Are your close friends usually friends who have the same relationship status as you? Do you feel comfortable in confiding in people who don't share the same relationship status as you?
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Do you prefer to have friends with the same relationship status as you?
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Do you prefer to have friends with the same relationship status as you?
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I look for friends who are either in relationships or are also looking to get married soon. I believe that surrounding myself with people who are in healthy, happy, and loving relationships will help that manifest into my life as well. But also, my chances of being introduced to a single friend of theirs increases as opposed to being friends with someone who is single. It's also important that not only is my friend also seeking a serious relationship, but that our goals align because I'm not trying to hear excuses or have anyone throw shade at me because they aren't confident enough to go after what they want; been there, done that.
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Im not necessarily an open person so i dont think id mind befriending someone single if I was in a relationship.
in the sense that i dont tell my business so i dont think id have to worry too much about my single friend hating on me or anything. Most of my friendships are platonic.
and I dont mind befriending people in relationships currently
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Originally posted by OutspokenOne View PostAre your close friends usually friends who have the same relationship status as you?
Originally posted by OutspokenOne View PostDo you feel comfortable in confiding in people who don't share the same relationship status as you?You're never too old to learn NuTrix ^_~
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Originally posted by Cheerio View PostI look for friends who are either in relationships or are also looking to get married soon. I believe that surrounding myself with people who are in healthy, happy, and loving relationships will help that manifest into my life as well. But also, my chances of being introduced to a single friend of theirs increases as opposed to being friends with someone who is single. It's also important that not only is my friend also seeking a serious relationship, but that our goals align because I'm not trying to hear excuses or have anyone throw shade at me because they aren't confident enough to go after what they want; been there, done that.Current Arsenal:
XS (Full Bottles): Xist (women), Engage, Bliss, PSEL, Babe, Desire Me+, XS196 (Girlfriend Blend), Fantasy, Love Boat, Tease, Goddess Blend, Sweetness, P86, Connections, Mascot, Fairytale, Flirt, P96, Glow, Bitch (XS124), XSP106, XSR46, XS189
Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow, Vibe, Inbetween, Odyssey.
LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha
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Originally posted by LegendaryCharisma View PostIm not necessarily an open person so i dont think id mind befriending someone single if I was in a relationship.
in the sense that i dont tell my business so i dont think id have to worry too much about my single friend hating on me or anything. Most of my friendships are platonic.
and I dont mind befriending people in relationships currently
Now when it comes to someone being single, should we default their advice just because they are single? If someone is giving honest advice that may not be exactly what a person wants to hear, should we deem that single person bitter?*
* I'm not trying to miscontrue your statement, I'm just trying to ask more open-ended questions to get the discussion flowing.Current Arsenal:
XS (Full Bottles): Xist (women), Engage, Bliss, PSEL, Babe, Desire Me+, XS196 (Girlfriend Blend), Fantasy, Love Boat, Tease, Goddess Blend, Sweetness, P86, Connections, Mascot, Fairytale, Flirt, P96, Glow, Bitch (XS124), XSP106, XSR46, XS189
Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow, Vibe, Inbetween, Odyssey.
LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha
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Originally posted by NuTrix View Post
Nope. I like the variety
I confide in people I trust. Their relationship status doesn't seem to actually have a baring on that...whether or not they have a sensible head on their shoulders plays a much larger role...Current Arsenal:
XS (Full Bottles): Xist (women), Engage, Bliss, PSEL, Babe, Desire Me+, XS196 (Girlfriend Blend), Fantasy, Love Boat, Tease, Goddess Blend, Sweetness, P86, Connections, Mascot, Fairytale, Flirt, P96, Glow, Bitch (XS124), XSP106, XSR46, XS189
Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow, Vibe, Inbetween, Odyssey.
LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha
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So I asked this question because last weekend, I hung out with two girls and they both have boyfriends. And sometimes they would talk about their boyfriends/being in a relationship and I felt awkward because I've been single for a long time. I would like to make friends and they are a fun group, it just feels weird when they boast about their relationships and I'm like the third wheel. However I want to still be supportive of their relationships and listen to them. I don't believe I'm a hater or will give malicious advice to them...I just feel, I don't have much to add? I hope I'm making sense.
I also feel more comfortable with talking to my single friends about my dating life compared to women in relationships. I was talking to a coworker about something and all the sudden she goes "omg i could never imagine being single! Like how would i survive?!" In a way, I felt she was trying to pity me? And not everyone who is in a relationship acts like this, but I feel there are some women that they try to make you feel bad for being single...like they feel in a way superior for being in a relationship.Current Arsenal:
XS (Full Bottles): Xist (women), Engage, Bliss, PSEL, Babe, Desire Me+, XS196 (Girlfriend Blend), Fantasy, Love Boat, Tease, Goddess Blend, Sweetness, P86, Connections, Mascot, Fairytale, Flirt, P96, Glow, Bitch (XS124), XSP106, XSR46, XS189
Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow, Vibe, Inbetween, Odyssey.
LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha
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Originally posted by OutspokenOne View Post
I really enjoyed reading your response. I never thought about it that way because I've always had friends who were usually single. I recently met some girls who are in relationships and their friends are also in relationships. So I realized that maybe if I become better friends with them, that I too, could potentially meet a guy through our friend group.
In response to the post above, you can always join the conversation and mention that you're single + joke that if their bf has any single friends, let a girl know! You guys can also plan a huge hangout where they invite their single friends as well, etc.
ETA: I found it, and it's 4 pages long, but I'm having second thoughts about posting it because there are a couple of things on there that some might find offensive and I do not want to offend anyone at all. But basically it says what I already said, more female friends means getting introduced to single men, lol.Last edited by Cheerio; 09-07-2019, 08:04 PM.
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Originally posted by OutspokenOne View PostNow when it comes to someone being single, should we default their advice just because they are single? If someone is giving honest advice that may not be exactly what a person wants to hear, should we deem that single person bitter?*
* I'm not trying to miscontrue your statement, I'm just trying to ask more open-ended questions to get the discussion flowing.
Do they have experience with the topic? Are they projecting? What you think and feel will not be what someone else does more often than not, but different perspectives can be valuable. Even if what they offer is coming from a place of ignorance, it's still a perspective and has potential to have value. If it doesn't, it's easy enough to consider and then dismiss. If they sound bitter, they are, lol, but they may have good reason. Maybe their previous choice(s) wasn't/weren't stellar...it takes two...
Originally posted by OutspokenOne View PostI don't believe I'm a hater or will give malicious advice to them...I just feel, I don't have much to add? I hope I'm making sense.
I also feel more comfortable with talking to my single friends about my dating life compared to women in relationships. I was talking to a coworker about something and all the sudden she goes "omg i could never imagine being single! Like how would i survive?!" In a way, I felt she was trying to pity me? And not everyone who is in a relationship acts like this, but I feel there are some women that they try to make you feel bad for being single...like they feel in a way superior for being in a relationship.
A statement like, "how would I survive?!" is very revealing about the other person. They do not feel they could be independent of a relationship. They see it as a bad thing, a crisis, that they could not survive without a partner. If they pity you, it is a projection of their own fear and concern that they are throwing over you. It has to do with them, not you.
Try to recognise when someone is projecting their feelings on you and feel free to dismiss it.
For instance, if you are single, independant and taking care of yourself just fine and have no anxiety over how you are going to "survive", why would you need to be concerned if someone is throwing pity your way because THEY cannot fathom independence outside of a relationship? It's irrelevant for you. Their pity is misplaced.
It may not even be malevolent. They may genuinely feel bad that you don't have someone to "take care of you" or at least help carry the load (bills, work, life...)
If you do feel someone is talking down to you, it could be some are jealous. You are doing what they believe they cannot and they may secretly, or not so secretly, resent you for it because it spot lights what they believe they are unable (or unwilling) to do for themselves.
Only you can discern which it may be. Politely point out the projectors, letting them know you understand how that may make them feel, but that is not an issue for you. Distance yourself from the toxic ones.
Hehe, that's my nickel and a half...
You're never too old to learn NuTrix ^_~
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It doesn't matter the relationship status, there is lessons to be learned from all types of people. It really just breaks down to the quality of the person and the friendship. Also some friendships cover all the bases and some don't. So there very well might be some people you feel more comfortable talking about dating with. It's just learning to weed out the comments others make. Is it constructive advice or their own insecurities being pushed on you. You got this!
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Originally posted by NuTrix View PostAnyone can offer relationship advice. The grain of salt part is if their advice is relevant.
Do they have experience with the topic? Are they projecting? What you think and feel will not be what someone else does more often than not, but different perspectives can be valuable. Even if what they offer is coming from a place of ignorance, it's still a perspective and has potential to have value. If it doesn't, it's easy enough to consider and then dismiss. If they sound bitter, they are, lol, but they may have good reason. Maybe their previous choice(s) wasn't/weren't stellar...it takes two...Originally posted by NuTrix View PostAfter all, no matter what anyone shares with us - we will always wind up doing exactly what we want to do, good, bad or indifferent
Originally posted by NuTrix View PostA statement like, "how would I survive?!" is very revealing about the other person. They do not feel they could be independent of a relationship. They see it as a bad thing, a crisis, that they could not survive without a partner. If they pity you, it is a projection of their own fear and concern that they are throwing over you. It has to do with them, not you.
Try to recognise when someone is projecting their feelings on you and feel free to dismiss it.
