Coffee shop mix

[Primross]

That opinion stems from insecurities. The "real alpha" is secure enough in his masculinity that he doesn't care about what others think of him or his masculinity, and he therefore does as he pleases. Your mindset comes from fear that someone might think you aren't masculine enough if you are found doing X at Y place. The most "masculine" thing you can do is to do your own thing, regardless. It takes a very big set of balls to do that, because it means you are not afraid.

A man without insecurities will hang out at Starbucks if he feels like it or it is convenient for whatever reason. Most guys I know who have achieved "real man" status don't like Starbucks because it's not good quality coffee and it's overpriced, not because it has anything to do with how another person might perceive them for being there or doing whatever while they are there.

Questions of "being masculine enough" are driven by fear of not being masculine enough, which indicates a lack of self mastery, and real alphas have achieved self mastery in that direction.

Its not insecurities its nature. Alphas don't want to do those things they would rather do something else. If I was in a coffee shop I wouldn't feel insecure I just don't have the desire to do so. It's got nothing to do with me not wanting to sit there and look like a stupid poser hipster I don't care what other people think.

[Muestereate]

This is possible. While I don't have many male gym jocks at the bookstore coffee shop, There's a ton of female gym jocks passing through. At the other coffee shop, I go to, the males are hipster mountaineers, even a couple man buns that can scale vertical cliffs with one hand. To me, these rugged lanky types are more alpha than huge bulked guys though I know chicks dig the shoulder more. What I don't find at coffee shops are guys that are in sports bars. Rude loud and drunk, If that is alpha, you can have it even if the girls like it. Their identity is wrapped up in the vicariousness of watching the team. If alpha has anything to do with sports, I hang with solo sports instead of team sports. If that makes me beta, who cares. There's no TV in either of my coffee shops.

I'm getting from this discussion that coffee shops are beta. So whats good pheromones for us beta pussies to get laid by academics and Yoga chicks instead of dumbo's and bulking athletes

[Muestereate]

Do it all the time, and don't care what other men think of my masculinity.

[Muestereate]

some people work better with a radio on, and some work better with it off. Sometimes background noise shuts down the clatter, sometimes it is the clatter. Same with driving

[Catlord17]

Alphas take care of themselves and improve they want to be the best they can that a why they go to the gym. I agree confirmed shops have a great ratio of females but you will give off a home of a loser if you sit there by yourself. "A man wouldn't say come on guys lets go hang out at starbs!!" It's simply not a masculine thing to do.

That opinion stems from insecurities. The "real alpha" is secure enough in his masculinity that he doesn't care about what others think of him or his masculinity, and he therefore does as he pleases. Your mindset comes from fear that someone might think you aren't masculine enough if you are found doing X at Y place. The most "masculine" thing you can do is to do your own thing, regardless. It takes a very big set of balls to do that, because it means you are not afraid.

A man without insecurities will hang out at Starbucks if he feels like it or it is convenient for whatever reason. Most guys I know who have achieved "real man" status don't like Starbucks because it's not good quality coffee and it's overpriced, not because it has anything to do with how another person might perceive them for being there or doing whatever while they are there.

Questions of "being masculine enough" are driven by fear of not being masculine enough, which indicates a lack of self mastery, and real alphas have achieved self mastery in that direction.

[Catlord17]

You start a critique with the accusation of a binary black-and-white statement, and then end it with a black-and-white statement of your own.

I wasn't critiquing you. I was stating what I believe to be facts. And the last statement I made was hardly black and white. Whether you are referring to "Going to a coffee shop to socialize just means you prefer that atmosphere in which to socialize, and the people who also like it, are the people you want to socialize with." or "I have done a lot better than just numbers in the past for picking up women using pheromones at coffee shops. You can't assume your individual experience is the end-all be-all." I did not qualify the first one by saying "in most cases", which I probably should have, as I suspect this is what you're referring to with stating it was black and white. That was simply an oversight, as that is what I was thinking when I wrote it. Not black and white.

My posts are within the context of the OP's original question, and will frequently be generalizations using qualifiers when necessary. You disagree with my assessment of the role of socialization in coffee shops, so we'll agree to disagree.

This is not about me or my experience.......or yours, but the social context. Each and every one of us could shout "I'm the exception" (and many here do just that), but it would still be the exception that proves the rule.

I am happy to disagree. I'm also not talking about exceptions. I'm talking about what has been the norm in my experiences with coffee shops. It may simply be that we are experiencing two wildly different coffee shop cultures as a result of locality.

