Looking for advice

[Amb2723]

Hi! Newbie here looking for advice on the best way to use mones in a situation. Here's the deal and giving background so everyone can hopefully give better advice, my BF and I don't live together and he's frequently on the road usually for a week or more at a time. I am early 30s and pretty sexual and he is mid 40s and not as sexual although when he gets going he gets going (you know what I mean ladies ????) we are only with each other and no one else. We have had some unusually stressful situations in the last couple of months and it has caused a bit of a dry spell ????. I know that the situation has a lot to do with it because it is draining both of us and running us through a variety of emotions. We talk on the phone every night (these are our long convos and can sometimes go all night) we also talk during the day and text back and forth. I know that we have a solid base in our relationship but I need to get things moving in other ways. I also want to use mones to help encourage not just the sexual side but the intimate side when we are together. He has no problem opening up on the phone but when we are together not so much, this is due to a prev relationship of his that causes him to put up walls when face to face. He's getting much better and it's something we have talked about it. I obviously know that mones are just like high heels or that new thong as they just help give things a nudge. I also think there maybe some low T issues for him but he doesn't want to look into that. So what I am wondering because I just got my first shipment what is a good combo or single mone to use to get things going but also helps with the intimacy? My other thought was to wear one that heats things up when I head over for the night and then the next morning after I shower wear one that encourages intimacy? My first package had sprays of XS102- Madame, love boat, PSEL, innocent, fantasy, tease in 10ml bottles, desire me + in 30ml, all of these have axs scent mixed in these. I have sample sprays of connections, vibes, and tease. Oil sample of babe. Thanks for the awesome samples Steve ????. I also have some samples given to me by a friend of perception, scent of Eros (unscented and for her), alter ego for her and for some reason my friend threw in alter ego for men (???? but I think he meant that to be given to my brother lol). I also have a bottle of something called arouse - Rx (pretty sure this has no mones in it and is a total waste but include it in case but I have worn it multiple times and no response from anyone I am around) Those samples are all gel and the arouse is oil. Also what are the best places to put mones? I have been putting it where I wear perfume and have not stacked anything yet. Sorry for the long post but I just really need some advice because we have been together for over 2 years and are both comitted and love each other. Any help or advice is really appreciated ????. Also would love to hear a guys opinion but since I am posting on for ladies probably won't hear those lol. Thanks for helping out a newbie. I already love the XS community and can tell mones are going to be something I love. I have already learned a ton????

[NuTrix]

Welcome Amb2723!

That's a nice haul you made

Since you're starting out I would say, for sexy time, if the Desire Me is the XS spray - this - as it's got both androstenol and cops. PSEL plays very "raw sexuality" for me personally.
Madame looks like it's got great potential for the bonding that you're looking to create. Love Boat and/or Fantasy would also be good choices.

A lot depends not only on how it wears for you but how certain things will effect him for the direction you want to take things in as well. Only experimentation will drive that out.
That's my 2c

Good luck and happy hunting! I'm others will be along to offer more thoughts soon enough

[fdesa12]

I'd like to add Connections as another one to try. It's a different kind of bonding though where trust is built up. Usually, it's great for someone you want to get to know more of but are already moving towards at least a friendship level. However, you said your guy has built up walls due to a previous relationship and that he talks a lot when on the phone but not so much in person so this could help when you're face-to-face.

If you're going to try connections though, I suggest using only up to two sprays. Connections has been compared to a truth serum or reading an open diary with focus on negative memories. The more you use, the more extensive the effect is, and you may hear things you don't want to hear.

[Amb2723]

Thanks guys!
I did make quite a haul Nutrix! I am blessed that he doesn't mind when I spend money on "crazy" things like pretty new heels or phermanones in this case ???? we'll see if he still thinks it's "crazy"after some testing lol! Of course he just spent some "crazy" money in my opinion on pre ordering a video game and system for a game that won't be out till Fall but I don't mind if it makes him happy! I will however mind when the game comes out and I am a video game widow for a couple weeks ????

