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To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This

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  • To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This

    This a long post and for our serious researchers only. I am looking for feedback on this and reports from anyone who has tried it with the pheromone suggestions listed at the end of the post. ideally I'd like to see attempts made with the pheromones and without the pheromones.

    Since this is for our community I am going to post the entire article. I feel it is that important and also the New York times tends to blank things out rather quickly which would make posting this useless no? Read on to understand why I felt it necessary to flirt with copyright to bring this to the community.
    To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This
    More than 20 years ago, the psychologist Arthur Aron succeeded in making two strangers fall in love in his laboratory. Last summer, I applied his technique in my own life, which is how I found myself standing on a bridge at midnight, staring into a man’s eyes for exactly four minutes.
    Let me explain. Earlier in the evening, that man had said: “I suspect, given a few commonalities, you could fall in love with anyone. If so, how do you choose someone?”
    He was a university acquaintance I occasionally ran into at the climbing gym and had thought, “What if?” I had gotten a glimpse into his days on Instagram. But this was the first time we had hung out one-on-one.
    “Actually, psychologists have tried making people fall in love,” I said, remembering Dr. Aron’s study. “It’s fascinating. I’ve always wanted to try it.”
    I first read about the study when I was in the midst of a breakup. Each time I thought of leaving, my heart overruled my brain. I felt stuck. So, like a good academic, I turned to science, hoping there was a way to love smarter.
    I explained the study to my university acquaintance. A heterosexual man and woman enter the lab through separate doors. They sit face to face and answer a series of increasingly personal questions. Then they stare silently into each other’s eyes for four minutes. The most tantalizing detail: Six months later, two participants were married. They invited the entire lab to the ceremony.
    “Let’s try it,” he said.
    Let me acknowledge the ways our experiment already fails to line up with the study. First, we were in a bar, not a lab. Second, we weren’t strangers. Not only that, but I see now that one neither suggests nor agrees to try an experiment designed to create romantic love if one isn’t open to this happening.
    I Googled Dr. Aron’s questions; there are 36. We spent the next two hours passing my iPhone across the table, alternately posing each question.
    They began innocuously: “Would you like to be famous? In what way?” And “When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?”
    But they quickly became probing.
    In response to the prompt, “Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common,” he looked at me and said, “I think we’re both interested in each other.”

    I grinned and gulped my beer as he listed two more commonalities I then promptly forgot. We exchanged stories about the last time we each cried, and confessed the one thing we’d like to ask a fortuneteller. We explained our relationships with our mothers.
    Continue reading the main story Modern Love College Essay Contest

    We invited college students nationwide to open their hearts and laptops and write an essay that tells the truth about what love is like for them today.



    The questions reminded me of the infamous boiling frog experiment in which the frog doesn’t feel the water getting hotter until it’s too late. With us, because the level of vulnerability increased gradually, I didn’t notice we had entered intimate territory until we were already there, a process that can typically take weeks or months.
    I liked learning about myself through my answers, but I liked learning things about him even more. The bar, which was empty when we arrived, had filled up by the time we paused for a bathroom break.
    I sat alone at our table, aware of my surroundings for the first time in an hour, and wondered if anyone had been listening to our conversation. If they had, I hadn’t noticed. And I didn’t notice as the crowd thinned and the night got late.
    We all have a narrative of ourselves that we offer up to strangers and acquaintances, but Dr. Aron’s questions make it impossible to rely on that narrative. Ours was the kind of accelerated intimacy I remembered from summer camp, staying up all night with a new friend, exchanging the details of our short lives. At 13, away from home for the first time, it felt natural to get to know someone quickly. But rarely does adult life present us with such circumstances.
    The moments I found most uncomfortable were not when I had to make confessions about myself, but had to venture opinions about my partner. For example: “Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner, a total of five items” (Question 22), and “Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time saying things you might not say to someone you’ve just met” (Question 28).

