Tweet
The Psychology of Spectacular Sex
Sex is a body thing. Good sex is a mind thing. And, as with many matters of the mind, getting your groove on – in a fulfilling, meaningful manner – can take a little work and a lot of thought.
However, most articles and authorities on the subject seem to tackle concerns over coitus from the physical front. In so doing, experts are omitting a vital aspect of the sexual encounter: the psychological. Luckily, though, there are psychotherapists and so-called sexologists whose very work involves getting your mind right for a romp.
Here’s what they have to say…
Ask Yourself 2 Simple Questions
Ken Page, a New York-based psychotherapist and author who specialises in intimacy and its psychological correlates, writes that two simple questions are enough to teach you valuable lessons about your sex life.
The first question which Page proposes we ask*is: What turns me on most in sex? Now, as simple as this seems, most of us might not be able to give a straight answer right away. Why? Because, as Page puts it “our sexual turn-ons sometimes just don’t fit our self-image”. When this is the case, we fanaticise about something for which we feel ashamed.
However, whether or not we like to admit to them (for instance, many people may find that what they like seems “boring” in comparison to some more exciting fantasies) , the things which turn us on the most are “portals to a deeper experience of sex and of ourselves”.
What?
Page explains that these “turn ons” shine a light on parts of ourselves we just don’t know what do with. And we can really benefit from learning how to handle these sexual fantasies in a creative, fulfilling and – vitally – non-destructive ways.
Page recommends that we try to allow ourselves the freedom of play in our dream world: and to trust ourselves enough to try some of these deeply-held fantasies. If it gets uncomfortable, accept that this is normal, but monitor it, and – if the discomfort persists –*enlist the support of a skilled psychotherapist to help you along the way.
For the most part, though, Page reckons, we will feel a. proud of ourselves for embracing what it is we want most, and b. more sexually fulfilled. Which brings us to his second “questions for optimal sex”.
Click Here To for More...
Date Published: 07-30-2015 09:00 AM
However, most articles and authorities on the subject seem to tackle concerns over coitus from the physical front. In so doing, experts are omitting a vital aspect of the sexual encounter: the psychological. Luckily, though, there are psychotherapists and so-called sexologists whose very work involves getting your mind right for a romp.
Here’s what they have to say…
Ask Yourself 2 Simple Questions
Ken Page, a New York-based psychotherapist and author who specialises in intimacy and its psychological correlates, writes that two simple questions are enough to teach you valuable lessons about your sex life.
The first question which Page proposes we ask*is: What turns me on most in sex? Now, as simple as this seems, most of us might not be able to give a straight answer right away. Why? Because, as Page puts it “our sexual turn-ons sometimes just don’t fit our self-image”. When this is the case, we fanaticise about something for which we feel ashamed.
However, whether or not we like to admit to them (for instance, many people may find that what they like seems “boring” in comparison to some more exciting fantasies) , the things which turn us on the most are “portals to a deeper experience of sex and of ourselves”.
What?
Page explains that these “turn ons” shine a light on parts of ourselves we just don’t know what do with. And we can really benefit from learning how to handle these sexual fantasies in a creative, fulfilling and – vitally – non-destructive ways.
Page recommends that we try to allow ourselves the freedom of play in our dream world: and to trust ourselves enough to try some of these deeply-held fantasies. If it gets uncomfortable, accept that this is normal, but monitor it, and – if the discomfort persists –*enlist the support of a skilled psychotherapist to help you along the way.
For the most part, though, Page reckons, we will feel a. proud of ourselves for embracing what it is we want most, and b. more sexually fulfilled. Which brings us to his second “questions for optimal sex”.
Click Here To for More...
Date Published: 07-30-2015 09:00 AM