Do you find it hard to make lady friends?

[Mysticbeauty]

Not at all and the reason why I didn't vibe is because I noticed I was being left out. So ultimately, I didn't want it anyway.

Yeah and that's probably cause you've been burned like you said and that makes total sense. I'm not taking their side because I don't know them. It's always a possibility that they thought you wouldn't want to be by them? OR maybe they are just being mean. I'm interested to see if Cohesion helps! It helped in those type of situations for me. They obviously were hating on me and I wasn't "like them". Cohesion just calmed all our asses down! So I'm really hoping it can facilitate that for you a bit or at least smooth some of the edges, but then you have to do the rest of the work, if that's something you want..

[Cheerio]

Being left out sucks, but you also said you didn't vibe with some of them. So even if they included you, would you want to join in?

Not at all and the reason why I didn't vibe is because I noticed I was being left out. So ultimately, I didn't want it anyway.

I'd have to re read your journal because you could be talking about different women.

Oh, you're talking about the women from my internship. That was mostly one girl but the others followed suit.

[Mysticbeauty]

Next time ya'll drink, toast to a drama free work zone! It's a hint hunt and also that you appreciate them.

[Cheerio]

Then that is something to celebrate girl! If you work in a gossip free zone, that's an excuse to party!

Funny you say that because alcohol is definitely allowed at work.
On Halloween, I had someone make a vodka cranberry drink before I went to get my lunch at reception, lol.

[Mysticbeauty]

I honestly hope it never gets to that point and honestly, I actually don't see it ever getting to that point ever. Maybe a lil' petty here and there (like yesterday), but nothing extreme. I just don't see that happening.

Then that is something to celebrate girl! If you work in a gossip free zone, that's an excuse to party!

[Mysticbeauty]

Thankfully, I haven't met any older women who gossip because they're just too busy living their lives. This doesn't mean they don't gossip with their other friends, lol. Just not to me.

I'll try to move forward with an open mind. I came into this job with an open mind and it slowly started to diminish once I realized I was being "left out." It's weird to me how things changed quickly. I'm only a month in, so there's still time!

When I went to Charlotte for work, one of the girls actually messaged me saying she missed me in the office, lol. I think I feel this way for a couple of reasons:
1) My pheromones might be affecting their natural reactions to me... they feel weird emotions + can't explain it (I can, it's the mones)
2) Mercury Retrograde (lmao)
3) I'm afraid because I've been burned plenty times before and have had enough
4) They are hot and cold with me

I have spent soooo much time really thinking about these things, in general. At some point, I wondered if I was autistic or something, lol.

Being left out sucks, but you also said you didn't vibe with some of them. So even if they included you, would you want to join in? I'd have to re read your journal because you could be talking about different women.
Just remember they ha e a whole dialogue of things running through their heads as well, every one wants to feel like they belong, and they've also been burned.
Focus on the commonalities, don't seperate yourself unintentionally, but at the same time you have a choice of how much you are willing to out into those relationships, and maybe when it comes down to it, you decide its not worth your energy? Or maybe a little extra friendly energy towards them is just enough to make work smoother. Like you said you are still new there. Smile, be a team player, and see what happens. This is also scorpio season, transformation time, time to shed the old. You started a new job, you are stepping into a new and different time in your life, enjoy the journey and see what happens. So much can change so fast, it's hard to see it sometimes. Let the dust settle a bit. Or if you are feeling feisty stir it all up! Lol.

[Mysticbeauty]

People always gossip at work. It's nothing new. Now when people go to work to intimidate/bully others, that's an issue and something I don't take lightly. People who do that are miserable and come to work to do that shit.

Yeah. In my fantasy world every one gets along is happy, purposeful, etc. But some people just want to bring that negative shit every where they go and take you down with them. It's unnecessary, especially in the medical field (where you work right?). That should be a place of healing! It's upsetting to me.