    Much of Dr. Aron’s research focuses on creating interpersonal closeness. In particular, several studies investigate the ways we incorporate others into our sense of self. It’s easy to see how the questions encourage what they call “self-expansion.” Saying things like, “I like your voice, your taste in beer, the way all your friends seem to admire you,” makes certain positive qualities belonging to one person explicitly valuable to the other.
    It’s astounding, really, to hear what someone admires in you. I don’t know why we don’t go around thoughtfully complimenting one another all the time.
    We finished at midnight, taking far longer than the 90 minutes for the original study. Looking around the bar, I felt as if I had just woken up. “That wasn’t so bad,” I said. “Definitely less uncomfortable than the staring into each other’s eyes part would be.”
    He hesitated and asked. “Do you think we should do that, too?”
    “Here?” I looked around the bar. It seemed too weird, too public.
    “We could stand on the bridge,” he said, turning toward the window.
    The night was warm and I was wide-awake. We walked to the highest point, then turned to face each other. I fumbled with my phone as I set the timer.
    “O.K.,” I said, inhaling sharply.
    “O.K.,” he said, smiling.
    I’ve skied steep slopes and hung from a rock face by a short length of rope, but staring into someone’s eyes for four silent minutes was one of the more thrilling and terrifying experiences of my life. I spent the first couple of minutes just trying to breathe properly. There was a lot of nervous smiling until, eventually, we settled in.
    I know the eyes are the windows to the soul or whatever, but the real crux of the moment was not just that I was really seeing someone, but that I was seeing someone really seeing me. Once I embraced the terror of this realization and gave it time to subside, I arrived somewhere unexpected.
    I felt brave, and in a state of wonder. Part of that wonder was at my own vulnerability and part was the weird kind of wonder you get from saying a word over and over until it loses its meaning and becomes what it actually is: an assemblage of sounds.
    So it was with the eye, which is not a window to anything but rather a clump of very useful cells. The sentiment associated with the eye fell away and I was struck by its astounding biological reality: the spherical nature of the eyeball, the visible musculature of the iris and the smooth wet glass of the cornea. It was strange and exquisite.
    When the timer buzzed, I was surprised — and a little relieved. But I also felt a sense of loss. Already I was beginning to see our evening through the surreal and unreliable lens of retrospect.
    Most of us think about love as something that happens to us. We fall. We get crushed.
    But what I like about this study is how it assumes that love is an action. It assumes that what matters to my partner matters to me because we have at least three things in common, because we have close relationships with our mothers, and because he let me look at him.
    I wondered what would come of our interaction. If nothing else, I thought it would make a good story. But I see now that the story isn’t about us; it’s about what it means to bother to know someone, which is really a story about what it means to be known.
    It’s true you can’t choose who loves you, although I’ve spent years hoping otherwise, and you can’t create romantic feelings based on convenience alone. Science tells us biology matters; our pheromones and hormones do a lot of work behind the scenes.
    But despite all this, I’ve begun to think love is a more pliable thing than we make it out to be. Arthur Aron’s study taught me that it’s possible — simple, even — to generate trust and intimacy, the feelings love needs to thrive.
    You’re probably wondering if he and I fell in love. Well, we did. Although it’s hard to credit the study entirely (it may have happened anyway), the study did give us a way into a relationship that feels deliberate. We spent weeks in the intimate space we created that night, waiting to see what it could become.
    Love didn’t happen to us. We’re in love because we each made the choice to be.


    Now on to the list of the 36 questions:

    Here they are, in order:
    1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
    2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
    3. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you're going to say? Why?
    4. What would constitute a perfect day for you?
    5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
    6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?
    7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
    8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
    9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
    10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
    11. Take four minutes and tell you partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
    12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?
    13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
    14. Is there something that you've dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
    15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
    16. What do you value most in a friendship?
    17. What is your most treasured memory?
    18. What is your most terrible memory?
    19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
    20. What does friendship mean to you?
    21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
    22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
    23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?
    24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
    25. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "we are both in this room feeling..."
    26. Complete this sentence "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."
    27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
    28. Tell your partner what you like about them: be honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.
    29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
    30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
    31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
    32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
    33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
    34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
    35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
    36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

    Now to complete the experiment one should stare into the eyes of your partner for at least four minutes. I've read elsewhere that its 45 minutes but in this case its four minutes.

