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Initiate Sex (Men or Women) Who, When, Why and How Frequently?

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  • Initiate Sex (Men or Women) Who, When, Why and How Frequently?

    Cheerio Mysticbeauty and for some reason I think that Isis may want to chime in

    I know we were thinking this would make for a good discussion.

    It all started with a statement by Mystic
    Originally posted by Mysticbeauty View Post
    I did just refer a client I love. She wants her husband to initiate sex. I suggested desire me and some samples.
    I hear so much from sexually charged women that their man isn't fucking them. I don't get this, they are all attractive and want it! Alot of times it's not the women it's the men, in my experience. Couples start doing each other already!
    Here was my response:
    "We definitely need a thread on this. Like I want some genuine answers and information.

    I'm interested more about your thoughts on this. Is it just some women's personal preference that men initiate the sex. Is it deemed acceptable for the man to want the woman to initiate the sex. Many men are viewed as the sex fiends..what if the man wants the woman to say or show that she wants it? Does she tell him that she wants it?...simply that gets most men going. I'm just trying to understand because my wife would rather jump off a bridge than tell me when she's horny..smh. Me on the other hand, I'm always down..I'm always talking sexy, always prodding to see. But she will stonewall til the end..just to find out she was horny all along. And then things are great "


    My wife isn't a super sexual person, she puts up the fake fight but once I get her started it's on and popping. (I know that's a early 2000's phrase) But eventually I don't want to feel that I'm that sex fiend..my drive is pretty moderate. On average every 3 days I start to get exceptionally horny. But she feels and she has said repeatedly that she wont ask for it, she just wants me to initiate. So I've purchased Naked Gun, and PSE. The results have been she will tell me "I don't know why I'm so wet" but not in the seduction type way..in a normal kind of matter of fact way. My wife is a very keep to herself and shy, avoid situation person..lol I love her how she is but she is. She does often grab my member in even inappropriate settings like near her mom and aunts. I can't take that like a 'take me now' sign, being that we are in a setting unfitting for it.

    So there it is..thoughts?

  • #2
    Originally posted by Prettyrickyboi View Post
    Cheerio Mysticbeauty and for some reason I think that Isis may want to chime in

    I know we were thinking this would make for a good discussion.

    It all started with a statement by Mystic


    Here was my response:
    "We definitely need a thread on this. Like I want some genuine answers and information.

    I'm interested more about your thoughts on this. Is it just some women's personal preference that men initiate the sex. Is it deemed acceptable for the man to want the woman to initiate the sex. Many men are viewed as the sex fiends..what if the man wants the woman to say or show that she wants it? Does she tell him that she wants it?...simply that gets most men going. I'm just trying to understand because my wife would rather jump off a bridge than tell me when she's horny..smh. Me on the other hand, I'm always down..I'm always talking sexy, always prodding to see. But she will stonewall til the end..just to find out she was horny all along. And then things are great "


    My wife isn't a super sexual person, she puts up the fake fight but once I get her started it's on and popping. (I know that's a early 2000's phrase) But eventually I don't want to feel that I'm that sex fiend..my drive is pretty moderate. On average every 3 days I start to get exceptionally horny. But she feels and she has said repeatedly that she wont ask for it, she just wants me to initiate. So I've purchased Naked Gun, and PSE. The results have been she will tell me "I don't know why I'm so wet" but not in the seduction type way..in a normal kind of matter of fact way. My wife is a very keep to herself and shy, avoid situation person..lol I love her how she is but she is. She does often grab my member in even inappropriate settings like near her mom and aunts. I can't take that like a 'take me now' sign, being that we are in a setting unfitting for it.

    So there it is..thoughts?
    Maybe her saying to you, "I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M SO WET" is her way of telling you she's horny?

    IF ... I may, how old is the wife, is Naked Gun and PSE used as a combo or separate, and! your dosage/s?

    Thanks!

    Comment


    • #3
      I love when men initiate, in general.

