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Ladies and possibly some gentlemen - advice needed

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  • Ladies and possibly some gentlemen - advice needed

    So I have a situation ship and decided that I require some phero help... Let's start with basic stats: me: female. 28. Target: male 24 soon 25.

    I'm stuck in a bit of almost a friend zone. The target in question happens to live with me and has lived with me for the last 4 years. We have known each other for over 5 years now. Whilst we are on bedroom terms he has previously told me that he doesn't see us as a relationship. Used to but doesn't anymore. A lot of crap happened in these years so it's all kinda messy but I was wondering whether there is a blend that could help me get out of that mother of all friendzones and into a girlfriend zone...

  • #2
    You're living together and having regular sex. How is that NOT a relationship? What are your day to day interactions like? Is he sleeping around?

    Comment


    • #3
      He's not sleeping with anyone else. Said he wouldn't mind meeting someone or a casual encounter. Day to day. We have a lot in common however we rarely get a chance to hang out just the two of us outside of the house. We're pretty damn close (emotional support, he tells me everything about his day etc). He doesn't see it as a relationship and last time we talked on the subject was a year ago when he stated as mentioned above.

      Comment


      • #4
        My spidey-sense tells me that there is a critical part of this story that you're leaving out.

        Example: If I were to ask you if he's gay, and your response was "No.........I mean he's fooled around with guys a few times when he was drunk........."......that type of thing.

        You've known each other 5 years, you're living together, you have sex, you're emotionally intimate, and he explicitly doesn't want a relationship with you.

        Something doesn't add up here........

        Comment


        • #5
          Welcome to the community SecretV.
          Ok...it turned out that all Gentlemen are here, (not some)
          TheLaw is right. His spidey-senses are accurate.

          Please feel free to open up all details, to receive perfect advices. Everything is Fair to speak In Love and DiscoverXS.

          Comment


          • #6
            I went through a phase where I was looking for men who had a track record of never settling down and had their longest relationships at under 6 months. Not my proudest moment, but I would get them to want me long term and then I would ghost.

            Alongside the use of pheros, I played games. I'm not sure if this would work in your situation but the general approach was to give them space. I did not press for a relationship, I did not cling. I was very independent while I show cased "long term relationship qualities" I catered to their ego and tried to make them feel special and masculine. In short, I chameleoned into an independent and trustworthy version of a woman they ideally wanted. I went back and forth between sexual blends and bonding blends. PSEL, tease. A shit ton of cops and lightly bonding pheros from another company. What I wore depended on the situation. I stayed away from overly bonding pheros.

            I'm not sure pheros alone will get you out of the friend zone. People who have trouble settling down usually have some underlying issues that they need to work out (speaking as someone who finds the idea of settling down unappealing).

            EDITED TO ADD: I posted this after quickly reading your first post and somehow missed that he used to see a relationship with you. Feel free to ignore most if not my entire post

            Comment


            • OutspokenOne
              OutspokenOne commented
              Editing a comment
              Wow you just gave the recipe to finessing commitment out of men lol

          • #7
            Originally posted by Isis View Post
            I went through a phase where I was looking for men who had a track record of never settling down and had their longest relationships at under 6 months. Not my proudest moment, but I would get them to want me long term and then I would ghost.

            Alongside the use of pheros, I played games. I'm not sure if this would work in your situation but the general approach was to give them space. I did not press for a relationship, I did not cling. I was very independent while I show cased "long term relationship qualities" I catered to their ego and tried to make them feel special and masculine. In short, I chameleoned into an independent and trustworthy version of a woman they ideally wanted. I went back and forth between sexual blends and bonding blends. PSEL, tease. A shit ton of cops and lightly bonding pheros from another company. What I wore depended on the situation. I stayed away from overly bonding pheros.

            I'm not sure pheros alone will get you out of the friend zone. People who have trouble settling down usually have some underlying issues that they need to work out (speaking as someone who finds the idea of settling down unappealing).