Originally posted by NuTrix View PostFor instance, if you are single, independant and taking care of yourself just fine and have no anxiety over how you are going to "survive", why would you need to be concerned if someone is throwing pity your way because THEY cannot fathom independence outside of a relationship? It's irrelevant for you. Their pity is misplaced.
It may not even be malevolent. They may genuinely feel bad that you don't have someone to "take care of you" or at least help carry the load (bills, work, life...)
If you do feel someone is talking down to you, it could be some are jealous. You are doing what they believe they cannot and they may secretly, or not so secretly, resent you for it because it spot lights what they believe they are unable (or unwilling) to do for themselves.
Only you can discern which it may be. Politely point out the projectors, letting them know you understand how that may make them feel, but that is not an issue for you. Distance yourself from the toxic ones.
Yesss...thank you for adding your insight. I really enjoy your perspective on things...it made me rethink about everything.Current Arsenal:
XS (Full Bottles): Xist (women), Engage, Bliss, PSEL, Babe, Desire Me+, XS196 (Girlfriend Blend), Fantasy, Love Boat, Tease, Goddess Blend, Sweetness, P86, Connections, Mascot, Fairytale, Flirt, P96, Glow, Bitch (XS124), XSP106, XSR46, XS189
Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow, Vibe, Inbetween, Odyssey.
LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha
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Originally posted by OutspokenOne View PostNow when it comes to someone being single, should we default their advice just because they are single?
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Originally posted by siren View PostI am closest with my friends that are not married. I don't drop them if I'm in a relationship, unlike others.
I wish some people knew that having a social life doesn't always mean spending time with your significant other...it can involve friends/family too.Current Arsenal:
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Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow, Vibe, Inbetween, Odyssey.
LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha
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Originally posted by Cheerio View PostI've always hated when people would say that you shouldn't take advice from single people. This is stupid for various reasons. That person is single for a reason. Take me for example, single for almost 5 years because I was in a relationship that gave me the biggest epiphany of my entire life. A HUGE reality check that I needed. Now, I can sense red flags miles away & am able to let another girl know if something is a red flag because I've experienced it before. There are people who've been married before who are now single who can give you some insight on things they wish they could have changed or things they could have done differently, and that can help you on your relationship journey as well.Current Arsenal:
XS (Full Bottles): Xist (women), Engage, Bliss, PSEL, Babe, Desire Me+, XS196 (Girlfriend Blend), Fantasy, Love Boat, Tease, Goddess Blend, Sweetness, P86, Connections, Mascot, Fairytale, Flirt, P96, Glow, Bitch (XS124), XSP106, XSR46, XS189
Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow, Vibe, Inbetween, Odyssey.
LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha
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Originally posted by OutspokenOne View Post
You know what's so interesting? I noticed that a lot of women will do this and when they have progressed into the relationship, they realized they neglected their existing friends. So they will try to reach out to their existing friends (who are either too busy or no longer present) or they will go on apps like Bumble searching for new friends.
I wish some people knew that having a social life doesn't always mean spending time with your significant other...it can involve friends/family too.
As a single person, I want friends who are in relationships or married because that's the point I'm at in my life and I want that and I just don't want to be around single people who complain about men. I just feel like having friends who constantly complain about men and speaks negatively about them just puts negative energy onto your life and stunts any progress that you want to happen for your love life. Imagine wanting a relationship and having a friend who tells you men ain't shit every chance they get, lol. I had a friend who'd constantly call this one guy a "fucking idiot" so much that it really started concerning me. She uses that term for every single guy who is unable to read her mind.
I just think people should choose their friends wisely, in general. Pay attention to how they speak about things, how the react to things, etc.
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Originally posted by Cheerio View PostSingle people usually want to do single people things and you just can't do that if you're very serious with someone or married.
Originally posted by Cheerio View PostI want friends who are in relationships or married because that's the point I'm at in my life and I want that and I just don't want to be around single people who complain about men.
Current Arsenal:
XS (Full Bottles): Xist (women), Engage, Bliss, PSEL, Babe, Desire Me+, XS196 (Girlfriend Blend), Fantasy, Love Boat, Tease, Goddess Blend, Sweetness, P86, Connections, Mascot, Fairytale, Flirt, P96, Glow, Bitch (XS124), XSP106, XSR46, XS189
Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow, Vibe, Inbetween, Odyssey.
LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha
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Originally posted by Cheerio View PostI just think people should choose their friends wisely, in general. Pay attention to how they speak about things, how the react to things, etc. [/FONT]
Friends, real friends, are good for you and are looking out for your good - even if it's sometimes imperfectly
Toxic people are toxic, avoid them.You're never too old to learn NuTrix ^_~
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Originally posted by siren View PostI am closest with my friends that are not married. I don't drop them if I'm in a relationship, unlike others.
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