[Primross]

Where I am, coffee shops are populated by females at a ratio of about 3:1 over males. And they tend to be attractive females, albeit hipsters. I'm not really interested in hipsters and I don't drink coffee, so I don't go to coffee shops.

But your statement that "a coffee shop is no place for a real man to hang out" flies in the face of the very definition of what a "real man" is: a leader of himself first and foremost. "Real" men are the expression of masculine potential, and that would be leadership. So that being said, a "real man" by definition can be found doing whatever it is that he pleases, regardless of the insecurities of other men that limit them as to where they do and do not go because they're afraid "real men" don't/shouldn't go there.

I don't disagree that a lot of the people you find in coffee shops are hipsters, and I don't disagree that they are a herd mentality, which does not lead to leadership. But you can't tell me that I shouldn't hang out in a coffee shop if I want to be a "real man", because a real man by definition does whatever the hell he wants to, regardless of what anyone else thinks. "Real" men are not insecure about what others think.

Likewise, I see a lot of guys you would call "beta" at my gym, and many of them are body builders who are hugely muscled, mainly because they are insecure and trying to make up for their fear that their masculinity is insufficient to be "good enough". Being found in a coffee shop or a gym has nothing to do with how "alpha" or "real man" a guy is. The real alphas do as they please, regardless.

Alphas take care of themselves and improve they want to be the best they can that a why they go to the gym. I agree confirmed shops have a great ratio of females but you will give off a home of a loser if you sit there by yourself. "A man wouldn't say come on guys lets go hang out at starbs!!" It's simply not a masculine thing to do.

[Catlord17]

I'm with theLaw on this one a coffee shop is no place for a real man to hang out. If ever you look inside you see a beta sausagefest inside. If you are going to sip a latte for an hour while writing stuff on your iMac then you are portraying yourself as a beta sheep that's just trying to look cool. If you want to see an alpha male step in a gym. I understand there are a lot of good-looking women there but if you look like a beta coffee shop boy then you will get in the friend zone which her at best. A coffee shop to an alpha is nothing more than a cheap date spot to take out a girl.

Where I am, coffee shops are populated by females at a ratio of about 3:1 over males. And they tend to be attractive females, albeit hipsters. I'm not really interested in hipsters and I don't drink coffee, so I don't go to coffee shops.

But your statement that "a coffee shop is no place for a real man to hang out" flies in the face of the very definition of what a "real man" is: a leader of himself first and foremost. "Real" men are the expression of masculine potential, and that would be leadership. So that being said, a "real man" by definition can be found doing whatever it is that he pleases, regardless of the insecurities of other men that limit them as to where they do and do not go because they're afraid "real men" don't/shouldn't go there.

I don't disagree that a lot of the people you find in coffee shops are hipsters, and I don't disagree that they are a herd mentality, which does not lead to leadership. But you can't tell me that I shouldn't hang out in a coffee shop if I want to be a "real man", because a real man by definition does whatever the hell he wants to, regardless of what anyone else thinks. "Real" men are not insecure about what others think.

Likewise, I see a lot of guys you would call "beta" at my gym, and many of them are body builders who are hugely muscled, mainly because they are insecure and trying to make up for their fear that their masculinity is insufficient to be "good enough". Being found in a coffee shop or a gym has nothing to do with how "alpha" or "real man" a guy is. The real alphas do as they please, regardless.

[Primross]

I'm with theLaw on this one a coffee shop is no place for a real man to hang out. If ever you look inside you see a beta sausagefest inside. If you are going to sip a latte for an hour while writing stuff on your iMac then you are portraying yourself as a beta sheep that's just trying to look cool. If you want to see an alpha male step in a gym. I understand there are a lot of good-looking women there but if you look like a beta coffee shop boy then you will get in the friend zone which her at best. A coffee shop to an alpha is nothing more than a cheap date spot to take out a girl.

[theLaw]

I was referring to the "hanging out" in coffee shops mentality. Many guys go to "work" or "read" sitting in the middle of a bunch of people talking. Sounds like bullsh*t.

[theLaw]

This is a black and white statement, indicating black and white thinking, which is inevitably going to be wrong in a shades of gray/lots of colors world. It can be that way, but that doesn't apply to even close to 100% of situations or people. Going to a coffee shop to socialize just means you prefer that atmosphere in which to socialize, and the people who also like it, are the people you want to socialize with.

I have done a lot better than just numbers in the past for picking up women using pheromones at coffee shops. You can't assume your individual experience is the end-all be-all.

You start a critique with the accusation of a binary black-and-white statement, and then end it with a black-and-white statement of your own.