[Mysticbeauty]

Very true! I like your mindset, I agree with a lot of the posts you've made in this thread haha

Thank you! It's funny as soon as I start judging, I instantly get something thrown in my face to show me otherwise. It's always positive and it makes me laugh. It's kind of like a universal smack/jokes on you type of thing. I also have instant karma though. I can't even think a certain way or something will metaphorically smack me over the head. I can't even get a little cocky, even in something like a board game,but if I'm humble and sincere I win. I learned that with ex boyfriend's too. If they did anything to hurt me something always happened to them, to the point I just never sought out revenge or payback because it was handled and also because anything I think or do negatively to others comes back at me.
Also I want to say judging is different than discernment sometimes you just have to judge a situation and make a decision that's best for your well being, that's ok. Being compassionate and kind includes YOURSELF!

[Cheerio]

People always gossip at work. It's nothing new. Now when people go to work to intimidate/bully others, that's an issue and something I don't take lightly. People who do that are miserable and come to work to do that shit.

I honestly hope it never gets to that point and honestly, I actually don't see it ever getting to that point ever. Maybe a lil' petty here and there (like yesterday), but nothing extreme. I just don't see that happening.

[Cheerio]

Cheerio Also older women can gossip even harder if they choose too. With that experience comes alot to shit talk about. Age doesn't equal maturity unfortunately.
Though, like I said I prefer women older than me. Just have an open heart and mind to attract the right people to you and go on with you life smiling and having fun;you'll run into them!

Thankfully, I haven't met any older women who gossip because they're just too busy living their lives. This doesn't mean they don't gossip with their other friends, lol. Just not to me.

I'll try to move forward with an open mind. I came into this job with an open mind and it slowly started to diminish once I realized I was being "left out." It's weird to me how things changed quickly. I'm only a month in, so there's still time!

When I went to Charlotte for work, one of the girls actually messaged me saying she missed me in the office, lol. I think I feel this way for a couple of reasons:
1) My pheromones might be affecting their natural reactions to me... they feel weird emotions + can't explain it (I can, it's the mones)
2) Mercury Retrograde (lmao)
3) I'm afraid because I've been burned plenty times before and have had enough
4) They are hot and cold with me

I have spent soooo much time really thinking about these things, in general. At some point, I wondered if I was autistic or something, lol.

[OutspokenOne]

People always gossip at work. It's nothing new. Now when people go to work to intimidate/bully others, that's an issue and something I don't take lightly. People who do that are miserable and come to work to do that shit.

[Mysticbeauty]

Cheerio Also older women can gossip even harder if they choose too. With that experience comes alot to shit talk about. Age doesn't equal maturity unfortunately.
Though, like I said I prefer women older than me. Just have an open heart and mind to attract the right people to you and go on with you life smiling and having fun;you'll run into them!

[OutspokenOne]

Yes I prefer older woman, BUT I've had many younger women surprise me, so I stay open minded. I've met immature older women and super mature younger women. You just never know.

Very true! I like your mindset, I agree with a lot of the posts you've made in this thread haha

[Mysticbeauty]

Honestly, I think I'm not too sold on that idea because of the little petty incident that occurred yesterday with the 24 speaking aloud about a problem her friend was having with an ex-gf that he was basically spoiling. I don't really know if I believe in coincidences. I did notice the girl she was talking to barely said anything and tried to respond in a way that sounded like she agreed w/ her but also didn't want no problems, like responding under her breath. I'm not at all surprised it's the younger girl who was being Ms. Petty Betty. I'm more likely to want to chat with the other girl (who is 27) than the younger girl. She sounded extra salty.

But also, all the women I've been burned by were younger than I was which makes me believe I'm not at all compatible with anyone younger than I am.

Yeah I don't go searching for younger people to hang out with. I assume we don't have things in common, but the ones that show up in my life, I'm open to it because they've surprised me.
And that's work, work honestly is like high school half the time. People are bored with their lives and like to gossip, that's going to be every where. Sometimes you get lucky and it's not, but I usually just expect it. Even if they love their lives outside of work, people like to make the day more enjoyable and people like drama. Me not so much, but most people do, they thrive on it, it's exciting to them, and they can still get away with it while getting a paycheck.
Work is more fun with friends but it's not required ya know?

