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I don't think I ever orgasmed?

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  • zeratul
    replied
    Originally posted by DBJ View Post
    she's from the largest non-Arab Muslim country in the world, a really fucked up place, her race and religion made her a target to the native..
    Southeast Asian?

    Leave a comment:


  • colorfulaura
    replied
    So far I can only make myself orgasm. A man has never made me orgasm as it takes too long.

    Leave a comment:


  • NuTrix
    replied
    Originally posted by siren View Post
    Vibrators cause more harm than good imo.
    As in how?
    Like the same way they say guys jacking off (pardon the crudneess) can mess them up? As in, then you can only get off by yourself because you've got a certain expectation and can no longer get off with a partner?

    Leave a comment:


  • Ildergreier
    replied
    Originally posted by siren View Post
    Vibrators cause more harm than good imo.
    Not if you find the right one.

    Leave a comment:


  • siren
    replied
    Vibrators cause more harm than good imo.

    Leave a comment:


  • intensecity
    replied
    When I was younger, I used to have real low self esteem, but have gained way more self confidence in myself....I know I have grew to be a sexy goddess that I am now....

    I have had a vibrator once, but then lost it....I didn't get another toy since because I just end up forgetting I even had one....So, I figured my fingers were enough....

    The guy I mentioned before that was kept persistent in making me squirt was just a one-time thing....I am glad we didn't talk again because he was annoying with insisting on not stopping until I squirt....It took the pleasure out of it because he made it a chore...

    I should try to use DM+ for just solo sexual play...I don't have the other blends that you suggested.... But, I think they are on my wishlist...I do have an air diffuser + wax warmers that I could use it in....

    I definitely live in a legal state....I miss having sex when I am high....It got me way more hornier.... But, I can't partake for awhile.....I love me a good indica though....;-x

    My surroundings are a mix of Ikea beds with asian antiques/ceramics....









    Leave a comment:


  • DBJ
    commented on 's reply
    plus we wouldn't have to clean up after... we did anyways but we didn't HAVE to.

  • DBJ
    replied
    Originally posted by intensecity View Post
    I consider myself both introverted + extroverted, but more on the introverted side....

    I usually think i can let go myself during sex....But, when I think about it, maybe not totally if I can't reach an orgasm.... It could be that I went through all of my sexual life never actually trying to have one.... I just was most focused on making sure the guy + myself were enjoying it....

    I am usually very "in the moment" during sex most of the times.... There may be times where I may get distracted by something I hear or see, but I am able to get back into it within a few seconds to minutes....

    When I am with someone, I would generally say that I am focused on making sure we both have pleasure...@ the end, I am content enough that the guy was able to have an orgasm over me having one....That gives me way more pleasure than me achieving one....

    I never had strong religious beliefs....I am kinda indifferent to religion in general....

    I will add that I had one experience where I was fooling around with a guy who was hell bent on making me squirt as if it was that his whole purpose in that time....He spent probably @ least an hour fingering me until I squirted....I guess that could be the only time I came if squirting counts.... But, I got annoyed af because he was persistent in getting me to do when I had enough probably within half an hour.... Afterwards, he didn't give a fuck on whether I returned the favor which worked out for me because I was turned off in his persistence....I'm glad we didn't talk again after that.... I mentioned that experience because maybe it gave a little insight?



    God my wife could have been the OP! She's had troubles in the past just relaxing and letting go, culture... she's from the largest non-Arab Muslim country in the world, a really fucked up place, her race and religion made her a target to the native and muslum populations who are both in the vast majority. It took ages for her to get out of a repressed state. Very odd to me at first, she could get so embarrassed about orgasm that i could literally see her shutting it down, like fighting it.

    You are on the right track, being able to let yourself relax and being able to stay in the moment. If you feel like you have a block, try to remove it from the equation. Don't focus on your orgasm, just build sensation. Don't focus on your partners orgasm, hell, if it's a guy... it'll probably happen for him. Relax and enjoy the act without any expectation, solo or with partners.

    Your guy in the last example, are you two just a hook-up/FWB or just starting out a relationship? Did you tell him about your "difficulty"? *quotes were there for dramatic effect, not saying that there's anything wrong with you!
    I'd advise not bringing the topic up unless you're in a long term committed relationship. Either way the guy is likely to think, "I'm going to make this happen NO MATTER WHAT!" and you'll end up feeling like an item on his chore list... not conductive to your goals i would guess, in an LTR you'll be able to tell him you're not a project without him getting butthurt, (at least i'd hope so, you never know how "delicate" a guy is this day and age).


    Some off the wall thoughts:

    Work out, and include Kegels. Get blood pumping and improve your fitness level. Helps in every facet of life.

    Don't just focus on the usual erotic stuff. I'd imagine feeling pawed at will be counter productive.

    Try dating a musician? NOT a drummer unless you really get off on spankings! Not to work too blue here but, someone who has good control, "touch" over their hands/fingers. And, someone who can treat the whole body like a symphony and not just focus on the "solo". More BB. King, Sweet Little Angel than Slayer's, Raining Blood. Save Slayer for when you are feeling more comfortable with them!