My posts are within the context of the OP's original question, and will frequently be generalizations using qualifiers when necessary. You disagree with my assessment of the role of socialization in coffee shops, so we'll agree to disagree.

This is not about me or my experience.......or yours, but the social context. Each and every one of us could shout "I'm the exception" (and many here do just that), but it would still be the exception that proves the rule.

[Muestereate]

Hanging out at an establishment with limited seating because you need a novel location is just narcissism.

Are you referring to coffee shops or exclusive restaurants with reservations? Lost you here on the apparent link between coffee shops and narcissism. If I go out to a restaurant, I'm indeed with familiars and never meet other customers. Coffee shops though can be pretty social around here. but they lack the disinhibitor alcohol.

Since I don't drink or spend time at a place with people that do drink, pheromones provide a sort of social lubricant. And since the light is brighter and harsher, I can go beyond just disinhibitors and push into beutifiers. It would be nice to sort out which ones work better in daylight.

I'm not sure the whole alpha thing applies in coffee shops, I've found I can be the initiator as well as being the initiated. Women have boldness in public places they don't have in places that are easier to isolate them in. The I'm offended shield goes down in coffee shops but private places and a lot of nightlife places it goes full on. So I don't need a bitch shield remover, they do not go to pieces if I ask them if they'd like to join me or if I ask if I can join them.

Hence the topic I guess. The pheromones in a coffee shop are called on for more complex uses than just, 'being alpha'. Perhaps that opens up the topic a bit.

[Catlord17]

A coffee shop is a social environment, as is a bar, but not in the same way.

In a coffee shop, you generally socialize with familiars. In a bar, you socialize with everyone.

Those individuals who go to a coffee shop "for themselves" are not social individuals, but instead are afraid to be social. So the coffee shop provides a well-built illusion to support their own self-deception. Hanging out at an establishment with limited seating because you need a novel location is just narcissism.

This is a black and white statement, indicating black and white thinking, which is inevitably going to be wrong in a shades of gray/lots of colors world. It can be that way, but that doesn't apply to even close to 100% of situations or people. Going to a coffee shop to socialize just means you prefer that atmosphere in which to socialize, and the people who also like it, are the people you want to socialize with.

Business meetings are nearly all done over lunch/dinner, as they are meetings for a reason, but the coffee shop provides a place for shorter meetings for those lacking resources, which works well as long as everyone respects other's time.

In terms of a pickup location, it would work for numbers at best. But I suspect this thread was really about getting girls to initiate using a particular mix while sitting near them at a coffee shop, so it's probably irrelevant.

I have done a lot better than just numbers in the past for picking up women using pheromones at coffee shops. You can't assume your individual experience is the end-all be-all.

[Catlord17]

How about a self employed alpha? A real "alpha" doesn't care what others think of him, so he does whatever the fuck he wants. Including working from a coffee shop.

[theLaw]

A coffee shop is a social environment, as is a bar, but not in the same way.

In a coffee shop, you generally socialize with familiars. In a bar, you socialize with everyone.

Those individuals who go to a coffee shop "for themselves" are not social individuals, but instead are afraid to be social. So the coffee shop provides a well-built illusion to support their own self-deception. Hanging out at an establishment with limited seating because you need a novel location is just narcissism.

Business meetings are nearly all done over lunch/dinner, as they are meetings for a reason, but the coffee shop provides a place for shorter meetings for those lacking resources, which works well as long as everyone respects other's time.

In terms of a pickup location, it would work for numbers at best. But I suspect this thread was really about getting girls to initiate using a particular mix while sitting near them at a coffee shop, so it's probably irrelevant.

[theLaw]

1. So you're reading, not socializing. 2. For beta-males, you are correct. They need every advantage they can find.

[MRSNAKE]

I highly suspect that you don't know what you're talking about, pick ups happen best when it's within your daily routine.

[MRSNAKE]

People go work 9-5 for a company while i can go to coffee shops , gyms or wherever during those times and making lots more $$$$. I think that dude just jumped the shark, like no alpha has ever sat in a coffee shop doing his work. How pathetic some people can be.

[MRSNAKE]

Alpha's go where they feel like going based on how they feel , and what their business demands, bumping into women isn't always a priority. .More of a secondary objective. That's a real alpha, I find that betas chase women down and for alphas it's more business first.

Maybe Alpha doesn't even belong in a coffeeshop.

[MRSNAKE]

Alpha's go where they feel like going based on how they feel , and what their business demands, bumping into women isn't always a priority. .More of a secondary objective.