      Why? Because the thing with women is that we are naturally nurturing and emotional. Therefore, we always end up doing more than we need to do for men. Men are quite different in the sense that if they really want something, they go for it. They love the challenges that something brings and they love feeling like they won. That's why whenever a man expresses his love for his woman, spoils her, etc, it's very admirable because men just aren't going to do that if you aren't who he really wants to be with. Does that make sense? So when a man initiates dates, sex, or anything else, it makes us feel sexy, it makes us feel wanted, and it lets us know that this man really wants us.

      However, if I've been in a serious relationship for a long time (let's say, 6 mths/1 year), I'd have no problem initiating sex maybe once or twice. But I prefer a man show me he wants me because as a woman, I've no problem showing a man I'm interested -- it's just who we are as women. That's why the whole women proposing to men thing isn't logical. We would propose to that sexy football player if we could, but when men propose it's usually because he's really thought about it and is ready to spend his life with you and only you. Men don't base their decisions on their emotions like women do, they base it on what makes sense to them and their lives. That's why when men pay the bills, it's special because a man just isn't going to pay the bills for any woman (there are some men who are in relationships and split 50/50 but meet another woman and spoil her because she's the woman he really wants).

      I know I'm probably going off topic and my words are probably confusing, but I hope someone understands what I'm saying. Men and women are different. Women would do every and anything for a man (like, for some of us, we meet a fine man and already thinking about our wedding day with him -- men don't do that shit LOL). But for men, it has to be logical. So when my man wants to show me he wants me by initiating sex, it's sexier and more meaningful (to me).

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Cheerio View Post
        I love when men initiate, in general.

        I know I'm probably going off topic and my words are probably confusing, but I hope someone understands what I'm saying. Men and women are different. Women would do every and anything for a man (like, for some of us, we meet a fine man and already thinking about our wedding day with him -- men don't do that shit LOL). But for men, it has to be logical. So when my man wants to show me he wants me by initiating sex, it's sexier and more meaningful (to me).
        I understand what you're saying. She's the 'just take it type'. I have a feeling she likes to be 'handled' I guess you can say. I just want to give her what she likes. I'm the type of guy that wouldn't dare try to cross the line, I'm not insanely outgoing, and I don't like to cross the line..but I mean that can change I guess.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by MMM View Post
          Maybe her saying to you, "I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M SO WET" is her way of telling you she's horny?

          IF ... I may, how old is the wife, is Naked Gun and PSE used as a combo or separate, and! your dosage/s?

          Thanks!
          Nah, when she says that ill play like 'I got you babe " and she will swear out that's not what she means.
          So idk man.
          But I have tried them separate and together at various dosages..tbh with all the time I've studied mones I haven't really tested these in the most scientific manner. I think because I just want to see results.

          I've tried to lightly caress her for hours and tease her not touching any intimate parts and the first time it worked she literally could not keep herself off me...but after that I've tried repeatedly to get that same reaction..to no avail.

          She's 27 btw.im 29

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Prettyrickyboi View Post

            I understand what you're saying. She's the 'just take it type'. I have a feeling she likes to be 'handled' I guess you can say. I just want to give her what she likes. I'm the type of guy that wouldn't dare try to cross the line, I'm not insanely outgoing, and I don't like to cross the line..but I mean that can change I guess.
            Have you two ever discussed kinks and fetishes?

            Comment


            • Prettyrickyboi
              Prettyrickyboi commented
              Editing a comment
              I've tried, because she's so shy she just doesn't really seem to care to have input..im certain she has things she likes. I'll keep trying though.

          • #7
            i know a lot of women like the blind fold idea, maybe try that?
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            Comment


            • #8
              I have another friend who says the same thing as my client did. She's always doing so much in the household and is "in charge", she doesn't want to have to add sex to the list. She just wants to feel his desire and for him to initiate.
              I agree with Cheerio as far as women wanting to feel desired. If you knew all the things women do to feel beautiful and desirable, it makes sense. Plus women care soo much about a multitude of things it's just nice to not have "does my man find me sexy" on the list of worries.

              Comment


              • cryptomones
                cryptomones commented
                Editing a comment
                That may be the reason (being in charge) in the home, the man doesn't feel like a man any more but a boy.

            • #9
              Woo the panties right off of her!

