Values: Be Honest

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

AD IN POSts

Collapse

Do you prefer to have friends with the same relationship status as you?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Do you prefer to have friends with the same relationship status as you?

    Are your close friends usually friends who have the same relationship status as you? Do you feel comfortable in confiding in people who don't share the same relationship status as you?
    Current Arsenal:

    XS (Full Bottles): Xist (women), Engage, Bliss, PSEL, Babe, Desire Me+, XS196 (Girlfriend Blend), Fantasy, Love Boat, Tease, Goddess Blend, Sweetness, P86, Connections, Mascot

    Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Flirt, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow

    LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha

  • #2
    I look for friends who are either in relationships or are also looking to get married soon. I believe that surrounding myself with people who are in healthy, happy, and loving relationships will help that manifest into my life as well. But also, my chances of being introduced to a single friend of theirs increases as opposed to being friends with someone who is single. It's also important that not only is my friend also seeking a serious relationship, but that our goals align because I'm not trying to hear excuses or have anyone throw shade at me because they aren't confident enough to go after what they want; been there, done that.
    Collection: Innocence, DM+, Sexy Confidence, Vibe, Sweetness, Bitch, Love Boat, Bliss, Happiness, Neno, PSEL, Temptress, Engage, Madame, Comply, Thinker, Glow, DHEAS, Outspoken (+s), Sport, Flirt, Goddess, Tease, P82, P83, P96, xs194, xsr69, xsr46, xs189, xs190, xs191, xs130, xs196, xs201, xs202
    different color = sample (s)

    Comment


    • #3
      Im not necessarily an open person so i dont think id mind befriending someone single if I was in a relationship.
      in the sense that i dont tell my business so i dont think id have to worry too much about my single friend hating on me or anything. Most of my friendships are platonic.

      and I dont mind befriending people in relationships currently

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by OutspokenOne View Post
        Are your close friends usually friends who have the same relationship status as you?
        Nope. I like the variety

        Originally posted by OutspokenOne View Post
        Do you feel comfortable in confiding in people who don't share the same relationship status as you?
        I confide in people I trust. Their relationship status doesn't seem to actually have a baring on that...whether or not they have a sensible head on their shoulders plays a much larger role...
        You're never too old to learn NuTrix ^_~

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Cheerio View Post
          I look for friends who are either in relationships or are also looking to get married soon. I believe that surrounding myself with people who are in healthy, happy, and loving relationships will help that manifest into my life as well. But also, my chances of being introduced to a single friend of theirs increases as opposed to being friends with someone who is single. It's also important that not only is my friend also seeking a serious relationship, but that our goals align because I'm not trying to hear excuses or have anyone throw shade at me because they aren't confident enough to go after what they want; been there, done that.
          I really enjoyed reading your response. I never thought about it that way because I've always had friends who were usually single. I recently met some girls who are in relationships and their friends are also in relationships. So I realized that maybe if I become better friends with them, that I too, could potentially meet a guy through our friend group.
          Current Arsenal:

          XS (Full Bottles): Xist (women), Engage, Bliss, PSEL, Babe, Desire Me+, XS196 (Girlfriend Blend), Fantasy, Love Boat, Tease, Goddess Blend, Sweetness, P86, Connections, Mascot

          Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Flirt, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow

          LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by LegendaryCharisma View Post
            Im not necessarily an open person so i dont think id mind befriending someone single if I was in a relationship.
            in the sense that i dont tell my business so i dont think id have to worry too much about my single friend hating on me or anything. Most of my friendships are platonic.

            and I dont mind befriending people in relationships currently
            That's what I think about as well. I told myself from now on, I don't want people to know about my dating life or my relationship because I've realized that some people can give you the wrong advice about your partner which messes up your relationship. However, sometimes it is good to confide in others because they can give you a perspective that you aren't able to see initially because you're blinded in love (ex. a friend pointing out a flaw about your partner even though you thought that flaw wasn't a big deal).