            EDITED TO ADD: I posted this after quickly reading your first post and somehow missed that he used to see a relationship with you. Feel free to ignore most if not my entire post
            I loved your recipe for taking down some morons a couple of notch, though.
            Arsenal

            ??????Full bottles: Sport, Celebrity, Innocence, Connections, And Babe, Cohesion, Temptress, Thinker, Fantasy, Psel, Tease, Xist x 2, Odyssey, LoveBoat, Vibe, Madame, Bliss, Summer Daze (XS122), Fairy Tale Limitless, XSP86, Engage, Happiness, Sweetness, Glow, Bitch, XS194, xs189, xs190, xs191, xs193, xs196, xs199, Naked Gun, Mascot, Pencil Thin Mustache and XSP102, Goddess, Api. DM oil.

            LPMP: Heart & Soul, Lumina, Cougar, MLH, Blatant Invitation, Sexology, Sexpionage, Audacious, Levitation, Popularity Potion, LFM, LFN, True Confession, Empathy.

            Comment


            • Isis
              Isis commented
              Editing a comment

          • #8
            Last edited by Delight; 04-05-2018, 04:23 AM.

            Comment


            • #9
              Delight you'd be correct.

              as for leaving parts out. Well it's been a year since him and his abusive excuse of an ex broke up after a 3.5 years of an on/off shit show

              Comment


              • #10
                Originally posted by SecretV View Post
                Delight you'd be correct.

                as for leaving parts out. Well it's been a year since him and his abusive excuse of an ex broke up after a 3.5 years of an on/off shit show
                If this were reversed, and you were a male that had been emotionally close to a female while she was in an abusive relationship, I would say get away from her...........fast.

                In your situation, you want to start a relationship with a man with poor boundaries, which is probably why he's f*cking his roommate.

                Since you posted a question, I think it's only respectful that I answer it, but please be advised, this is very self destructive:

                He wants drama, and he doesn't want to be in charge, so whatever mixes will make you an alpha-bitch............would probably be most effective.

                Comment


                • SecretV
                  SecretV commented
                  Editing a comment
                  he can't stand drama and since everything came out he wants nothing to to with her. Sadly the problem with relationship abuse is that it's easy to spit unless you're involved.

                • theLaw
                  theLaw commented
                  Editing a comment
                  What people say.........is what they think about themselves (their own personal narrative).
                  What people do (behaviour)..........is who they are (see reality).

                • Ildergreier
                  Ildergreier commented
                  Editing a comment
                  The Law is right here.

              • #11
                I'm inclined to agree with theLaw . But don't expect it to ever be a healthy relationship. If he's willing to tolerate an abusive relationship for 3.5 years then he must have some unresolved issues. Whatever other relationship that he gets into he's going to bring those issues with him. If he subconsciously feels that he deserves a shit show then he's sure to create one in the next relationship. I believe that you should think long and hard before starting a relationship with this guy. You would probably be better off trying to find a healthy, well adjusted man. Don't delude yourself into thinking that you can rescue or change this man. That's an unrealistic expectation. You can't save him. Only he can save himself.

                Good luck

                Comment


                • #12
                  Last edited by Delight; 04-05-2018, 12:26 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #13
                    Anyway, for The OP, I think this man is a no, no, now. Sorry.
                    Arsenal

                    ??????Full bottles: Sport, Celebrity, Innocence, Connections, And Babe, Cohesion, Temptress, Thinker, Fantasy, Psel, Tease, Xist x 2, Odyssey, LoveBoat, Vibe, Madame, Bliss, Summer Daze (XS122), Fairy Tale Limitless, XSP86, Engage, Happiness, Sweetness, Glow, Bitch, XS194, xs189, xs190, xs191, xs193, xs196, xs199, Naked Gun, Mascot, Pencil Thin Mustache and XSP102, Goddess, Api. DM oil.

                    LPMP: Heart & Soul, Lumina, Cougar, MLH, Blatant Invitation, Sexology, Sexpionage, Audacious, Levitation, Popularity Potion, LFM, LFN, True Confession, Empathy.

                    Comment


                    • #14
                      I would appreciate if people stopped assuming. every rule has an exception. and I'm not trying to save anyone. I'm a woman not a puppy shelter. As specified I'm not asking for judgement. I'm asking for mone advice here.

                      if you knew me and him as people you would also know that there's no need for "saving" or "changing". I'm simply looking for something to help build on what we have.