              Comment


              • #10
                Originally posted by Prettyrickyboi View Post
                and for some reason I think that Isis may want to chime in
                Sad Cry GIF by RauwCC


                I'm sure this will vary from woman to woman.

                I personally prefer when a man initiates. It turns me on when I know he wants me. When done right, i could skip the foreplay.

                When unstimulated, my arousal never gets to a point where I want to RIP a man's clothes off. If I get touched here and there and riled up (heck even dirty talk will do it), I have no problem taking over but I do like when men start it

                Comment


                • #11
                  It seems simple, but if it were that simple, there would be much fewer breakups. In longer-term relationships, a lot of other factors can come into play that may have been overshadowed by the lustful 'honeymoon' phase.

                  My spouse and I have learned that stress, energy levels, hunger, health/fitness, sleep, etc. are all factors. It takes a good amount of self-awareness and empathy to be able to fully 'sync' with your partner's sexual rhythm.

                  Just like circadian rhythms, I think people uniquely have times when they are very horny. But partners may not be horny at the same time, so being aware of your partner's sexual energy is important, and it takes effort. But I also think it's ok if sex is not happening at times.

                  Men and women are different, but men have emotions too. Men need foreplay too. And men also like it when someone listens to them, to understand why they're not ravaging their women. Age and cultural differences also play a part.

                  There's plenty of times where I've passed up on sex with beautiful women who just had horrible attitudes. Several years ago I had a chance at a threesome with 2 gorgeous women, and we were already on the bed, but they made racist 'jokes' about my name, and I just couldn't bring myself to going through with it. It's not just about looks.

                  All people are different. I think the original issue comes down to assuming men are stereotypically thinking of sex 24/7. I'm generally against gender stereotypes. Because it's 2019. We don't have relationships just with men and women any more. How do we discuss this same topic in relationships with two men, two women, multiple men/women, or other genders and sexual preferences?

                  Between my partner and I, we both initiate equally, because it depends on the situation. I tend to initiate after dates or in romantic/passionate situations that suit my fantasies. She really likes doing things in public or risky places. She really likes initiating in these situations. But when we're at home, she prefers I take the lead.

                  I think it all comes down to having solid communication in a relationship. Knowing yourself, being emotionally mature about your needs and then also making the effort to understand your partner.

                  Comment


                  • Prettyrickyboi
                    Prettyrickyboi commented
                    Editing a comment
                    I agree, glad I have some male perspectives here to get to the bottom of this issue together with our wonderful women of XS.

                • #12
                  And just so you know, men like to be WANTED and DESIRED, too. How does that part get taken care of? Or does it NOT because he's a man? Just curious.

                  Comment


                  • #13
                    FYI, after reading this I'm getting naked gun and PSE - never tried them before - going to put them on for NYE party - see what happens

                    Comment


                    • Prettyrickyboi
                      Prettyrickyboi commented
                      Editing a comment
                      I've found evolve to get my woman's engine going and mine going the best. PSE and Naked Gun have had their best results as stand alones to me. PSE is hit or miss and Naked Gun is somewhat consistent

                    • drlove
                      drlove commented
                      Editing a comment
                      THX Prettyrickyboi - I ended up sticking w evolve for NYE

                  • #14
                    Originally posted by MMM View Post
                    And just so you know, men like to be WANTED and DESIRED, too. How does that part get taken care of? Or does it NOT because he's a man? Just curious.
                    Most definitely. lol does this seem soft to women? When it comes to intimacy as was alluded to earlier their are many factors and the mental aspect is important on both ends.

                    Comment


                    • #15
                      Originally posted by Prettyrickyboi View Post

                      Most definitely. lol does this seem soft to women? When it comes to intimacy as was alluded to earlier their are many factors and the mental aspect is important on both ends.
                      To SOME WOMEN, as you have read above. But there are aggressive women out there who do not mind exchanging places from time-to-time. THANK GOD! Kind of like women who think Valentine's Day is just for women, and give their man nothing, but brag about what they got. And then, there are women who gives their men gifts, roses, and chocolate on Valentine's Day, too. Still, to each her/his own.

                      Comment

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