[Mysticbeauty]

Not every relation ship fits in the same box. I know some woman who are with men who pay all the bills thos men also use that as power against them. I don't know them enough to know if the signs were there before they got married or not. I also know couples where the guy pays for everything and he's a nice guy but lacks in other areas. I know couples where they both work and they have a great relationship and some that don't. I definitely see the appeal in money and security and I don't want to ever be in a relationship where I feel like I have another child to take care of, but at the same time money could be gone in a second and then what's left? Is there substance, connection, love, in that relationship? People get married and enter partnerships for different reasons, as long as both partners are aware it's not a big deal. But I think there are alot of unsaid assumptions/expectations on both ends.
My point is good relationship advice can come in all shapes, forms, and dollar amounts.
The relationship you see on the outside isn't the best picture of what's going on behind closed doors.

[OutspokenOne]

Yes same thing happened to me. I started being so embarrassed and ashamed that I was with hi., I stopped talking to my friends about him. I know that's a warning sign now. I know now that no human is worth losing my dignity for. I wish I would have gone to therapy. That was smart of you! I wish I knew in my 20's what I know now. I'm 31 and I LOVE MY THIRTIES. so if you have that mindset now all the power to you! That makes me happy!

It's a warning sign but however I think it's still healthy to talk to someone about what you're going through even if it's embarrassing. It's really about the constructive criticism they give and if they can't give it, well there is no use in speaking to them about it then.

We live and we learn. Thank you! I loved therapy! I miss my therapist actually, she was great to talk to. It's probably one of the best decisions I made in my 20s.

[Cheerio]

Yes I prefer older woman, BUT I've had many younger women surprise me, so I stay open minded. I've met immature older women and super mature younger women. You just never know.

Honestly, I think I'm not too sold on that idea because of the little petty incident that occurred yesterday with the 24 speaking aloud about a problem her friend was having with an ex-gf that he was basically spoiling. I don't really know if I believe in coincidences. I did notice the girl she was talking to barely said anything and tried to respond in a way that sounded like she agreed w/ her but also didn't want no problems, like responding under her breath. I'm not at all surprised it's the younger girl who was being Ms. Petty Betty. I'm more likely to want to chat with the other girl (who is 27) than the younger girl. She sounded extra salty.

But also, all the women I've been burned by were younger than I was which makes me believe I'm not at all compatible with anyone younger than I am.

[Mysticbeauty]

I have been way too many times to the point I just tread lightly and maybe I automatically distance myself from other women. But over and over again, I realize how much I get along sooo much better with older women than young.

Yes I prefer older woman, BUT I've had many younger women surprise me, so I stay open minded. I've met immature older women and super mature younger women. You just never know.

[Cheerio]

Yeah it doesn't have to be about that, but they can give you different perspectives on other areas of life. You never know.

I guess. The only thing they really changed my perspective on is where to move around NYC (I was very strict on only Manhattan). But as far as relationship stuff, I've learned that that is not a topic I want to discuss with anyone who isn't close to me or whose beliefs don't align with mine because not many women are aiming to marry monied men and a whole lot of women are into splitting bills, etc.

This might sound bad but I am more likely to want to take advice from someone way older than I am than someone who is also in their 20s. Only because most of the things I know now have come from women who've already experienced life. I don't want advice from anyone who isn't living the life I want to live or hasn't experienced much. These two girls are 24 & 27. They may be good for fun conversations like travels and vacation, but idk how likely I am to consider anything deeper than that. Just my experience.

[OutspokenOne]

They definitely won't be changing my perspective on splitting bills, LOL.

Yeah it doesn't have to be about that, but they can give you different perspectives on other areas of life. You never know.