How do you effectively build and maintain a roster of men?

[Cheerio]

This is actually a post I made on LSA as well. I'll repost it here:

Most of us will agree that single women who are actively dating should keep a roster of guys because you don't want to put all your eggs in one basket. But for some of us, this is a little difficult. I'm not talking about sex or just casually dating for fun, I'm talking about dating in hopes that one of them will lead to something serious, potential husbands. For those of you who are successful at this, what is your secret?

Someone mentioned spreadsheets. What are some other methods?

[Ildergreier]

Spreadsheets where you give them points seem smart.

[Ildergreier]

Anyway, the key is to not focus on one man, but just let the men focus on you. Not to get attached to anyone before they show themselves to be worthy. I thought I had found that man earlier this year, but before the punk concert in Easter he revealed some really ugly attitudes to people who are not like him (artists, bikers, musicians, immigrants), to art (why do you care???? It is worthless doing art!!! I don't get it) and I could not follow up a relationship with him, I quit him cold turkey. So i went from three to two and hope I meet 3 and four today.

I want a man 46-56 year old who is finished with children, who earn his own keep and care about art. And that has proven to be more difficult than I imagined when I started my manhunt project. Anyway, did you see my manhunt template in my journal?

[Cheerio]

Anyway, the key is to not focus on one man, but just let the men focus on you. Not to get attached to anyone before they show themselves to be worthy. I thought I had found that man earlier this year, but before the punk concert in Easter he revealed some really ugly attitudes to people who are not like him (artists, bikers, musicians, immigrants), to art (why do you care???? It is worthless doing art!!! I don't get it) and I could not follow up a relationship with him, I quit him cold turkey. So i went from three to two and hope I meet 3 and four today.

I want a man 46-56 year old who is finished with children, who earn his own keep and care about art. And that has proven to be more difficult than I imagined when I started my manhunt project. Anyway, did you see my manhunt template in my journal?

Man, it's so hard when you're developing something with someone, and then they show sides of them that you do not want to deal with. But it's better to have found that out now than later. We just keep dodging bullets back and forth, lol.

No, I haven't! I'll check it out in a few (gonna go make some dinner, I've been fasting for over 20 hours, when I'm only supposed to do 16, lol).

[Ildergreier]

Man, it's so hard when you're developing something with someone, and then they show sides of them that you do not want to deal with. But it's better to have found that out now than later. We just keep dodging bullets back and forth, lol.

Yeah, he it became obvious he was a stagnant person and I can't deal with it.

I am quoting myself.

So I have outlined the idea of

Manhunt.

Her I have written the qualifications I need him to have and what I want him to give to me. Why I am singling out this man for my goal and what can I give in return (the last thing is actually quite important since it tells about how far are you willing to go). I set a date that links to my calendar and will remind me of this at 1 month, 2 weeks, 3 days, 1 day to sum up did I get him to do as I needed him to?

Here I need to decide if I should put in more work or leave the project behind. I write this to the under category of Status.

With under categories as:

Priority
Status
Technique
Obstacles
Pheromone
Social scene

The last two got under categories too, which pheromone to use on him and where to find him.

--------

Nothing here that says you can't make a template out of this and use on many men on the same time and then evaluate them against each other too. When you do that you put his name where I wrote Man Hunt and then what I have outlined and make every man a project.

[Ildergreier]

No, I haven't! I'll check it out in a few (gonna go make some dinner, I've been fasting for over 20 hours, when I'm only supposed to do 16, lol).

What are you cooking tonight?

[Cheerio]

What are you cooking tonight?

Your list reminds me of my husband manifestation list. I was extremely specific because I'll never forget reading how someone manifested the perfect man... but he was gay! LOL. So now I say "is heterosexual" & "was born a man." I do not need any surprises or complications.

I'm going to make breaded chicken breast and eat it with the rest of my angel hair pasta w/ shrimp.
This is what I made a few nights ago:

Chicken Alfredo Fettuccine


I'm just going to make the chicken again.

[colorfulaura]

Perfection!