Good to know about the PSEL being very raw sexual. I wondered about that probably don't want to hit him with that right off the bat might be a little much! I was thinking of going with desire me + cause it is the spray just wondering how quick it will wear on me. I don't tend to sweat much. Tried Vibe yesterday and it was a little light but I didn't cover it and only did one sample bottle spray. Tried Love Boat today 2 sprays and got some hits mainly from a service person (woman) who came today for repair on washer but it was clear she was in the mone cloud she was really friendly and maybe over share a bit.

I was thinking Madame might be good but pretty sure I want to try each scent on its own and then mix.

Thanks for the idea fdesa12, I wondered if connections might be good. Not to worried about the truth serum part but the diary with a focus on negative memories is a little scary because sometimes he can get a little trapped in negative memories so would probably be best to stack that with something rather then on its own cause that might not be a great mix for him. It could be though help him finally open up some about some of his past stuff and be open. I think I will have to use that with care.

[Amb2723]

I will keep ya'll updated on my testing ????

[Ekscentra]

PSEL and Connections are great recommendations, but if you're willing to go outside of PXS, I'd recommend P96 from Androtics - insane, A1-like comfort levels, emotional disinhibition (this effect is key here), and without any of the negatives from A1. Stick to 25mcg. For Connections, I'd suggest sticking to only 1 spray - too much Beta -nol can cause excess introversion, which can lead to depression. Steve's products are extremely potent (save in the beta stages), so 1 spray is often all you need.

[Amb2723]

So here I am almost 2 months in and I am wondering has anyone had someone not seem to have any reaction to mones? I swear it seems like I am getting almost nothing from him. While I have not used them everytime I am with him I have used it a few times and I guess I get a little more response from him but I have also noticed that it seems like on the days I wear mones that things will be good and then approx 18-24 hours later, he goes into a rage like full on super pissed at me, life and everything. It is usually after we have been apart and usually happens on the phone. Am I crazy or is this something that can happen? Very little response or change in the heating things up department ???? being new to all of this wondering if I am doing something wrong. Please help! I have used mostly xs sents had a few samples from another group but even less response to that. Could this be a low testosterone thing? It may also be important to know that I am on some meds for an injury but all the research says that should have no bearing on any of this. I am also on birth control but I don't think that would be it. I am cross posting this to another of my posts in hopes someone sees and can help. I figure I must be messing something up but I just don't know....????. Any help is greatly appreciated sorry for the dup post but I wanted to reach out to everyone who had helped me. I am just so confused, this is not anything I have even heard of. Hopefully maybe Steve or one of you gurus will know something. Holding out hope.

[Amb2723]

To answer a question that may be asked I do get hits from others this effect seems to only happen with him but most of the hits are with people in public places so can't really say I have much info on them 12-24 hours later

[Amb2723]

Also to clarify I think what is going on has to do with my inexperience in using Mones not the mones. I still believe XS and Steve are the best out there ????

[KateD]

First of all thank you for opening up to us on such a deep level and for the updates. I am not sure if I ever came across this thread until now but I can somehow identify with some of the things that you are going through

Since you were so candid and open about your personal life permit me to do the same.

My hubby a very great guy was hurt by his ex and so after years I still feel that am breaking trying to break these barriers and build a good connection.

There are a few things that caught my attention

1. He isn't good with communication face to face

2. You seem to have a higher libido than him

3. His love for video games

Men and women are made of some basics that can't be denied. However, we are all different and handle things differently. My husband is very passive aggressive, insecure , definitely not an alpha male and his love for games , gadgets come across as someone very immature

I work with the intimacy using Connections and it has worked a great deal, even for some romantic with of hint of deep bonding type sex. However, pheromones are not magic and he gets into that rut everyone so often when he shuts down

This year I notice his libido is higher because his confidence was up and I got him some products of his own that made him think and anticipate sex even more

However AGAIN, something happened that allowed for some confidence issues and his libido dropped

When dealing with someone who for the lack of a better word isn't self motivated or dealing with major insecurities you can only do so much. You can bring the horse to water but you cant make him drink it

Your stash of products are perfect and I believe all needed for your situation but you need to stop frustrating yourself.