            Now when it comes to someone being single, should we default their advice just because they are single? If someone is giving honest advice that may not be exactly what a person wants to hear, should we deem that single person bitter?*

            * I'm not trying to miscontrue your statement, I'm just trying to ask more open-ended questions to get the discussion flowing.
            Current Arsenal:

            XS (Full Bottles): Xist (women), Engage, Bliss, PSEL, Babe, Desire Me+, XS196 (Girlfriend Blend), Fantasy, Love Boat, Tease, Goddess Blend, Sweetness, P86, Connections, Mascot

            Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Flirt, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow

            LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by NuTrix View Post

              Nope. I like the variety



              I confide in people I trust. Their relationship status doesn't seem to actually have a baring on that...whether or not they have a sensible head on their shoulders plays a much larger role...
              That's a very smart perspective you have... mind > relationship status
              Current Arsenal:

              XS (Full Bottles): Xist (women), Engage, Bliss, PSEL, Babe, Desire Me+, XS196 (Girlfriend Blend), Fantasy, Love Boat, Tease, Goddess Blend, Sweetness, P86, Connections, Mascot

              Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Flirt, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow

              LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha

              Comment


              • #8
                So I asked this question because last weekend, I hung out with two girls and they both have boyfriends. And sometimes they would talk about their boyfriends/being in a relationship and I felt awkward because I've been single for a long time. I would like to make friends and they are a fun group, it just feels weird when they boast about their relationships and I'm like the third wheel. However I want to still be supportive of their relationships and listen to them. I don't believe I'm a hater or will give malicious advice to them...I just feel, I don't have much to add? I hope I'm making sense.

                I also feel more comfortable with talking to my single friends about my dating life compared to women in relationships. I was talking to a coworker about something and all the sudden she goes "omg i could never imagine being single! Like how would i survive?!" In a way, I felt she was trying to pity me? And not everyone who is in a relationship acts like this, but I feel there are some women that they try to make you feel bad for being single...like they feel in a way superior for being in a relationship.
                Current Arsenal:

                XS (Full Bottles): Xist (women), Engage, Bliss, PSEL, Babe, Desire Me+, XS196 (Girlfriend Blend), Fantasy, Love Boat, Tease, Goddess Blend, Sweetness, P86, Connections, Mascot

                Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Flirt, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow

                LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by OutspokenOne View Post

                  I really enjoyed reading your response. I never thought about it that way because I've always had friends who were usually single. I recently met some girls who are in relationships and their friends are also in relationships. So I realized that maybe if I become better friends with them, that I too, could potentially meet a guy through our friend group.
                  There's this gem that I have been looking for for a few minutes now. I really want to share it with you (as well as other women who are interested). It basically is a guideline for women who want to get married, or even if you're not ready for anything that serious yet, it's still a great guide for finding a partner. On the list, there's something that says to befriend women instead of men because men will want to keep you to themselves, women will introduce you to their single friends. It also has something based on age as well that I think is helpful. Gosh, I'm mad I can't find it in my hypergamy folder. But when I do, I'll link it!

                  In response to the post above, you can always join the conversation and mention that you're single + joke that if their bf has any single friends, let a girl know! You guys can also plan a huge hangout where they invite their single friends as well, etc.

                  ETA: I found it, and it's 4 pages long, but I'm having second thoughts about posting it because there are a couple of things on there that some might find offensive and I do not want to offend anyone at all. But basically it says what I already said, more female friends means getting introduced to single men, lol.
                  Last edited by Cheerio; 09-07-2019, 08:04 PM.
                  Collection: Innocence, DM+, Sexy Confidence, Vibe, Sweetness, Bitch, Love Boat, Bliss, Happiness, Neno, PSEL, Temptress, Engage, Madame, Comply, Thinker, Glow, DHEAS, Outspoken (+s), Sport, Flirt, Goddess, Tease, P82, P83, P96, xs194, xsr69, xsr46, xs189, xs190, xs191, xs130, xs196, xs201, xs202
                  different color = sample (s)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by OutspokenOne View Post
                    Now when it comes to someone being single, should we default their advice just because they are single? If someone is giving honest advice that may not be exactly what a person wants to hear, should we deem that single person bitter?*

                    * I'm not trying to miscontrue your statement, I'm just trying to ask more open-ended questions to get the discussion flowing.
                    Anyone can offer relationship advice. The grain of salt part is if their advice is relevant.
                    Do they have experience with the topic? Are they projecting? What you think and feel will not be what someone else does more often than not, but different perspectives can be valuable. Even if what they offer is coming from a place of ignorance, it's still a perspective and has potential to have value. If it doesn't, it's easy enough to consider and then dismiss. If they sound bitter, they are, lol, but they may have good reason. Maybe their previous choice(s) wasn't/weren't stellar...it takes two...



                    Originally posted by OutspokenOne View Post
                    I don't believe I'm a hater or will give malicious advice to them...I just feel, I don't have much to add? I hope I'm making sense.