[Cheerio]

Thank you! OutspokenOne <3

[Cheerio]

Haha, you're welcome to come over anytime siren & you too colorfulaura

[Ildergreier]

Looks amazing!

[Cheerio]

Thank you <3

[OutspokenOne]

I'm gonna be watching this thread as well. It's summer time and I'm tryna be a Hot Girl!

To be brutally honest, I think if you go out enough and use the right pheromones, you can build a roster. The only thing is that, you have to be tolerant of the men on it. Some will not be ideal but I think if it comes to a point where he seriously irritates you/disrespects you/etc, then you have to cut him off.

Also you just have to learn to remain unattached like Ildergreier says.

[colorfulaura]

I'll sit for this one. Juggling men is hard for me because usually one or two become clingy in the casual phase and I just get tired and ghost. But being courted properly by real gentlemen is the ideal.

[Cheerio]

I'm gonna be watching this thread as well. It's summer time and I'm tryna be a Hot Girl!

To be brutally honest, I think if you go out enough and use the right pheromones, you can build a roster. The only thing is that, you have to be tolerant of the men on it. Some will not be ideal but I think if it comes to a point where he seriously irritates you/disrespects you/etc, then you have to cut him off.

Also you just have to learn to remain unattached like Ildergreier says.

I actually agree with you. I think a big reason for my failures with dating is not going out enough and relying more on online dating, which I'm done with for good (officially). I believe online dating only works when you're in a big city, of course. And I don't mean the surrounding areas, I mean actually in the city. All of my matches were in Manhattan, but of courses men hate reading, so they'd miss the part where I said I didn't live in Manhattan & then the whole drinks and coffee thing started. But also, there's something worry with a man who doesn't want to pay or my transportation to get to Manhattan. When I move, it'll be 10x easier. However, I do think if I meet the right man now, before I move, he'll be totally fine with paying for my transportation (otherwise he wouldn't be the right man)
& yes, you & Ildergreier are right. I need to practice being unattached.

[Isis]

I find it easier to keep several men around than women.

Granted, sometimes I repeat stories thinking I haven't told them but I'm usually pretty decent at playing it off (I give the impression of an airhead)

Some rules I have:

I make sure they live in different cities. I avoid taking them to the same restaurants. I keep things light so I don't have to remember specifics.

[Ildergreier]

I find it easier to keep several men around than women.

Granted, sometimes I repeat stories thinking I haven't told them but I'm usually pretty decent at playing it off (I give the impression of an airhead)

Some rules I have:

I make sure they live in different cities. I avoid taking them to the same restaurants. I keep things light so I don't have to remember specifics.

This.

Maintain relations with men in different cities. I live in Europe and also have roster of men in different cities I like to visit. Like London, Berlin, Copenhagen and Helsinki.

[colorfulaura]

This.

Maintain relations with men in different cities. I live in Europe and also have roster of men in different cities I like to visit. Like London, Berlin, Copenhagen and Helsinki.

Do you keep in contact with them? I meet men in different cities and lose attention to communicate, but they haven't been men I'm really attracted to.

[Ildergreier]

Do you keep in contact with them? I meet men in different cities and lose attention to communicate, but they haven't been men I'm really attracted to.

Yeah, on social media.

[Metaltree]

I make sure they live in different cities. I avoid taking them to the same restaurants. I keep things light so I don't have to remember specifics.

Cheerio's whole point of having a roster of men is, "hopes that one of them will lead to something serious". How will keeping men in different cities help? The odds of having a LTR that leads to marriage with a man in a different city is too low to be worth the trouble.

If I were a woman I'd do the following:

1. If I met a man who was not suitable for a LTR, I'd ghost him and delete his phone number.
2. If a man was good LTR material but not ready for a LTR, I'd add him to my roster and friend zone him.
3. Let them know explicitly that they are being friend zoned because they are not ready for a LTR.
4. Don't worry about taking them to the same restaurants. Men don't care if you take another man to the same restaurant. Even if he sees you at the restaurant with another man it won't matter.
5. In my opinion, it won't hurt anything if the men on your roster know each other. So what if they meet? So what if they even become friends?
6. Don't hookup with men on the roster. Hookup with men who are not LTR suitable and keep them separate from the men on the roster.

