Do you find it hard to make lady friends?

[Cheerio]

Oh my, I didn't even share the good news with you guys. Yesterday, my designer showed me my new logo! I needed to change it and she worked so hard with me on a brand new design and I'm so happy about it!

Posting this in here since my app has something to do with making friends. I'd love for you ladies to test it out once it's developed! Though, I'll warn you that you might not see anyone just yet since it'll be brand new. But more for testing of the features, etc.

[Mysticbeauty]

No, lmao. It was a hard pill to swallow but friendship with her does nothing for me.

She is energy draining.

Well that's clarity!

[Cheerio]

do you like being friends with her?

No, lmao. It was a hard pill to swallow but friendship with her does nothing for me.

She is energy draining.

[Mysticbeauty]

Cheerio sounds like it's a draining relationship for you though.you live and you learn. Just in future relationships be honest about what kind of dynamic you are willing to be involved in. I've definitely limited my interactions with those type of people or just let those associations die off on their own. Just don't feed into what she wants. Even by you saying shame to her, I think she feeds into that. She wants your mothering or attention. It's very interesting the way people seek out their needs. Also if you ever do see her again, wear bitch and inbetween! Maybe she'll listen

[Mysticbeauty]

Cheerio outside of her love drama do you like being friends with her? You will never agree with every one's choices. And when it comes down to it it's her life, her choices, her consequences. Even though we would like people to live a certain way and even think or behave like it's, it's unreasonable. Taking that out of the equation if she just isn't a good friend then yeah, no need to put energy into the relationship. I'm a mother bear at heart so it's hard for me to watch people doing certain things, but that's also why I can seperate it a bit, because I am a mother and you don't get to choose your child's personality. You have to learn acceptance REAL QUICK and love them anyway. So really it comes down to letting go of some control and also just picking and choosing who you spend time with.
You can definitely wholeheartedly tell her your feelings on the subject without shaming her. It is possible. She probably won't listen, she probably even wants the attention and care that you were giving her by being so invested for that little bit. Just being steaight about it, that you aren't that type of friend. That's not the kind of dynamic you want.

[Cheerio]

Cheerio also it's just super frustrating when someone always asks you for advice than doesn't take it.

I cut someone off before doing that. Let's just say, she got demoted to associates, not longer someone I want to call a friend. Recently, she sent me a screen shot of the same guy I told her to block and remove from her life. He is an old ass man who is trying to sell her fantasies. All I responded to the screen shot was "shame." I'm done giving advice. I literally told you what to do a week ago and gave you reasons!

Not to mention, same girl that I'd invite to events, but would give me the runaround constantly but always ended up at some ghetto function.

[Mysticbeauty]

Cheerio also it's just super frustrating when someone always asks you for advice than doesn't take it. It's like you asked me! My sister in law does that all the time. I learner it's just better to practice what I preach. Show them another way! Especially if they hold you in a high enough regard to ask your opinion, they will hopefully start copying some of the things you do that have given you the result they are looking for. Every one has a breaking point or their threshold for bull shit.

[Mysticbeauty]

That's a good point that you brought up. I don't think it's talked enough about. People always assume that some women stay in toxic relationships due to self esteem issues but I'm starting to think some of them get a kick out of it. Some people like chaotic relationships, especially men. I knew a guy that loved to self sabotage relationships and cause an issue, he thought it was funny.

But in my opinion that is low self esteem and low self worth. They aren't at the point in their lives to see the value of not creating unnecessary drama. And to be honest everyone creates drama in their life at one point or another. We've all made things harder on ourselves, even if it's as simple as not doing the dishes when they get dirty and letting them pile up, we just then created more work for ourselves. It's a common theme in life.
I feel like there is a lot of basic needs and basic behaviors we all do but they show up differently and it different intensity's. When I see a more dramatic display of that behavior I always go and check in with myself. It's always reflective even if it's super frustrating to see. Drama is an addiction like anything else. People feed on it and crave the excitement, it's just finding other more healthy ways to fill that need.

[Mysticbeauty]

This is going to sonud terrible but I'm at a point where I'll give you advice once and if you don't listen, it's on you. I had a friend who always came to me for advice. I'd even go as far as being on mute while she was on the phone with a guy and telling her what to say. At what point do we start to hold women accountable for wanting to stay in these toxic relationships? And the worst part is... some of them find that shit exciting. Which lets you know nothing else is happening in their lives. They only get excitement and an adrenaline rush from toxic relationships.