    (...cont.) try, "playing" to a song, (BB Kings Sweet Little Angel is a good start) follow the guitar, not the lyrics, (unless you want to end up a Sugar Mama). Ry Cooders Feelin' Bad Blues if you want a slower ramp-up. Joe Satriani if you have a good understanding of music theory, (raawr!... sorry, i couldn't resist!)

    How are the pheromones working out for you? Try a date night for yourself by yourself. Desire Me+ seems to have some positive self effects for women, that and p86 for yourself then toss a spray or two of Evolve in one of those stupid lightbulb powered airfresheners? Relax with a movie and some Tequila and see where the night takes you.

    Or, if you live in a pot legal area, a bit of pot. Asian Fantasy is hard to get and hard to be sure it is real AF but it's a wonder in the bedroom, (being touched is amazing!). Girl Scout Cookies and Granddaddy Purple are great easier to obtain alts. personally my wife seems to enjoy the GDP over GSC for just relaxing
    *Don't smoke too much and if you're new to it don't smoke if you have to be alert the next day. Literally one or two real puff(s) will help you relax if you're new, too much and you'll just end up sleeping.

    Smile! Not something forced. Bring it to the forefront, genuine and happy smiles work wonders.

    Oh and, (second edit), what is your environment like? The first time my wife was able to fully, (think rainbow over a Rainbird Sprinkler) we were vacationing in a Victorian style Lumber-Baron house. None of that Ikea crap furniture her culture seems addicted to. My theory being that the beautiful surroundings took her out of her workman like mentality.
    Last edited by DBJ; 06-02-2019, 01:52 PM. Reason: Small keyboard. To many commas and mis-spellings.

    Leave a comment:


  • Robby
    replied
    Thanks for answering my questions! I have a few more.

    How would you describe your self-esteem?

    Have you ever had sex while drunk or high?

    Have you ever used a vibrator or other sex toy?

    Are you not having an orgasm every time you have sex? You're not alone. Only 57% of women usually have orgasms when they have sex with a partner, according to new data from Cosmopolitan's Female Orgasm Survey. Now compare that to their partners, who…


    The Sun in the UK reports that 1 woman in 6 has never had an orgasm. I feel that number is low.

    Leave a comment:


  • siren
    replied
    Originally posted by intensecity View Post
    I am surprised that there has been no post made in this sub forum, but I guess it's up to me to take one for the team in devirginizing this area.... I hope this topic isn't too offensive....If it is, let me know or just delete the topic....I will understand with no hard feelings....

    I started having sex before I turned 20 + been masturbating for years before that as of a young kid.... Through all of my sexual experiences including solo ones, I don't think I actually had an orgasm.... If orgasm means cumming.... I am not saying I never enjoy it because I have thoroughly many many times before....I don't think I have ever orgasmed if it involves cumming....I never came.... But, then when i think of it, I don't think I felt an orgasm where it's earth-shattering or how it's been described.... I have just enjoyed it so much to where I feel satisfied without needing something to come out of my body.... Over the years, I have grown comfortable to the fact that I don't need to cum nor orgasm to enjoy sex, but there has been a few men that I have been with who seemed to have feel some kinda way that I don't cum or orgasm thinking it's because the sex wasn't good enough..... Any of you are like me?

    I feel like an awkward teenager who doesn't know about sex instead of a 36 year old that I am.... I did happen to just read something online that says cumming + orgasm is different....

    I hope I made sense, btw.... A large part of me doesn't feel ashamed that I am lacking in this department, but a tiny part does....;-x
    I do agree that men feel a bit let down or a blow to their ego if the person they're having sex with doesn't have an orgasm. But I also think that men don't know what female orgasms really look like.

    Orgasms are more of a sensation. Ejaculation (cumming) is different. Most women don't ejaculate.

    Leave a comment:


  • siren
    replied
    I didn't have my first orgasm til I was around 20, and even longer than that to have one with a man. Maybe around 25 or 26? I'm only able to orgasm during sex in one particular position and only if I'm also rubbing myself. It gets boring tbh.

    Leave a comment:


  • intensecity
    replied

    I consider myself both introverted + extroverted, but more on the introverted side....

    I usually think i can let go myself during sex....But, when I think about it, maybe not totally if I can't reach an orgasm.... It could be that I went through all of my sexual life never actually trying to have one.... I just was most focused on making sure the guy + myself were enjoying it....

    I am usually very "in the moment" during sex most of the times.... There may be times where I may get distracted by something I hear or see, but I am able to get back into it within a few seconds to minutes....

    When I am with someone, I would generally say that I am focused on making sure we both have pleasure...@ the end, I am content enough that the guy was able to have an orgasm over me having one....That gives me way more pleasure than me achieving one....

    I never had strong religious beliefs....I am kinda indifferent to religion in general....

