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Should you ever acknowledge a boobing/ioi?

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  • Should you ever acknowledge a boobing/ioi?

    I've been boobed a couple of times by a married work colleague, but never acknowledged, or said anything about her boob pressed against my arm.

    Is this the best course of action?

    I purposely didn't say anything in case it made her stop in the future.
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  • #2
    Do you think she even knows that her boob was on your arm? Yes, next time say something about it. Honestly, I don't think this was purposely done.
    When I was working on a desktop and a client was hanging over me watch me edit a video, her chest was nearly on top my head, and I know this was not purposely done. Some people lack the concept of personal space.

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    • #3
      I'd look for other IOI's to see if it was done purposefully. It becomes more accurate when you observe body language in clusters.

      I have accidentally boobed people I have absolutely zero interest in unknowingly. The more comfortable/closer I am with the person, the more likely they are to be victims of my boob grazing/pressing since I am more inclined to be in their personal space.

      If it doesn't bother you (and it seems like it doesn't based on your post}, it sounds like you've chosen the best course of action. (which is none)

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      • #4
        Originally posted by rtj666 View Post
        I've been boobed a couple of times by a married work colleague, but never acknowledged, or said anything about her boob pressed against my arm.

        Is this the best course of action?

        I purposely didn't say anything in case it made her stop in the future.
        send her a link to this thread.

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        • #5
          Doesn't matter what she pressed against you, she's married. Let it go.
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          • #6
            Originally posted by Scottie2Hottie View Post
            Doesn't matter what she pressed against you, she's married. Let it go.
            I've no intention of pursuing her, but was just wondering if I should jokingly mention it.
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            • #7
              Originally posted by rtj666 View Post

              I've no intention of pursuing her, but was just wondering if I should jokingly mention it.
              I have done heavy research into nonverbal communication, and a simple answer is: no, do not mention it.

              Additionally, as Scottie said, drop the idea of married women. Even I won't go after a married women. There is a certain amount of respect you need to have in others and your own dignity. If you are asking or even thinking about it as a joke, you are asking if it is okay to joke with a married woman about her boobing you, which is flirting or negging... which is flirting.

              Just...let it go. And in the future if someone boobs you then don't mention it. A butt bump you can bump back or joke, but don't with boobing.

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              • #8
                If you decide to acknowledge it and make her aware of it, understand that a couple of possible responses will occur.

                1) things will be awkward.
                She'll be more conscious of what she's doing and therefore keep her space. Probably avoid you for some indefinite amount of time.

                2) things will be awkward in the other direction.
                Hopefully she isn't trying to flirt with you, considering she's married. If she is, there's going to be a whole lot of drama if anything ever gets out. You might keep it secret, but no word on what she may or may not let slip.

                3) things will be respectful.
                She'll acknowledge it, be more mindful of it, but nothing changes in terms of friendship or how you treat/talk to each other.

                4) homewrecker (unlikely considering your post #6 of not pursuing her).
                If you're into that kind of thing... You can already tell the others here (including myself) don't encourage it just out of respect but if that's your thing... hey, you're an adult. Whatever decisions you make, own it for both the benefits and the consequences, whatever those may be.

                What could you do if this bothers you? Nonverbal cues. Pull away gently and reposition yourself into another comfortable stance/posture. Do it as if it's without thinking. If she's trying to flirt with you, this will hopefully nonverbally cue her to calm down and stop. If she's doing it on accident, she'll just reposition accordingly.

                Something tells me you're already doing this though.
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                • #9
                  Originally posted by ObscuredFacade View Post

                  I have done heavy research into nonverbal communication, and a simple answer is: no, do not mention it.

                  Additionally, as Scottie said, drop the idea of married women. Even I won't go after a married women. There is a certain amount of respect you need to have in others and your own dignity. If you are asking or even thinking about it as a joke, you are asking if it is okay to joke with a married woman about her boobing you, which is flirting or negging... which is flirting.

                  Just...let it go. And in the future if someone boobs you then don't mention it. A butt bump you can bump back or joke, but don't with boobing.
                  Jesus guys, you're over analysing the fact that she's married. I don't flirt with her, and I know she's not going to leave her husband for me. I only mentioned she was married just as an additional detail. It's the boobing/ioi that I'm asking about. Hence, the title of the post.
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                  • #10
                    How about, excuse, can I have some more space? I'm with LeFemme, she may not even know she did it. Some ladies with Big Boobs have to wear so much material for the support that a bra is thick and firm. It's like you getting groped in a Carhart snowsuit. Another good one is a bulletproof vest. Don't assume the lady cop that just wrestled you to the ground is boobing you.

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                    • #11
                      Would it be funny to say that you should try boobing her back and see what happens?

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Muestereate View Post
                        How about, excuse, can I have some more space? I'm with LeFemme, she may not even know she did it. Some ladies with Big Boobs have to wear so much material for the support that a bra is thick and firm. It's like you getting groped in a Carhart snowsuit. Another good one is a bulletproof vest. Don't assume the lady cop that just wrestled you to the ground is boobing you.
                        To further the point, is all she did was boob you? No other IOIs? If so, how long between IOIs did time pass?

                        Points need to be focused on multiple IOIs, time spans, and context. For example: if a woman boobs you and says sorry with no other IOIs, it was probably an accident and she just bumped into you. If she boobs you and smiles playfully (or fixes her hair or blushes etc) then it was probably a hit. Not 100% but probably.

                        Getting back to the title...no, don't acknowledge a boobing. Unless she is a close friend who is just a friend then no.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by rtj666 View Post

                          Jesus guys, you're over analysing the fact that she's married. I don't flirt with her, and I know she's not going to leave her husband for me. I only mentioned she was married just as an additional detail. It's the boobing/ioi that I'm asking about. Hence, the title of the post.
                          The answer seems obvious but perhaps writing out a pros and cons list will help you

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