Call it out as lovingly and compassionate as possible. Just say I love you, but I'm seeing a pattern.also just ask them. Is this type of relationship exciting for you? Sometimes they haven't put the pieces together and you have to learn to ask the right questions so they can come to it themselves. Also it's about setting your boundaries, you are in no way expected to be the driving force in their relationsbip, that is not your job. If you take that on that is on you. Don't enable, but also if it's a relationship you value, love her enough and be understanding that she's on her own journey. You could even just tell her that it hurts you seeing her out herself through that. There are soo many ways. But be honest with yourself and her where it's applicable.

[OutspokenOne]

I knew one who said creating drama was a way for him to get a woman to break it off with him. He would do d*ck things until a woman would call it quits in order to "avoid break up drama" from her - in that he wouldn't have to explain why he was breaking up. Somehow, in his mind, it was easier to be an ass than to tell a woman he wasn't interested anymore because he didn't want her pestering him about why he didn't want to see her anymore. For him, it was a "cleaner" breakup if she did the dumping. Mature much???

Ewwwww he sounds disgusting. I feel like there is a handful of men out there that do something very similar to that.

[Ildergreier]

Mature much???

Clearly he was not ready to be in a relationship.

[NuTrix]

That's a good point that you brought up. I don't think it's talked enough about. People always assume that some women stay in toxic relationships due to self esteem issues but I'm starting to think some of them get a kick out of it. Some people like chaotic relationships, especially men. I knew a guy that loved to self sabotage relationships and cause an issue, he thought it was funny.

I knew one who said creating drama was a way for him to get a woman to break it off with him. He would do d*ck things until a woman would call it quits in order to "avoid break up drama" from her - in that he wouldn't have to explain why he was breaking up. Somehow, in his mind, it was easier to be an ass than to tell a woman he wasn't interested anymore because he didn't want her pestering him about why he didn't want to see her anymore. For him, it was a "cleaner" breakup if she did the dumping. Mature much???

[Ildergreier]

They only get excitement and an adrenaline rush from toxic relationships.

Yeah, some madness in an otherwise boring life.

[OutspokenOne]

This is going to sonud terrible but I'm at a point where I'll give you advice once and if you don't listen, it's on you. I had a friend who always came to me for advice. I'd even go as far as being on mute while she was on the phone with a guy and telling her what to say. At what point do we start to hold women accountable for wanting to stay in these toxic relationships? And the worst part is... some of them find that shit exciting. Which lets you know nothing else is happening in their lives. They only get excitement and an adrenaline rush from toxic relationships.

That's a good point that you brought up. I don't think it's talked enough about. People always assume that some women stay in toxic relationships due to self esteem issues but I'm starting to think some of them get a kick out of it. Some people like chaotic relationships, especially men. I knew a guy that loved to self sabotage relationships and cause an issue, he thought it was funny.

[OutspokenOne]

This.

But this is difficult since too many do things before they are actually ready to do them, so then they start to blame others for it (you talked me into it...), so I come with suggestions and ask questions that makes them think for themselves, instead of blatant say "what is wrong with you, you need to get rid of this bloke".

That is a good way to approach it. I've learned that some people will do whatever they want, no matter how good the advice you give them. And sometimes your friends may not really know. For example, I was telling my coworker that I was hesistant to invite someone to a dinner party because he has been flakey lately. She advised me to not ask him out. But I later decided that I should ask him out to give him another chance. The guy came to the dinner party with me and I had a great time with him. So sometimes its wise not to listen to your friends.

[Cheerio]

But this is difficult since too many do things before they are actually ready to do them, so then they start to blame others for it (you talked me into it...), so I come with suggestions and ask questions that makes them think for themselves, instead of blatant say "what is wrong with you, you need to get rid of this bloke".

This is going to sonud terrible but I'm at a point where I'll give you advice once and if you don't listen, it's on you. I had a friend who always came to me for advice. I'd even go as far as being on mute while she was on the phone with a guy and telling her what to say. At what point do we start to hold women accountable for wanting to stay in these toxic relationships? And the worst part is... some of them find that shit exciting. Which lets you know nothing else is happening in their lives. They only get excitement and an adrenaline rush from toxic relationships.

[Mysticbeauty]

Blackpool yay I'm glad you love bitch and InBetween too! That's what I wore all last week, I couldn't stop!

[Mysticbeauty]

This.

But this is difficult since too many do things before they are actually ready to do them, so then they start to blame others for it (you talked me into it...), so I come with suggestions and ask questions that makes them think for themselves, instead of blatant say "what is wrong with you, you need to get rid of this bloke".

Yes absolutely, to be empowered, they need to make the choice themselves!

[Mysticbeauty]

Blackpool yes kill them with kindness has worked for me as well. They can't say anything! But I've also noticed sometimes people will take my niceness for weakness. Which is bull shit. It takes strength to let things roll off your back and to see the good in others and to be forgiving. That shit ain't always easier. It'd be alot easier for me to be a bitch, but I choose the other route.

[NuTrix]