Well, it looks like I may be losing my job...

[Ladyofthewoods]

My 91 year old Mother-In-Law, who lives with us had a stroke on New Years Day. She was in the hospital for a week and has been in a rehab since then. She is going to be discharged sometime next week, and we have been told that she can no longer be alone in the house. The lowest salary I can hire someone to be with her during the time we work is $600/a week. She only gets $2400 a month in SS/Pension. That is the monthly cost of the aide. That is not do-able, so I suggested to my boss that I could work a half day in the office and a half day at home. He told me yesterday that he did not want to lose someone in the office for 4 hrs a day and that I could work part time, with all the same responsibilities for half pay. I do bid packages for roof replacements for the school districts where we are. It is deadline based and I can't extend a deadline because I'm only working part time, so I would wind up taking work home and doing it without pay. I would still have to pay $300 a week to have someone come watch her, so exactly what is my motivation to do this? It's like taking a double hit. I could have my MIL pay me to stay home and take care of her and still come out ahead of what their offering me at work. And just last week my boss told me I was a valued employee. Yes, well, apparently not... He didn't want to lose someone for 4 hours a day, now he'll lose someone for eight. Needless to say, I'm frustrated.

[Vicki Lee]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this mama. I understand, jobs ain’t shit! Anymore, nobody ever gives a damn about anything else but the companies bottom line.... And you were trying to negotiate the best you could.... Depending on your track record with him would be a determining factor, but just from this situation alone. I’d start looking into alternative forms of work.

I was literally just telling a friend this yesterday that the way the system is set up there’s no possible way to handle your needs and those of your elders at the same damn time. ???? I wish I could give you the answer but I just hope for the best. ????

[KateD]

That is tough Lady! Our parents especially our moms took care of us when we were babies and little and had no idea what danger we were in. They kept us safe and went through 9 months for us. For that alone they deserve so much from us. You will receive the blessings from doing what you can to take care of her whether you see it right away or not.

You have my support. Getting someone to look after her and trying to do it yourself, that is commendable when most children are quick to put their parents in homes. I am sure doors will open so you can find the best solution for this without having to give up work or cut back.

[Ladyofthewoods]

Thanks ladies! My track record with the boss is great. I'm always here an hour early if I need to be for an early bid opening. I've stayed late when necessary and worked through lunch. I believe that in this industry, if you don't have a penis, you are just expendable. I've already joined a few job boards that specialize in legitimate remote work from home. Hopefully, I can get something from that & my husband will not have to pay my bills.

[Cheerio]

Thanks ladies! My track record with the boss is great. I'm always here an hour early if I need to be for an early bid opening. I've stayed late when necessary and worked through lunch. I believe that in this industry, if you don't have a penis, you are just expendable. I've already joined a few job boards that specialize in legitimate remote work from home. Hopefully, I can get something from that & my husband will not have to pay my bills.

I'm sorry that this happened to you and I hate that companies will build your esteem up and make you feel as if you're not replaceable then turn around and change their mind once they realize you'll no longer be of service to them. That's ridiculous. If you have any special gifts, you should consider Fiverr.com.

What are some skills you have? I may be able to find some stuff and send them to you.

[Muestereate]

Penises are expendable too, believe me, I've been fired by vaginas that were ready to be fired by penises that were under the gun by vaginas.

Are you sure you understood your bosses offer? Maybe the responsibilities are the same but the workload would be half? Working from home could be great in that situation. Lots of spare time in between caring for Mom. How about some sort of commission on accepted and approved bids processed by you? Maybe a stipulation that the jobs are profitable to hold you accountable for good bids and not just lowballing.

Win Win maybe? Good luck

[Ladyofthewoods]

It was not my intent to penis-bash. I work in construction and in that industry women are treated much differently than men for the most part. There will be no commission. There are no raises /bonuses at this job and when it gets tight in the winter (roofing company) we even have to wait for our paychecks on a fairly regular basis. I am sure that the workload would not change, as the president commented "You'll really have to hustle to get everything done". But that is beside the fact. If I take half pay, my entire paycheck would go to paying the aid who would need to come in for 4.5 hours in the morning. Financially, it does not make sense for me to do it. I can stay home, have my MIL give me a small salary to take care of her, and get some remote Data Entry or Admin work on the side and make out better.

[Muestereate]

Demand family medical and leave, that'll hit him where it hurts. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family...ve_Act_of_1993

His offer is insulting and inconsiderate of you, You don't owe him any more consideration than he has given you. It will bind him up a bit as far as hiring your replacement and it will give you time to work things out while keeping the door open if you play it nicely. He may even consider negotiating instead of his hardline. Your MIL condition may get worse and she may have to go out of your hands whether you and your husband like it or not. It's a real possibility.

Look up eligability, in law may not be covered in your state or your employer may be too small

[Ladyofthewoods]

Oh it's covered. I took 2 weeks last summer when my Dad first got out of the hospital down in SC for a cardiac event. You get 55% of your salary, and the limit per year is 10 weeks. I have a problem taking Family Leave when I know damn well that I won't be coming back though. It seems dishonest. However, I have to determine if I really care about that now.

[Muestereate]

There's no real way to predict how long your MIL will be with you. Those things almost always are beyond our ability to predict. No dishonesty there.

[Ladyofthewoods]

True. And I just did some research and discovered that this is covered by deductions that come out of my salary, not his business. No more guilt!

[Muestereate]

If you are guilt-free, my job is done. Sorry for the disruptions in your life. Crap going on here too. My mom just called for input on rehab. She's been in the hospital for a week and she lost the strength to walk. It's strange she asked for my opinion. Telling her she needs to be able to get up to go to the bathroom kind of settled it for her. She said she just needed some help justifying something she didn't want to do.

I was just reading how much transformation is entwined with discomfort as long as both are voluntary. Forward we must lest the chaos of the past which we already clawed our way out of swallowing us back up into its dark nihilist void.

[Ladyofthewoods]

Looks like I have a 2 week reprieve. They are not letting her out just yet (she's not thrilled about that). Probably another 2 weeks. Two weeks more of full salary. Whew!

Sorry to hear about your Mom. I know it must be tough for her (and you).

[Muestereate]

Last I saw she had some color to her cheeks. That Polar Vortex has kept me in. I guess she's in a good place, I hear its one of the best locally. Physical therapy is always painful for her but generally good overall.

[Ildergreier]

Oh it's covered. I took 2 weeks last summer when my Dad first got out of the hospital down in SC for a cardiac event. You get 55% of your salary, and the limit per year is 10 weeks. I have a problem taking Family Leave when I know damn well that I won't be coming back though. It seems dishonest. However, I have to determine if I really care about that now.

Don't be sad. There were no loyalty to you either, so don't have any to them.

[Ladyofthewoods]

#Ildergreier - I'm over it.