    I will add that I had one experience where I was fooling around with a guy who was hell bent on making me squirt as if it was that his whole purpose in that time....He spent probably @ least an hour fingering me until I squirted....I guess that could be the only time I came if squirting counts.... But, I got annoyed af because he was persistent in getting me to do when I had enough probably within half an hour.... Afterwards, he didn't give a fuck on whether I returned the favor which worked out for me because I was turned off in his persistence....I'm glad we didn't talk again after that.... I mentioned that experience because maybe it gave a little insight?




    Leave a comment:


  • Robby
    replied
    What a great question to ask, and I applaud your courage, asking the first question of this deeply personal matter.

    As you understand through your own experiences, you are usually satisfied enough to just bask in the glow of pleasure that comes from just the experience without the strong need for a solid, well-defined finish. Men, on the other hand, feel that there must be a climax, with fluids, for that happy ending. Sex without an orgasm equals a bad experience for guys, even if everything felt great up to the point of stopping. So based upon gender alone, we look at orgasm with differing levels of importance.

    There is a difference between being strongly aroused/excited and having a full-blown orgasm. And, as you already understand, orgasms can come in different intensities. I've known a number of women in your age bracket that have not had an actual orgasm. You are far from being alone.

    I want to offer some thoughts, but first I want to ask a couple of questions.

    Would you consider yourself an introverted person?

    Do you find that you give yourself permission to "let go" during sex?

    Do you find yourself completely "in the moment" or are you easily distracted during sex?

    When you're with someone, do you find yourself focused on their pleasure more than yours or is your focus equally divided between yourself and your partner?

    Do you have or have had, strong religious beliefs?

    Thanks, intensecity.

    Leave a comment:


  • NuTrix
    replied
    I almost always orgasm, but when I don't, I still enjoy sex A LOT.
    I get wet before/during sex, so everything is always lubed up, lol, but that's not the same as orgasms.
    I never say no to sex, even when I'm dog tired, because I know it doesn't take much to get me warmed up and the reward is always worth it.

    Maybe it helps that I've been in LTRs and we have comfort and intimacy? Nah, because before that when it was just boy/girl friends I liked sex too
    I've always had a wound up lobido though. I think even if I had less orgasms, I would still want sex just as much
    I've had orgasms from self stimulation, mental fantasy, getting my SO off giving him head and him doing the same for me.

    Satisfied without an orgasm? Hmm. That's a little different. It definitely isn't the same kind of satisfaction that orgasming brings, but it is enjoyable and pleasurable and I can say, satisfying in its own way.

    My 2c

    Leave a comment:


  • Vicki Lee
    replied

    Leave a comment:


  • zeratul
    replied
    Oh and yess! Man are really concerned if they performed 'well', and sometimes we assume that women's cum is one of the indicators of your satisfaction (and some think it is the ONLY one). Soo, if they think so, you can reaffirm him that you enjoyed the sex and felt satisfied (in honest way, not trying to please him by lying). It would make him feel better.

    Leave a comment:


  • zeratul
    replied
    I think this topic is not offensive at all. And, orgasm is way more complex than only cumming, although the cum is one of indicator of you reach your climax.

    The physical aspects of orgasm which may be measured include:
    1. Building sensations;
    2. Flushing sensations;
    3. Flooding sensations;
    4. Shooting sensations;
    5. Throbbing sensations; and
    6. General spasms.
    The emotional aspects include:
    1. Pleasurable satisfaction;
    2. Relaxation;
    3. Emotional intimacy; and
    4. Ecstasy.
    So, as long as you enjoy the sensation of being 'climax' or your muscle surrounding contracted, I think you have already reached your orgasm (even without any liquid)

    Source: https://www.myvmc.com/lifestyles/female-orgasm/

    Well, this is theoritically. I also wonder the answer from the women!

    Leave a comment:


  • intensecity
    started a topic I don't think I ever orgasmed?

    I don't think I ever orgasmed?


    I am surprised that there has been no post made in this sub forum, but I guess it's up to me to take one for the team in devirginizing this area.... I hope this topic isn't too offensive....If it is, let me know or just delete the topic....I will understand with no hard feelings....

    I started having sex before I turned 20 + been masturbating for years before that as of a young kid.... Through all of my sexual experiences including solo ones, I don't think I actually had an orgasm.... If orgasm means cumming.... I am not saying I never enjoy it because I have thoroughly many many times before....I don't think I have ever orgasmed if it involves cumming....I never came.... But, then when i think of it, I don't think I felt an orgasm where it's earth-shattering or how it's been described.... I have just enjoyed it so much to where I feel satisfied without needing something to come out of my body.... Over the years, I have grown comfortable to the fact that I don't need to cum nor orgasm to enjoy sex, but there has been a few men that I have been with who seemed to have feel some kinda way that I don't cum or orgasm thinking it's because the sex wasn't good enough..... Any of you are like me?

    I feel like an awkward teenager who doesn't know about sex instead of a 36 year old that I am.... I did happen to just read something online that says cumming + orgasm is different....

    I hope I made sense, btw.... A large part of me doesn't feel ashamed that I am lacking in this department, but a tiny part does....;-x

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