                    I also feel more comfortable with talking to my single friends about my dating life compared to women in relationships. I was talking to a coworker about something and all the sudden she goes "omg i could never imagine being single! Like how would i survive?!" In a way, I felt she was trying to pity me? And not everyone who is in a relationship acts like this, but I feel there are some women that they try to make you feel bad for being single...like they feel in a way superior for being in a relationship.
                    If you haven't anything to add, there's nothing wrong with that. I don't like to give relationship advice unless asked specifically and even then I usually ask open ended questions that require the inquierer to think about what they want and try to help them come to their own relationship conclusions. After all, no matter what anyone shares with us - we will always wind up doing exactly what we want to do, good, bad or indifferent

                    A statement like, "how would I survive?!" is very revealing about the other person. They do not feel they could be independent of a relationship. They see it as a bad thing, a crisis, that they could not survive without a partner. If they pity you, it is a projection of their own fear and concern that they are throwing over you. It has to do with them, not you.
                    Try to recognise when someone is projecting their feelings on you and feel free to dismiss it.
                    For instance, if you are single, independant and taking care of yourself just fine and have no anxiety over how you are going to "survive", why would you need to be concerned if someone is throwing pity your way because THEY cannot fathom independence outside of a relationship? It's irrelevant for you. Their pity is misplaced.
                    It may not even be malevolent. They may genuinely feel bad that you don't have someone to "take care of you" or at least help carry the load (bills, work, life...)
                    If you do feel someone is talking down to you, it could be some are jealous. You are doing what they believe they cannot and they may secretly, or not so secretly, resent you for it because it spot lights what they believe they are unable (or unwilling) to do for themselves.
                    Only you can discern which it may be. Politely point out the projectors, letting them know you understand how that may make them feel, but that is not an issue for you. Distance yourself from the toxic ones.

                    Hehe, that's my nickel and a half...

                    You're never too old to learn NuTrix ^_~

                    Comment


                    • Cheerio
                      Cheerio commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Yup. That comment was a little side-eye worthy. Some people just really aren't your friends. Some comments don't need to be made.

                  • #11
                    It doesn't matter the relationship status, there is lessons to be learned from all types of people. It really just breaks down to the quality of the person and the friendship. Also some friendships cover all the bases and some don't. So there very well might be some people you feel more comfortable talking about dating with. It's just learning to weed out the comments others make. Is it constructive advice or their own insecurities being pushed on you. You got this!

                    Comment


                    • #12
                      I am closest with my friends that are not married. I don't drop them if I'm in a relationship, unlike others.

                      Comment


                      • #13
                        Originally posted by NuTrix View Post
                        Anyone can offer relationship advice. The grain of salt part is if their advice is relevant.
                        Do they have experience with the topic? Are they projecting? What you think and feel will not be what someone else does more often than not, but different perspectives can be valuable. Even if what they offer is coming from a place of ignorance, it's still a perspective and has potential to have value. If it doesn't, it's easy enough to consider and then dismiss. If they sound bitter, they are, lol, but they may have good reason. Maybe their previous choice(s) wasn't/weren't stellar...it takes two...
                        Originally posted by NuTrix View Post
                        After all, no matter what anyone shares with us - we will always wind up doing exactly what we want to do, good, bad or indifferent
                        Wow, you have a wise soul...like seriously. Usually I don't like to give relationship advice because I have limited experience and people usually don't listen to me (and then end up listening to me anyways) but you're right...it never hurts to hear a different perspective...even if it comes off ugly.

                        Originally posted by NuTrix View Post
                        A statement like, "how would I survive?!" is very revealing about the other person. They do not feel they could be independent of a relationship. They see it as a bad thing, a crisis, that they could not survive without a partner. If they pity you, it is a projection of their own fear and concern that they are throwing over you. It has to do with them, not you.
                        Try to recognise when someone is projecting their feelings on you and feel free to dismiss it.
                        Yeah I was definitely taken back from it. She definitely rubbed me off the wrong way with that statement. I didn't realize she was projecting...I thought she was really just trying to say a sly comment. But it makes sense, because that morning she was complaining about troubles she was having with her boyfriend before she made that comment.