    We talk a lot about game here, and how to find a real relationship with the help of science and technology. This is just another part of that idea.

    My suggestion would be to use this with the following pheromones: Xist, and Connections. Why?

    Xist will show you in a new light, provide the mystery at the same time this solves mysteries. Connections will help open the two of you up and allow communication to flow easier. Will likely make it easier to ask and answer these questions as they get more and more personal.

    Anyone up for the challenge of doing this with and without pheromones and giving a report?



  • #2
    I like the idea and would be willing to try, although I'd have to think about my target a bit. Are you suggesting we try this on two separate people- one w/ mones, one w/out mones?

    Edit: Let me rephrase that. For this experiment, you want me to try this approach on two people? Or you're fine with each of us just choosing 1 person while another will choose a person where one of us does it w/ mones while the other does it w/out mones?
    Last edited by fdesa12; 09-18-2015, 03:50 PM.
    Alpha Dream: Glace, Alfa Maschio
    Pheremone XS: A1 (50 mcg), Bliss, Vibe, Xist, Exotica, Love Boat, Flirt, Ascend, Dominant Ascend, Connections, Cohesion, Celebrity, Evolve Spray, Taboo, APi, Thinker, XS144 Outspoken, Approach Confidence, Limitless, Evolve oil, Taboo oil, SOB, Odyssey, Happy, XS155 Social Lube
    Love Scent: Chikara gel packs
    AD: P83, IS (10mcg/spray), TAC
    LAL: Nude Alpha
    Orange Font = Sample Bottles

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    • #3
      This looks awfully familiar. I think something like this was posted early this summer and the hubby and I tried it. We are already married but it did give me some new info about him, he opened up about some personal stuff he never did before and I got to know him better.

      I think it's worth a shot.

      Comment


      • #4
        Yes. I think the experiment would require you to do this twice....maybe even more times equal in number with and without mones for comparison's sake.

        Comment


        • #5
          very nice post. Forum is interesting

          Comment


          • #6
            Ragnar Lothbrook this is an old thread but you may want to try this with your spouse (and anyone else in marital problems!). I think I will try this with my wife soon and report back! Can't hurt! Thank you to the original poster for the idea, with Xist especially this would be good to do (and connections)
            PXS Product Content Spreadsheet: https://goo.gl/q7KVX1
            PXS
            Sprays: Bliss, SOB, Xist, Taboo, Evolve, Cohesion, Dominant Ascend, Exotica, Ascend (with and without cops), Limitless
            Oils: Xist, Cohesion, Desire Me for Men, Massage Oil for Men
            Samples: SOB, Crush, Bliss, Evolve, Thinker, Odyssey, Vibe, Flirt, Barely Legal, Celebrity
            AD
            AMMO (1.0), IS, IG, IJ, IH, IO, CTTM 2, TUTH (1.0 and 1.1), p74, p83, p93, p100, Spaceland, MX 297, MX 272, MX 291, Lip Magnet

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            • #7
              I can't believe I didn't see this till now. Just started dating a gal and we get along quite well. So this might be worth taking a crack at. So far, I've only been using Voodoo around her, which is supposed to be an imprinting mix. I'll report back once I have a chance to give this a go.

