2nd Date & Forward -- Suggestions?

[lakerman34]

Hey Everyone --

New to this site, not so new to pheros (8 yrs exp).

I met this girl on PoF. She's 23, Latina, I'm 25, mixed.

First date, we went to a restaurant. We were already texting/talking to each other, she seemed like she had high interest. Then, one day, she tells me how her ex is making threats to her and how she had to go to his commander (he's military) and get a restraining order.

The VERY FIRST THING she talks about at the date is her ex and all that was going on. She seemed REALLY nervous, a bit high strung, and was trying to impress me. REALLY hard.

I did VERY little talking during the date.

Date lasted about 2 hours. We walked to the parking lot, I got a friendly side-hug, then we went on our way.

Well, texted her telling her I had a great time, she did too, we have a bowling date on Thursday. I'm not sold on her yet, but I'm going to go ahead and say she was just VERY nervous.

I was wearing to sprays of AMMO layered with Ascend XS on top.

Honestly, I probably wouldn't go on a second date with her if she wasn't so attractive, but I'm curious to see what happens. I texted her a few times today (day after date), and her responses are much shorter and terse (usually, she texts RIGHT AWAY with a long text answering all my questions, today, she waited a bit longer with more one word answers -- I did ask her on the second date tonight though, and she's game -- don't think I've been friend-zoned yet).

I'm looking to wear something that is still very sexy, very alpha, but also makes her much more relaxed, a bit giddier (I don't think she smiled/laughed the entire date), and just overall more comfortable. All I have from this site is some A1, Ascend XS, Boat XS, and Vibes XS. From our brother site, I have Ammo, TUTH, Instant Honesty, P93(I think).

During the date, I ordered a cocktail hoping she'd follow suit, she did not (I don't think she drinks). On the second date, I'm not looking to get laid. I'm hoping to possibly invite her to my place for dinner & movie on Saturday night if things go according to plan.

Thoughts/suggestions?

[KateD]

Lakerdude! You have 11 posts so am not sure if I already welcomed you but you started this thread by saying you are new to this site. 11 posts don't seem like a newbie but I will take your word for it.

Take into consideration and be mindful that women think differently than men. An ex that makes threats is a serious deal. So right now she may have trust issues,she may feel that mentioning it to you was a deal breaker especially since you didn't talk much on that date. Silence for makes us think that there is something wrong and our imagination can go on the worst of things. Plus we sometimes consult our g/fs which are not much help cuz they don't know how men think.

From reading your thread I don't yet know what are your intentions with this girl. One night stand, causal dating and sex, ltr. Either way with women communication is key. A thsd txt messages don't add up to a nice quality call where you are clear and precise as to where this is headed.

She already had this super awful ex experience so just spell it out : I like you, not sure where this is going but am willing to see and I want you to be open and honest with me so we can make some magic. If you aren't sure how you feel about her and where things are going, then you can't expect much from you either, she is feeding of your vibe.

The men will give their insight and take care of the pheromone aspect but it is important to consider a woman's perspective on things. After all, you are dating a woman, not a man

[lakerman34]

Lakerdude! You have 11 posts so am not sure if I already welcomed you but you started this thread by saying you are new to this site. 11 posts don't seem like a newbie but I will take your word for it.

Take into consideration and be mindful that women think differently than men. An ex that makes threats is a serious deal. So right now she may have trust issues,she may feel that mentioning it to you was a deal breaker especially since you didn't talk much on that date. Silence for makes us think that there is something wrong and our imagination can go on the worst of things. Plus we sometimes consult our g/fs which are not much help cuz they don't know how men think.

From reading your thread I don't yet know what are your intentions with this girl. One night stand, causal dating and sex, ltr. Either way with women communication is key. A thsd txt messages don't add up to a nice quality call where you are clear and precise as to where this is headed.

She already had this super awful ex experience so just spell it out : I like you, not sure where this is going but am willing to see and I want you to be open and honest with me so we can make some magic. If you aren't sure how you feel about her and where things are going, then you can't expect much from you either, she is feeding of your vibe.

The men will give their insight and take care of the pheromone aspect but it is important to consider a woman's perspective on things. After all, you are dating a woman, not a man

Thank you for this!

Yeah, I'm not fully sure what I want from her yet -- but I'm being careful not to come off as a guy that is dating her as a means to get to sex (physically speaking, she's kind of a babe so she probably gets that enough as it is from other guys).

Whenever she isn't feeling comfortable, I offer her to come over here or I go over there. She hasn't taken the offer yet (the other night, almost did, but I was out later than I thought I would be).

So right now, I'm dating her. That's it. I'm open to a casual dating sort of a thing, or even a LTR. However, right now, everything she is spelling out to me is that in my life, she's more something casual. That, of course, can change (and I sort of hope it does).

[RTBoss]

Not sure if cops in a product is wise if you're trying to not come off as the guy trying to get her into the sack. Perhaps try the Vibes, though I'm not that familiar with the product. I had a tester, and it was a laid-back friendly vibe - but more friendly than attractive.

[Jimmy42]

Yes sounds to me like she has a lot on her plate!! I'm sure it has nothing to do with you so don't take it personally. Be there for her when she needs you if even for her to vent. Then hit her with the mones!! ???? It'll work out!

[lakerman34]

Yes sounds to me like she has a lot on her plate!! I'm sure it has nothing to do with you so don't take it personally. Be there for her when she needs you if even for her to vent. Then hit her with the mones!! ???? It'll work out!

Seeing her next Friday. She's coming over, and I've got the house to myself

What shall it be? I can't see it NOT get physical.

[KateD]

Wow! That is something and today is that day. She is not new to the dating game/scene so he agreeing to come over means she may be expecting that as well.

I suggest Ascend to start of with and pay close attention to her body language and how she reacts to you and take it from there.

I am on the edge of my seat wondering what is going to happen next with this girl

[Mustang]

I think I remember you from PTalk many years back, if it's the same person

[lakerman34]

I think I remember you from PTalk many years back, if it's the same person

Haha yes sir! Been 8 years in there phero world. Crazy!

[Mallobean]

Hi lakerman34, while I realize that I am writing this a week late, perhaps Cohesion would help to bring down some of her nervous energy. I have had loads of success with it in calming things down when I am around angsty women. Just my .02.

~'bean