My question is before I continue, you are here on the forum trying to find ways to work on your intimacy and sexual life with him , does he actively try to better these areas or is it just you. It takes two hands to clap

[Amb2723]

Hi thanks for opening up too! I just figure the more info then the better advise I can get. As far as the intimacy he is aware of the problem and he works on it. It does make an effort to do things that I think draw us closer as far as talking about it that only happens on the phone but I am used to that because that really is where we have our best conversations. He is very afraid of having those convos face to face (he thinks I don't know this) because his ex would use face to face as an opportunity to grind him into the dirt so when we are together it is more surface level talks for the first little bit and then it can sometimes go deeper. I know that my dealing with an injury for the last few years has helped to bring us closer just because he had to care for me in some circumstances and then was able to see I am not going to attack him for caring. As far as the alpha male thing I would say that is very true except he does have a job that requires him to be alpha male and he flourishes in it but I when he is home he doesn't want to be making all the decisions he wants it to be 50/50. I think I do frustrate myself more often then not because I am not someone who waits for results well but I think if I take a deep breath that will help too and also realize that he is dealing with 11+years of her grinding him into the dirt and that realizing that intimacy is okay is a long road and that it takes trust and understanding.

[KateD]

The good news is that he is trying and he does care.That was my main concern that it was just one sided.

In situations where there is baggage its unfair to both parties. You need to be patient knowing the situation and he has to understand you shouldn't have to pay for someone else mistake.

Taking in everything especially with the new information I suggest being patient while doing what you can do on your end but don't try to over do. Do what you can and leave the rest up to him and time. It may take him a while but he will get it,if he never does then at this point you make a decision what you are willing to take and leave with and what you feel you can't.

Worrying and frustrating ourselves never help any situation but as women that is how we tend to react because we are emotional creatures. That is our genetic make up and something we can't escape but we can mentally work to restrain ourselves from taking things to that level.

Think of the countless number of situations that came your way, you frustrated yourself about it and what happened. Either it worked out itself Or you ended up loosing and there was nothing you could do about it. But life went on as it always does.

Win or loose life goes on and it can go on happily and just as good. The difference is knowing that you did your best and all you could do.

Use the hell out of your mones, do the lingerie thing, enjoy yourself and life and eventually he will come on board. Don't think of if he doesn't or not, you will cross that bridge if you ever get to it.

[Enigma]

I think subliminals may help you in that regard. Subliminals aim to change the subconscious, which is by far the most important when it comes to stuff like emotions really. The one I linked, Emotional Pain Relief and Healing Aid would be good for him. It aims to let go of the past, forgive other, let go of shame and guilt, and help you heal. It's also one of the free subliminal on the site but that doesn't mean that it does not work well. The site has journals if you do want to read some anecdotal evidence.

The only thing is that he has to listen to the subliminals for AT LEAST eight hours a day. There is a silent one that he can put on at night time. He can put on speakers near his bed and let it play on loop all night. But if you or he is skeptical just check out the journal. I didn't use this subliminal but some other ones and they worked well. It takes quite a few days to notice it but since you don't actually have to do anything just play it on all night it doesn't really matter I suppose and it's free. If your boyfriend does use it he should use it for a course of six-eight months (I know that sounds long but if he stops using it soon the changes reverse).


http://www.subliminal-shop.com/produ...f-healing-aid/

[Amb2723]

Thanks for the advice on subliminal I told him and he has used them some but not a ton probably would get more if he used it on regular basis. We are doing good now and I have found some blends I love fantasy and desire me mixed is a go to so is love boat and tease. The other one I found quite by accident is PSEL and connections now be super careful with this one one spray of connections is enough because this can cause deep thoughts and put in the wrong head space with too much in an instant. This is a mix that can be volitalial for sure. It needs at least an hour dry down time. It does cause some hot time but also imprinting. The other one I like a lot is love boat and PSEL. Any of these mix well just be careful with connections. Would love to see what others think of these mixes ????

[KateD]

How lovely to hear from you again. Wow, you guys are doing good, that is amazing, so happy for you guys. (group hug)

We love to experiment here and some of us love to live on the edge so telling us a certain mix might be danger is like putting a loaded gun in our hands, aimed at our hate target saying, don't pull the trigger.

I think since I have both, I might be the first to experiment on this bad baby

[Jimmy42]

Lol indeed.. ..I've been waiting to try my SOB sample at work just for the hell of it.