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              • #8
                The post is very informative but I feel like the process would be lengthy. If it went well though I fell all would go well and you might find your true love.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Very interesting, have to make a test.
                  Living in Nordic climate, very cold and humid. Targets Caucasian/blond women, not really much chance to test with black, hispanic or asian. Living in a city, I target mostly 18-40 years old.
                  Pheromone XS: SOB, Xist oil, Love boat, Cohesion oil & spray, Ascend -cops-, Connections, Evolve.
                  Alpha dream: Alpha Maschio.
                  Love Scent : scented Chikara, NPA 15ml.
                  Androtics: A 314 oil (rarely use)
                  Cover cologne: Armani Code

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                  • #10
                    Rather than using this as a way to force a connection, I would use it more as a litmus test in an already developing relationship. If you partner can't or won't answer these questions in the course of a few weeks, then they may not have the mental and emotional capability of sustaining a long-term relationship.
                    I say 'a course of a few weeks' because there are factors that may prevent someone from sharing this deeply. Do I really want a partner who will tell anyone deeply personal information just by being asked ? I value my privacy. If they don't value theirs, and we get into a relationship, then I may well lose the sense of privacy that is so important to me.
                    I think a balanced person would eventually develop enough trust with a partner to share all the above items. But I know I would refuse to answer some of these in the course of just one evening.

                    Also please consider that the ability to eye gaze can be reduced in someone with social anxiety, is on the autism spectrum, and so on. The questions are a good guideline but I think they need to applied with some common sense and understanding of the person you are speaking with.

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                    • #11
                      Interesting, but I won't try anything but using the phero's though.
                      Arsenal

                      ​​​​​​Full bottles: Sport, Celebrity, Innocence, Connections, And Babe, Cohesion, Temptress, Thinker, Fantasy, Psel, Tease, Xist x 2, Odyssey, LoveBoat, Vibe and XSP102.
                      Testers: DesireMe+, Fantasy, Love Boat, Innocence, Cohesion, Temptress X 2.

                      LPMP: Heart & Soul, Empathy, True Confession, Blatant Invitation, Sexology, Audacious and Open Windows.

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                      • #12
                        Not buying it. Unless there's some initial spark of attraction the whole exercise is moot. Even still there's no guarantee.
                        53/W/M

                        Current arsenal:
                        Prowl, APi, Ascend -cops, Cohesion spray, Crush spray, Connections spray, Evolve spray, PSE spray, XSP75 12.5 mcg, XSP83 12.5 mcg XSP86 12.5 mcg, XSP93 12.5 mcg, XSP96 12.5 mcg, XSR32 12.5 mcg, XSR37 12.5 mcg XSR85 12.5mcg, AndrostAnone 2.5 mcg, AdrostEnone 5 mcg, DHEA 10 mcg, DHEAS 10 mcg, Androsterone 10 mcg, Epi-Androsterone 10 mcg, Androsterone Sulfate 10 mcg, A1 20 mcg, Alpha Androstenol 10 mcg, Beta Androstenol 10 mcg

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Scottie2Hottie View Post
                          Not buying it. Unless there's some initial spark of attraction the whole exercise is moot. Even still there's no guarantee.
                          You are probably right.
                          Arsenal

                          ​​​​​​Full bottles: Sport, Celebrity, Innocence, Connections, And Babe, Cohesion, Temptress, Thinker, Fantasy, Psel, Tease, Xist x 2, Odyssey, LoveBoat, Vibe and XSP102.
                          Testers: DesireMe+, Fantasy, Love Boat, Innocence, Cohesion, Temptress X 2.

                          LPMP: Heart & Soul, Empathy, True Confession, Blatant Invitation, Sexology, Audacious and Open Windows.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            This isn't about attraction. Any stray dog can be attracted to your leg. This is about creating a real relationship, and sharing a bond based on two peoples thoughts, passions, interests, goals, history, heartaches, beliefs, etc. The older I get I look back on my very few relationships that weren't initially driven by lust, and they were the most mutually respectful, and fulfilling relationships I've had. A different kind of attraction forms when you're in to them for their mind first and body second. I've just been too shallow to have enough relationships based on intellectual attraction.
                            I've tried much more, but these are my current, or most used mones:
                            Spray- XiSt, Evolve, SOB, Ascend, Celebrity, Cohesion, PSE, P86, P96, P75, P130
                            Oil- XiSt, Taboo, Evolve, Ascend, Api, Voodoo