                        Originally posted by NuTrix View Post
                        For instance, if you are single, independant and taking care of yourself just fine and have no anxiety over how you are going to "survive", why would you need to be concerned if someone is throwing pity your way because THEY cannot fathom independence outside of a relationship? It's irrelevant for you. Their pity is misplaced.
                        It may not even be malevolent. They may genuinely feel bad that you don't have someone to "take care of you" or at least help carry the load (bills, work, life...)
                        If you do feel someone is talking down to you, it could be some are jealous. You are doing what they believe they cannot and they may secretly, or not so secretly, resent you for it because it spot lights what they believe they are unable (or unwilling) to do for themselves.
                        Only you can discern which it may be. Politely point out the projectors, letting them know you understand how that may make them feel, but that is not an issue for you. Distance yourself from the toxic ones.
                        That's exactly what I'm working on, trying to be content with being single. Learning to find happiness whether a partner is present or not.
                        Yesss...thank you for adding your insight. I really enjoy your perspective on things...it made me rethink about everything.
                        Current Arsenal:

                        XS (Full Bottles): Xist (women), Engage, Bliss, PSEL, Babe, Desire Me+, XS196 (Girlfriend Blend), Fantasy, Love Boat, Tease, Goddess Blend, Sweetness, P86, Connections, Mascot

                        Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Flirt, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow

                        LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha

                        Comment


                        • NuTrix
                          NuTrix commented
                          Editing a comment

                      • #14
                        Originally posted by OutspokenOne View Post
                        Now when it comes to someone being single, should we default their advice just because they are single?
                        I've always hated when people would say that you shouldn't take advice from single people. This is stupid for various reasons. That person is single for a reason. Take me for example, single for almost 5 years because I was in a relationship that gave me the biggest epiphany of my entire life. A HUGE reality check that I needed. Now, I can sense red flags miles away & am able to let another girl know if something is a red flag because I've experienced it before. There are people who've been married before who are now single who can give you some insight on things they wish they could have changed or things they could have done differently, and that can help you on your relationship journey as well.
                        Collection: Innocence, DM+, Sexy Confidence, Vibe, Sweetness, Bitch, Love Boat, Bliss, Happiness, Neno, PSEL, Temptress, Engage, Madame, Comply, Thinker, Glow, DHEAS, Outspoken (+s), Sport, Flirt, Goddess, Tease, P82, P83, P96, xs194, xsr69, xsr46, xs189, xs190, xs191, xs130, xs196, xs201, xs202
                        different color = sample (s)

                        Comment


                        • #15
                          Originally posted by siren View Post
                          I am closest with my friends that are not married. I don't drop them if I'm in a relationship, unlike others.
                          You know what's so interesting? I noticed that a lot of women will do this and when they have progressed into the relationship, they realized they neglected their existing friends. So they will try to reach out to their existing friends (who are either too busy or no longer present) or they will go on apps like Bumble searching for new friends.

                          I wish some people knew that having a social life doesn't always mean spending time with your significant other...it can involve friends/family too.
                          Current Arsenal:

                          XS (Full Bottles): Xist (women), Engage, Bliss, PSEL, Babe, Desire Me+, XS196 (Girlfriend Blend), Fantasy, Love Boat, Tease, Goddess Blend, Sweetness, P86, Connections, Mascot

                          Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Flirt, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow

                          LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha

                          Comment


                          • #16
                            Originally posted by Cheerio View Post
                            I've always hated when people would say that you shouldn't take advice from single people. This is stupid for various reasons. That person is single for a reason. Take me for example, single for almost 5 years because I was in a relationship that gave me the biggest epiphany of my entire life. A HUGE reality check that I needed. Now, I can sense red flags miles away & am able to let another girl know if something is a red flag because I've experienced it before. There are people who've been married before who are now single who can give you some insight on things they wish they could have changed or things they could have done differently, and that can help you on your relationship journey as well.
                            I 100% agree with you. However some people like to be ignorant and assume that there is a reason someone is single, they must have done something to cause their singlehood. And whatever advice they give, can cause your relationship to go to turmoil. Also some people assume that if you're single, you're bitter so your advice may be malicious. Society looks at single people, especially single women in a pitiful way.
                            Current Arsenal:

                            XS (Full Bottles): Xist (women), Engage, Bliss, PSEL, Babe, Desire Me+, XS196 (Girlfriend Blend), Fantasy, Love Boat, Tease, Goddess Blend, Sweetness, P86, Connections, Mascot

                            Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Flirt, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow

                            LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha

                            Comment


                            • #17
                              Originally posted by OutspokenOne View Post

                              You know what's so interesting? I noticed that a lot of women will do this and when they have progressed into the relationship, they realized they neglected their existing friends. So they will try to reach out to their existing friends (who are either too busy or no longer present) or they will go on apps like Bumble searching for new friends.

