go from not having any friends to not knowing who is my true friend, LOL. I think I do have a true friend but she confuses me at times.

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                                  • #19
                                    Originally posted by OutspokenOne View Post
                                    Also I wanted to add, not only is it hard to make friends but it's hard to KEEP friends. Shit I won't say I'm always the greatest friend because I put my career/education first before socializing..but then again, I feel like my previous experiences in life made me that way. It's not always good but it's something I'm working on.
                                    It's hard for me to keep friends because I'm quick to cut people off. I cut someone off for not saying Happy Birthday to me, lol. It sounds petty but he's always watching my IG stories and he had no problem messaging me for answers to homework. But when it was my birthday... "omg I forgot!" "omg! I didn't even realize!" meanwhile, it's all over my IG story. Spare me. I think it's a shitty thing to do to not say happy birthday to your friends. Also, now this one might also seem petty but when I text someone and they don't respond, but I see them on social media, and then they hit me with the "omg got distracted/I forgot to text back" they end up on my shit list. I won't cut them off completely but now they're on my radar. I think people are too inconsiderate and too selfish for friends.

                                    I try to be understanding but my goodness, we are all on our phones very often. Do give me excuses and b.s. It's a shame bc the guy who gave me those excuses I was starting to like him as a friend and now he has to be on my radar. I think he knows what he did too because the day of my graduation, I was posting stories on IG. Again, he's one of the ones who are always the first watchers of my stories (do you guys see how I have people rushing to see the shit I post -- they're probably going crazy now that I've deactivated everything). Anyway, I was posting stories the day of my graduation and he texted me like is today the big day??? I didn't respond. He texted again saying never mind, it is!! Congratulations! I texted back the next day. And the one girl I've been posting about (the one I went to Equinox with) has done this a few times. I'd text her and she wouldn't respond until the next day but she's liking posts on IG. We originally fell out because the only time she'd really text me is with screen shots of other guys bc she wants me to create a message for her to send them. I cursed her the fuck out for that.

                                    I know two wrongs don't make a right but I'm done giving people the pleasure of knowing me and having access to me.
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                                    • #20
                                      Originally posted by OutspokenOne View Post
                                      I hate when people fucking do that...especially men. I need to start calling those people "fans" lmao
                                      LMAO yes! They're fans!
                                      Collection: Innocence, DM+, Sexy Confidence, Vibe, Sweetness, Bitch, Love Boat, Bliss, Happiness, Neno, PSEL, Temptress, Engage, Madame, Comply, Thinker, Glow, DHEAS, Outspoken (+s), Sport, Flirt, Goddess, Tease, P82, P83, P96, xs194, xsr69, xsr46, xs189, xs190, xs191, xs130, xs196, xs201, xs202
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