Mirroring

[Muestereate]

I frequently forget about an old NLP technique called Mirroring. At its most straightforward it is simply trying to copy everything about your date. I usually started with posture, then hand position, and even gestures if II could make my mirroring non-obvious. Rather quickly I would try to match breathing rates. It only takes moments to synch with a person. At first, we follow their gestures etc but then naturally we introduce some of our own. If they start to unconsciously copy us, we can assume they are synching. A few times I have been able to bump my own heart rate up just by keeping a beet/count going on in my head and then increasing it. If you are synched, their heart rate will change and with it, interest and excitement.

All this sounds strange but I can only keep it going for a few minutes and if consciously doing it it can become obvious so I have learned to disengage and just take it as an indicator of interest.

Well here's a scientific study that measured similar things and it turns out just 5 minutes of good synch as well as something they are calling attunement are enough to make a difference in whether a first date turns into a relationship. I'm sure we have tons of blends that can help with this, I just haven't consciously looked at them from this scientific angle.

If you are inclined to read scientific research:

Bio-Behavioral Synchrony

[Coconut]

I frequently forget about an old NLP technique called Mirroring. At its most straightforward it is simply trying to copy everything about your date. I usually started with posture, then hand position, and even gestures if II could make my mirroring non-obvious. Rather quickly I would try to match breathing rates. It only takes moments to synch with a person. At first, we follow their gestures etc but then naturally we introduce some of our own. If they start to unconsciously copy us, we can assume they are synching. A few times I have been able to bump my own heart rate up just by keeping a beet/count going on in my head and then increasing it. If you are synched, their heart rate will change and with it, interest and excitement.

All this sounds strange but I can only keep it going for a few minutes and if consciously doing it it can become obvious so I have learned to disengage and just take it as an indicator of interest.

Well here's a scientific study that measured similar things and it turns out just 5 minutes of good synch as well as something they are calling attunement are enough to make a difference in whether a first date turns into a relationship. I'm sure we have tons of blends that can help with this, I just haven't consciously looked at them from this scientific angle.

If you are inclined to read scientific research:

Bio-Behavioral Synchrony

A lot of therapists use this technique with their clients during sessions, to try and install the Transfer as they call it, my old therapist used to do this and it was very obvious what he was doing, he would change postions with his legs or hands while we were talking!

[Muestereate]

I think it works best for me when I initiate it consciously and then rapidly try to forget about it. A few moves, a few breaths, get in synch and then forget about it.

What was new for me was the connection between this and developing relationships from short introductions. It also made me recall what I did wrong during a chance meeting in a coffee shop. She was tense about some business that day and I was all bouncy and expressive. I see now I should have synced up first before trying to cheer her up.

[Kokuryu]

It's something that I used to use quite a lot, mostly in work situations (my job used to involve having to have lots of conversations with lots of people, less so now) and I think it can be very effective. As you say, difficult to keep carrying out consciously after a while, but I suppose the idea is that when you're synced it naturally becomes subconscious. One thing I used to do ( I copied this from a very famous magician over here who uses it a lot - so much it seemed a bit like a tick with him tbh) is to add a little, quick nod when I was saying something I felt was important to get agreement on. I know that the magician dude recommends NLP uses it a lot and this certainly seemed to work well for me. Something I need to return to and try out again I reckon. Cheers for reminding me about this

[Muestereate]

I used it a lot in a couple of hard sales positions I had long ago as well as business dealings I had at the time within those circles. I guess like a magician, the idea is not to get caught. Come to think of it, When I started using API I noticed just slight gestures had a lot of influence. To a lesser degree, I remember XSR95 developing rapport with the eyes. I don't think many got this but I was doing subtle eye stuff mostly subconsciously. I remember that NLP can work with all the senses but it's been so long since I really trained at it. Like the mirroring, I mostly use it to create comfort and trust so I can be helpful or get a good deep conversation. Sometimes my conversations get too deep, especially with different pheros. It can creep out young girls so I keep it as superficial as I know how. Perhaps not getting discovered leads me to use minimal pheros, It might be a discipline I learned from blowing a couple of sales and one arbitration negotiation in particular.

[Kokuryu]

Yeah, I suspect, like with pheros, it needs a certain amount of careful and thoughtful driving
I'll experiment with it again soon (and get round to testing some of my stash a little better too!).

[Muestereate]

I think that may have been part of the reason that I posted this. Originally I wrote that for an Asian friend in Korea that was having trouble getting past hello. But, Pheromones have really opened themselves up when I'm willing to look at them from multiple perspectives. We do that with GOALS which is a nice collection of perspectives for sure. We also look at them through day or night perspectives. I guess this is a rapport perspective, possibly flirting or social in GOAL terms but there is something different about trying to look at a pheromone through an NLP technique perspective, especially one we are trying to drive.