                              I wish some people knew that having a social life doesn't always mean spending time with your significant other...it can involve friends/family too.
                              You know what? The more you start to get serious with someone, the more you realize that you can't really have single friends, especially if you're married. I just tried to picture it in my head, and I know of a few instances where this happened. Single people usually want to do single people things and you just can't do that if you're very serious with someone or married. I think a lot of times, friendships usually start to disintegrate on their own, naturally because priorities become different. Sure, you may want to have brunch with your single friend on Saturdays but that's just about it. I don't doubt that married friends can't be friends with single people, but the dynamic will be different and that single friend can't always expect their married friend to be there -- especially if there are children involved as well. It's alllll relative.

                              As a single person, I want friends who are in relationships or married because that's the point I'm at in my life and I want that and I just don't want to be around single people who complain about men. I just feel like having friends who constantly complain about men and speaks negatively about them just puts negative energy onto your life and stunts any progress that you want to happen for your love life. Imagine wanting a relationship and having a friend who tells you men ain't shit every chance they get, lol. I had a friend who'd constantly call this one guy a "fucking idiot" so much that it really started concerning me. She uses that term for every single guy who is unable to read her mind.

                              I just think people should choose their friends wisely, in general. Pay attention to how they speak about things, how the react to things, etc.
                              Collection: Innocence, DM+, Sexy Confidence, Vibe, Sweetness, Bitch, Love Boat, Bliss, Happiness, Neno, PSEL, Temptress, Engage, Madame, Comply, Thinker, Glow, DHEAS, Outspoken (+s), Sport, Flirt, Goddess, Tease, P82, P83, P96, xs194, xsr69, xsr46, xs189, xs190, xs191, xs130, xs196, xs201, xs202
                              different color = sample (s)

                              Comment


                              • #18
                                Originally posted by Cheerio View Post
                                Single people usually want to do single people things and you just can't do that if you're very serious with someone or married.
                                That's why I brought this topic up. Like for example, having a girls night out at the bar. It's not like women in relationships can't go to the bar and have fun. However there is limited fun. Compared to the other two women, I was having simple fun by letting men buy me drinks and chase after me. The other two women just danced and drank. Actually one of them tried to FaceTime their boyfriend while we were out.

                                Originally posted by Cheerio View Post
                                I want friends who are in relationships or married because that's the point I'm at in my life and I want that and I just don't want to be around single people who complain about men.
                                I don't think there is anything wrong being friends with other single women though. There are some single women who probably are like-minded as you and could be a support system. Like she can understand your dating woes as well as share dating advice books, emotional support, give ideas of where to meet eligible men, etc. Married women still complain about men. Actually in my last department, both of my coworkers who have 5+ years of marriage both individually told me "Don't get married."
                                Current Arsenal:

                                XS (Full Bottles): Xist (women), Engage, Bliss, PSEL, Babe, Desire Me+, XS196 (Girlfriend Blend), Fantasy, Love Boat, Tease, Goddess Blend, Sweetness, P86, Connections, Mascot

                                Samples: Innocence, Thinker, Flirt, Celebrity, Temptress, Comply, Glow

                                LPMP: Blatant Invitation, Levitation, Honeyed LP w/ Gotcha

                                Comment


                                • #19
                                  Originally posted by Cheerio View Post
                                  I just think people should choose their friends wisely, in general. Pay attention to how they speak about things, how the react to things, etc. [/FONT]
                                  BOOM! Right here. Your aren't friends with your friend's relationship, you are friends with the person.
                                  Friends, real friends, are good for you and are looking out for your good - even if it's sometimes imperfectly
                                  Toxic people are toxic, avoid them.
                                  You're never too old to learn NuTrix ^_~

                                  Comment


                                  • #20
                                    Originally posted by siren View Post
                                    I am closest with my friends that are not married. I don't drop them if I'm in a relationship, unlike others.
                                    That is definitely an issue with some women in relationships. I'm sure I've done it in the past but definitely don't know. Some people wouldn't still be in a relationship let alone a marriage if they didn't have their girlfriends the level them out. Good friends should be a grounding influence, supportive without over stepping, and a safe space to vent as well.

                                    Comment

                                    Ad down

                                    Collapse

                                    Working...
                                    X