So the goal is to end up with a roster of potential LTRs. When one of the guys decides he is ready for a LTR, he will consider you at that point. He may or may not pick you but at least he will consider you.

[Isis]

Cheerio's whole point of having a roster of men is, "hopes that one of them will lead to something serious". How will keeping men in different cities help? The odds of having a LTR that leads to marriage with a man in a different city is too low to be worth the trouble.

If I were a woman I'd do the following:

1. If I met a man who was not suitable for a LTR, I'd ghost him and delete his phone number.
2. If a man was good LTR material but not ready for a LTR, I'd add him to my roster and friend zone him.
3. Let them know explicitly that they are being friend zoned because they are not ready for a LTR.
4. Don't worry about taking them to the same restaurants. Men don't care if you take another man to the same restaurant. Even if he sees you at the restaurant with another man it won't matter.
5. In my opinion, it won't hurt anything if the men on your roster know each other. So what if they meet? So what if they even become friends?
6. Don't hookup with men on the roster. Hookup with men who are not LTR suitable and keep them separate from the men on the roster.

So the goal is to end up with a roster of potential LTRs. When one of the guys decides he is ready for a LTR, he will consider you at that point. He may or may not pick you but at least he will consider you.

Men in different cities isnt a problem if you live in a densely populated area. I'm assuming she lives in a densely populated area.

Speaking from experience as a woman who dates men, there are a good number of men who definitely care when there is another man in the picture.

[Ildergreier]

Speaking from experience as a woman who dates men, there are a good number of men who definitely care when there is another man in the picture.

Yeah, it makes them understand that they do not own women anymore.

[Isis]

????????

[Cheerio]

Cheerio's whole point of having a roster of men is, "hopes that one of them will lead to something serious". How will keeping men in different cities help? The odds of having a LTR that leads to marriage with a man in a different city is too low to be worth the trouble.

If I were a woman I'd do the following:

1. If I met a man who was not suitable for a LTR, I'd ghost him and delete his phone number.
2. If a man was good LTR material but not ready for a LTR, I'd add him to my roster and friend zone him.
3. Let them know explicitly that they are being friend zoned because they are not ready for a LTR.
4. Don't worry about taking them to the same restaurants. Men don't care if you take another man to the same restaurant. Even if he sees you at the restaurant with another man it won't matter.
5. In my opinion, it won't hurt anything if the men on your roster know each other. So what if they meet? So what if they even become friends?
6. Don't hookup with men on the roster. Hookup with men who are not LTR suitable and keep them separate from the men on the roster.

So the goal is to end up with a roster of potential LTRs. When one of the guys decides he is ready for a LTR, he will consider you at that point. He may or may not pick you but at least he will consider you.

The only thing I'd correct is the last bit. Don't hookup with any of them at all. Dating & having sex aren't the same but it seems the word "dating" has become synonymous with sex (and it shouldn't). It's crazy to me how many people can't date each other without becoming physical. Most times, it's because the woman is afraid the man will lose interest, so she gives in too fast. If a man loses interest because he doesn't get to pelvic-slap with you, then he was the never the man for you to begin with.

[Vicki Lee]

The only thing I'd correct is the last bit. Don't hookup with any of them at all. Dating & having sex aren't the same but it seems the word "dating" has become synonymous with sex (and it shouldn't). It's crazy to me how many people can't date each other without becoming physical. Most times, it's because the woman is afraid the man will lose interest, so she gives in too fast. If a man loses interest because he doesn't get to pelvic-slap with you, then he was the never the man for you to begin with.

I’d at least have one fuck buddy on the side to keep things nice and balanced. Nothing wrong with a good pelvic slap from a guy who’s only talent is slinging dick ????????????. He’ll make the % of temptation of fucking the others slim to none... My only thing is, what if the guy you end up being with is shitty in bed ???? no stroke, cums too quick, don’t know where the clit is????... *shivers* Worst nightmare ever.