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I got some xsp92 recently, It was one of Steve's cleaning out the closets deals. I ordinarily wouldn't have ordered it. but like so many of XS's surprises, it too is becoming a pleasant one.
It will take a while to explore this but I have run it about a half dozen times now. I got it in 12.5 but the item description says it gets real alpha at only 2. When I ordered I wasn't looking for more alphas so I started with 12.5 a couple times around the house. I didn't notice a whole hell of a lot at home so I tried it in combo to see if I could notice ana difference to known baselines.. It wasn't until I got down to 6 that I started to notice some outgoingness. Since its effects are mild I ran 6 with some stuff. API, Fantasy is a chatty attraction combo for me that I know well.
Somewhere around 3 and 4 I started to get some bewildering. It wasn't bad but some task related performance suffered. I was becoming ungrounded from my baseline in an unfamiliar way. Around three the bewilderment is giving way to a different sort of outgoingness. I've run it with SOB, not so great but not bad, SOB rarely is not fun.
2 is where it started to identify itself. it seems to make me outgoing and assured but not in a typical alpha testosterone sort of way. This worked on subtle things I didn't know I was ashamed of and eradicated that shame. These are not perverted shames but more cultural. For instance the day before I talked about sex. It didn't phase me in mixed company to talk about it being more difficult without a little alcohol or pot. This did not make other people want to talk openly about sex I should note. But I talked with several ladies and picked up their phone numbers even after they had overheard me and we talked of other things. I established rapport with a gay friend but not in a gay fashion. He did share his anger with a couple past lovers, not the intimacy but how he still heard their voices in his head talking down on him.
Still at 2, I also wore this with neno and Inbetween194. Normally I don't ever say anything when I do stuff for people, I can go decades of silent work and sacrifice for others without a word. I actually have a sort of shame about bringing it up. This doesn't stop people from rolling over me like my sacrifices didn't exist. Weird thing, to be ashamed for being helpful but sometimes I can't help it so its no big thing. Not today, between the neno party and the inbetween I was crossing all kinds of barriers with people I barely recognized Some of that is not the 194 or neno though. Their is something social about having no shame if the ego is not inflated over it.
A lot of ALPHAs make you seem a big shot type or status type of alpha or a sex type alpha but there is another kind of alpha, people wanted to talk and really converse with someone that was good with themselves. API does this but in a different quieter way. I can get good with myself but it is a silent and peaceful style of contentment. This is not quiet. while it is described as an alpha, it's social potential is still untapped.
I am not getting any ghosting from male or female that I have noticed yet. I don't think it scares people like most alphas.
I did run this solo once, at 3 I approached a guy about a job I have been wanting to ask for but I have been hesitant to ask for because I guess I'm somewhat ashamed that I'm not sure I'll be able to handle it. Neither embarrassed or ashamed nor anxious. I keep thinking how flirt helps me over anxiety humps, xsp92 does this too but with a different mechanic. Hopefully I'll be able to articulate that better with some more use.
It will take a while to explore this but I have run it about a half dozen times now. I got it in 12.5 but the item description says it gets real alpha at only 2. When I ordered I wasn't looking for more alphas so I started with 12.5 a couple times around the house. I didn't notice a whole hell of a lot at home so I tried it in combo to see if I could notice ana difference to known baselines.. It wasn't until I got down to 6 that I started to notice some outgoingness. Since its effects are mild I ran 6 with some stuff. API, Fantasy is a chatty attraction combo for me that I know well.
Somewhere around 3 and 4 I started to get some bewildering. It wasn't bad but some task related performance suffered. I was becoming ungrounded from my baseline in an unfamiliar way. Around three the bewilderment is giving way to a different sort of outgoingness. I've run it with SOB, not so great but not bad, SOB rarely is not fun.
2 is where it started to identify itself. it seems to make me outgoing and assured but not in a typical alpha testosterone sort of way. This worked on subtle things I didn't know I was ashamed of and eradicated that shame. These are not perverted shames but more cultural. For instance the day before I talked about sex. It didn't phase me in mixed company to talk about it being more difficult without a little alcohol or pot. This did not make other people want to talk openly about sex I should note. But I talked with several ladies and picked up their phone numbers even after they had overheard me and we talked of other things. I established rapport with a gay friend but not in a gay fashion. He did share his anger with a couple past lovers, not the intimacy but how he still heard their voices in his head talking down on him.
Still at 2, I also wore this with neno and Inbetween194. Normally I don't ever say anything when I do stuff for people, I can go decades of silent work and sacrifice for others without a word. I actually have a sort of shame about bringing it up. This doesn't stop people from rolling over me like my sacrifices didn't exist. Weird thing, to be ashamed for being helpful but sometimes I can't help it so its no big thing. Not today, between the neno party and the inbetween I was crossing all kinds of barriers with people I barely recognized Some of that is not the 194 or neno though. Their is something social about having no shame if the ego is not inflated over it.
A lot of ALPHAs make you seem a big shot type or status type of alpha or a sex type alpha but there is another kind of alpha, people wanted to talk and really converse with someone that was good with themselves. API does this but in a different quieter way. I can get good with myself but it is a silent and peaceful style of contentment. This is not quiet. while it is described as an alpha, it's social potential is still untapped.
I am not getting any ghosting from male or female that I have noticed yet. I don't think it scares people like most alphas.
I did run this solo once, at 3 I approached a guy about a job I have been wanting to ask for but I have been hesitant to ask for because I guess I'm somewhat ashamed that I'm not sure I'll be able to handle it. Neither embarrassed or ashamed nor anxious. I keep thinking how flirt helps me over anxiety humps, xsp92 does this too but with a different mechanic. Hopefully I'll be able to articulate that better with some more use.
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