                      Delight thank you. I will most likely try those blends.

                      theLaw Scottie2Hottie I appreciate your concern however there's a lot more to the situation than I'd like to go into on a public forum especially considering some aspects of things.

                      Comment


                      • #15
                        Granted I don't know every detail but I will say that there's a lot to be said about human nature or direct personal experiences with certain situations. That doesn't mean that you should discount people's interpretations outright. Being defensive doesn't serve you well. Everyone here is expressing an insight or opinion in your best interest. We all genuinely care about you. Sometimes the truth is the hardest thing to see.

                        Comment


                        • Ildergreier
                          Ildergreier commented
                          Editing a comment
                          I think I love you.

                        • Scottie2Hottie
                          Scottie2Hottie commented
                          Editing a comment
                          Lol Love you too Hild

                        • SecretV
                          SecretV commented
                          Editing a comment
                          hence why I appreciate the concern.

                      • #16
                        Originally posted by SecretV View Post
                        I would appreciate if people stopped assuming. every rule has an exception. and I'm not trying to save anyone. I'm a woman not a puppy shelter. As specified I'm not asking for judgement. I'm asking for mone advice here.

                        if you knew me and him as people you would also know that there's no need for "saving" or "changing". I'm simply looking for something to help build on what we have.

                        Delight thank you. I will most likely try those blends.

                        theLaw Scottie2Hottie I appreciate your concern however there's a lot more to the situation than I'd like to go into on a public forum especially considering some aspects of things.
                        Ok, so why are you here and complaining about this situation again, if asking for a pheromone advice is all you want?

                        Ignoring the OP from now on.
                        Arsenal

                        ??????Full bottles: Sport, Celebrity, Innocence, Connections, And Babe, Cohesion, Temptress, Thinker, Fantasy, Psel, Tease, Xist x 2, Odyssey, LoveBoat, Vibe, Madame, Bliss, Summer Daze (XS122), Fairy Tale Limitless, XSP86, Engage, Happiness, Sweetness, Glow, Bitch, XS194, xs189, xs190, xs191, xs193, xs196, xs199, Naked Gun, Mascot, Pencil Thin Mustache and XSP102, Goddess, Api. DM oil.

                        LPMP: Heart & Soul, Lumina, Cougar, MLH, Blatant Invitation, Sexology, Sexpionage, Audacious, Levitation, Popularity Potion, LFM, LFN, True Confession, Empathy.

                        Comment


                        • #17
                          Originally posted by SecretV View Post
                          ..... there's a lot more to the situation than I'd like to go into on a public forum especially considering some aspects of things.
                          Hello SecretV,
                          By far you have received correct product advice as a primary starter, Xist(women) and p96.
                          All the people who are replying, have been reading and discussing several issues of old and new users since years in here and other forums, so, through eagle eye view, they can make out where the matter is headed towards.
                          If you start a journal then you will be able to discuss there in details safely, because the journals are only viewable to members here. It wont be visible in google searches or anywhere else.

                          Comment


                          • #18
                            Thank you Falvinski. I've had a recommendation for stacking Connections or Love Boat with PSEL, wasn't too sure about it as if I remember correctly PSEL is a very sexual pheromone, not sure on Love Boat either since I'm not overly familiar with it.

                            Comment


                            • #19
                              Originally posted by SecretV View Post
                              Thank you Falvinski. I've had a recommendation for stacking Connections or Love Boat with PSEL, wasn't too sure about it as if I remember correctly PSEL is a very sexual pheromone, not sure on Love Boat either since I'm not overly familiar with it.
                              I've paired connections with sexual blends and didn't see much success personally. Though it might have just been the person and situation. Loveboat + PSEL or Tease on the other hand worked remarkably well. Loveboat + cops itself was already pretty great for me when it came building on feelings that already exist (or are underlying). It felt more like a social with people who weren't that deep into their feelings

                              a few women here seem to love xist/w. I'm a little put off at having to build it up but I ordered it anyway!

                              Comment


                              • #20
                                Let me know how xist works cause I'm really curious

                                Comment

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