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Ragnar Lothbrook View Post
                              This isn't about attraction. Any stray dog can be attracted to your leg. This is about creating a real relationship, and sharing a bond based on two peoples thoughts, passions, interests, goals, history, heartaches, beliefs, etc. The older I get I look back on my very few relationships that weren't initially driven by lust, and they were the most mutually respectful, and fulfilling relationships I've had. A different kind of attraction forms when you're in to them for their mind first and body second. I've just been too shallow to have enough relationships based on intellectual attraction.
                              We two are different, because I need the sexual attraction to be interested to get to know a man. If I don't I feel like I am wasting both our time.
                              Arsenal

                              ​​​​​​Full bottles: Sport, Celebrity, Innocence, Connections, And Babe, Cohesion, Temptress, Thinker, Fantasy, Psel, Tease, Xist x 2, Odyssey, LoveBoat, Vibe and XSP102.
                              Testers: DesireMe+, Fantasy, Love Boat, Innocence, Cohesion, Temptress X 2.

                              LPMP: Heart & Soul, Empathy, True Confession, Blatant Invitation, Sexology, Audacious and Open Windows.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                I hear ya Ildergreier. What I'm sayin is I can be attracted to almost anyone physically though. Whether it's their eyes, hair, hips, legs, ass, titties, lips, you name it. Every woman can look good to me. and if all the other stuff is cool then it makes them that much hotter.
                                I've tried much more, but these are my current, or most used mones:
                                Spray- XiSt, Evolve, SOB, Ascend, Celebrity, Cohesion, PSE, P86, P96, P75, P130
                                Oil- XiSt, Taboo, Evolve, Ascend, Api, Voodoo

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Originally posted by Ragnar Lothbrook View Post
                                  This isn't about attraction. Any stray dog can be attracted to your leg. This is about creating a real relationship, and sharing a bond based on two peoples thoughts, passions, interests, goals, history, heartaches, beliefs, etc. The older I get I look back on my very few relationships that weren't initially driven by lust, and they were the most mutually respectful, and fulfilling relationships I've had. A different kind of attraction forms when you're in to them for their mind first and body second. I've just been too shallow to have enough relationships based on intellectual attraction.
                                  So basically what you're saying is that a 1 and a 10 actually have a chance of making a love connection? I'm not buying it. Platitudes don't reflect reality.
                                  53/W/M

                                  Current arsenal:
                                  Prowl, APi, Ascend -cops, Cohesion spray, Crush spray, Connections spray, Evolve spray, PSE spray, XSP75 12.5 mcg, XSP83 12.5 mcg XSP86 12.5 mcg, XSP93 12.5 mcg, XSP96 12.5 mcg, XSR32 12.5 mcg, XSR37 12.5 mcg XSR85 12.5mcg, AndrostAnone 2.5 mcg, AdrostEnone 5 mcg, DHEA 10 mcg, DHEAS 10 mcg, Androsterone 10 mcg, Epi-Androsterone 10 mcg, Androsterone Sulfate 10 mcg, A1 20 mcg, Alpha Androstenol 10 mcg, Beta Androstenol 10 mcg

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    Originally posted by Scottie2Hottie View Post

                                    So basically what you're saying is that a 1 and a 10 actually have a chance of making a love connection? I'm not buying it. Platitudes don't reflect reality.
                                    I am not buying that either.

                                    Arsenal

                                    ​​​​​​Full bottles: Sport, Celebrity, Innocence, Connections, And Babe, Cohesion, Temptress, Thinker, Fantasy, Psel, Tease, Xist x 2, Odyssey, LoveBoat, Vibe and XSP102.
                                    Testers: DesireMe+, Fantasy, Love Boat, Innocence, Cohesion, Temptress X 2.

                                    LPMP: Heart & Soul, Empathy, True Confession, Blatant Invitation, Sexology, Audacious and Open Windows.

                                    Comment

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